


Endless Road

by sakabelle



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Backpacker AU, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-08 13:20:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 63,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1942659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakabelle/pseuds/sakabelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eighteen year old Harry Styles planned to spend six months backpacking across Europe with his older sister Gemma. What he didn't plan was to meet an irresistible blonde boy called Niall on their very first stop. As Harry starts to fall in love with Niall, there's only one thing he's certain about. Gemma can't <i>ever</i> find out.</p><p>Unbeknownst to Harry, his budding relationship with Niall isn't the biggest secret being kept over the course of their travels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because how could I not be inspired by that amazing WWA tour intro video?? I'm pretty sure I started writing this the day that tour started and that I've subsequently watched that video about a million times. 
> 
> Many thanks to Jess for the endless brainstorming sessions and inspiration <3
> 
> As with Just Words, updates will typically be on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

“Gemma, I'm hungry, ” Harry very nearly whined as he followed three paces behind his sister. He knew it probably wasn't going to help, but he needed to vocalize it anyway. On the off-chance that Gemma would actually deviate from their plan.

As predicted, Gemma ignored him. Her delicate hands gripped the map as she glanced around. “This way,” she said, looking up at the cobblestone road in front of them. She glanced back at her younger brother who wore a pout on his face. It was as though he was five years old and not eighteen. “Come on.”

She started walking and though Harry's stomach was growing profusely, he followed behind her. He didn't have much of a choice, really. It was do what Gemma told him to or be completely deserted on the streets of Italy.

Not that Gemma would actually leave him behind, as much as she threatened that Harry had to keep up with her. But he knew well enough not to piss his sister off. Especially when it was going to be just the two of them for the next six months.

They turned down a street that Harry never would have found if not for Gemma leading the way. She walked confidently in front of him, her long strawberry blonde hair bouncing a little bit with her steps. “We'll drop our things off at the hostel,” she said, looking back at him as they walked. “Then we'll go eat. I promise.”

Harry nodded. He knew that was the plan all along and it was nice of Gemma to acknowledge it. But it wasn't like it was stopping his stomach from eating itself.

“It should be just up here,” she said, stopping and glancing around.

Harry glanced around as well, but he wasn't actually looking. Gemma was the one running the show here. 

“Oh!” she exclaimed with light laughter, grabbing Harry's hand. “This is it!”

Harry looked up as he followed Gemma into the small building. He wasn't exactly sure what he'd been expecting, but it wasn't _this_. The building was obviously centuries old – but on the inside it looked incredibly modern. There was a common area right near the entrance and –

“Welcome!” they were greeted almost instantly by a short blonde boy with a wide smile.

Harry raised his eyebrow. His stomach growled again. He'd probably be enjoying this a lot more if he just had some food in his stomach. For the thousandth time that afternoon he regretted not finishing the meal that had been provided on the aeroplane.

“Hi,” Gemma said, a grin equally as big spreading across her face. “Do you work here?”

“No,” Another boy said, coming up behind the blonde boy. “That's just Niall. He greets everyone like that.”

The boy called Niall looked at the two of them and shrugged. He was still smiling with his hands in his pockets as he rolled on the balls of his feet to his ankles.

The other boy flipped through the book he had in his hands.

“Styles,” Gemma said, looking at him. “Harry and Gemma.”

“Oh right,” the boy said nodding as he kept looking down at the book. “The brother and sister from England. Well, nice to meet you, I'm Liam, and I've been working here for a few months.”

Harry and Gemma each nodded a polite hello, even though Harry's mind was still on their potential snack as well as this beaming blonde boy in front of him. Because who was actually that friendly that he'd greet any person that walked into the hostel he was staying at?

“Where in England are you from, then? I'm from Wolverhampton myself,” Liam said.

“Cheshire, Holmes Chapel actually,” Gemma said easily, smiling and looking at both Liam and then Niall.

Harry had to try as hard as he could to not roll his eyes because they'd only been here about two minutes and Gemma was already flirting with every boy they'd met. Literally.

“Oooh, Cheshire,” Liam teased, putting on a mock northern accent.

Niall raised his eyebrow as he looked at Gemma and Harry, then over to Liam. “Cheshire?” he asked.

Liam rolled his eyes. “Wants to be a world traveller, this one, but doesn't know the first thing about England besides London,” he laughed.

Niall scoffed, but didn't lose the light on his face. “That's not true!”

“It is,” Liam insisted, nodding his head. “Name one place in England besides London or Manchester.”

“Cheshire,” Niall smirked. Harry couldn't help but snort at the boy's wit.

Liam just shook his head. “Come on,” he said to Gemma and Harry. “I'll show you to your room.”

* * *

As Harry predicted, Rome was a lot more enjoyable when he had a full stomach. After quickly dropping off their bags, he and Gemma had headed off to wander around and absorb the city.

They didn't actually do any formal sightseeing, but that was okay. There was a lot of time for that and all they had the energy for that day was just walking around and immersing themselves in the culture. Which took up a lot of energy as it was, so they ended up strolling back into the hostel at 9pm.

It wasn't as empty as they'd thought it would be. Quite the opposite. The boys they recognised as Niall and Liam were sitting on a sofa in the common area, along with a couple other girls they had yet to meet.

“Hey, you're back,” Niall said, looking up at them as they walked past. “Do you two want a pint? Or I suppose I can make a coffee, if you like. Well, Liam can,” he laughed, slapping his friend on the back.

It was only for a split second, but Harry didn't miss how Niall's hand lingered until he slid it back into his lap.

Gemma glanced at Harry, who shrugged. Though he really wouldn't mind sitting around with the other people in their hostel, he was also tired as hell after a long day and sort of just wanted to go to sleep.

So Gemma just shook her head. “It's been a really long day, I think we're just going to go to sleep.”

Niall nodded at them with a slight look of disappointment on his face. Harry smiled at him as he and Gemma walked by, causing Niall's face to light up a little more as they made eye contact. Harry blushed a bit before he and Gemma disappeared into the stairwell on the way up to their room.

“Nice place, isn't it?” Gemma asked, peering out the window once they'd both changed into their night clothes.

“Uh, yeah,” Harry said, scrolling through his twitter feed. It was quite boring, but he was tired and there wasn't much else to do short of fall asleep. Which he couldn't quite do with Gemma still up and keen on having a chat. “The bed's pretty comfy.”

“Not the hostel,” Gemma said, laughing. “Rome. _Italy_. To think this is only the first place we've been. The first day even.”

Harry nodded. It was true – they still had months ahead of them and they'd only scratched the surface. 

“But the hostel's nice too,” Gemma said, walking over to her bed and laying down on it. “Everyone here is so nice.”

Harry nodded again. They had been nice so far – lots of the people there were around their age and when he and Gemma had come back from exploring they were all just sitting in the common room chilling out together. They probably would have sat with them as well, but again, knackered.

Gemma rolled over onto her stomach and looked across the room at Harry. “And that blonde one – Niall, was it? Absolutely gorgeous,” she grinned.

“He's gay, Gemma,” Harry said without even thinking about it. Because really, it should have been completely obvious.

“Really?” Gemma challenged, cocking her head to the side a little. “And how would _you_ know?”

Harry paused because he wasn't about to out himself to Gemma. Not when he hadn't even told their Mum yet, and that was the last way he needed for their trip to begin. “I dunno,” he said slowly, looking back down at his phone as though not to make eye contact with her. “He just keeps making eyes at Liam.”

But Gemma just rolled her eyes. “You'll find subtext in anything, won't you?” she laughed, flicking off the lamp beside her bed. “Go to sleep, Hazza. It's been a long day.”

She definitely wasn't wrong about that. And their adventure was only just beginning. “Yeah,” Harry yawned, crawling underneath the covers. “Good night.”


	2. Chapter 2

Harry woke up early the next morning. Early enough to see the sunlight just beginning to peek through the window. He rolled over and tried to go back to sleep (after all, he and Gemma had a long day of sightseeing ahead of them) but after a few minutes of tossing and turning, he sighed and sat up.

His sister, of course, was still dead to the world. Harry figured she could probably sleep through an earthquake. Even if that earthquake lasted ten hours.

So he swung his legs over the side of the bed and headed down to the common area to try and find something to eat. And since it was just past five in the morning, he expected to be alone in his endeavours.

He was proven wrong when he entered the kitchen to see Niall doting about - frying an egg and keeping his eye on a pot of coffee.

"Morning," Harry said sleepily. "You're up early."

Niall looked up at him with a grin, and then returned to looking back at his egg with his eyebrows knitted in frustration. "Yeh," he said, poking at the egg a bit his the spatula in his hand. "Sleep? I've got no time for that!" he laughed.

Harry laughed as well and figured that much was true. While Gemma was obviously content to sleep their time in Rome away, Harry wanted to experience every second of it. Even if that included a random breakfast with this boy he barely knew.

"Do you want an egg?" Niall offered, scraping his own out of the frying pan and plopping it onto a plate. "I can try, but I'm afraid I'm not a very good cook."

Harry eyed the brown-edged egg sitting on Niall's plate. "Here," he said stepping in front of Niall and cracking another egg into the pan. "Let me."

Niall watched as Harry easily watched the egg and then grabbed a lid out of the cupboard to place into the pan. "The trick is to let the heat get to the top of the egg too," Harry said, looking down at the pan and then at Niall for a moment.

Niall just nodded his head, but Harry wasn't actually sure that the boy cared too much about how to properly fry an egg.

"It takes less time," Harry said after a couple of minutes, lifting the lid off the pan. He held out his hand and Niall handed him the spatula. He expertly lifted the egg out of the pan and placed it onto Niall's plate.

“I already have-” Niall protested, but Harry gave him a look.

“Not really,” he laughed.

Niall smirked and maybe even blushed a little bit. “Well, thanks.”

Harry just shook his head and cracked another egg into the frying pan. He placed the lid overtop of it and looked over at Niall, who had sat himself down at the small table near the kitchen. Harry leaned back against the counter. “So where're you from, then?”

“Ireland,” Niall said, his mouth full of egg. “Mullingar, actually. Close to Dublin. Sort of.”

Harry nodded. He'd never actually been to Ireland – it wasn't even on his and Gemma's list of places to visit since it was completely in the other direction of their planned route. “Huh...” he said. “And you're travelling...”

“Everywhere,” Niall said with a nod. “Gonna see the whole world.”

Harry nodded. That was quite ambitious – he and Gemma only planned to go around Europe. And not even all of it. And even that was going to take them six months. Intrigued, he prodded Niall for more information. “How long do you think that's going to take?”

Niall shrugged his shoulders, finishing his eggs and standing up. “Dunno,” he said as he peered into the coffee maker. He pulled a mug out of one of the cupboard just as Harry placed his own egg onto his plate. “Coffee?” he asked, and Harry nodded.

Harry sat down at the table, watching as Niall poured two cups of coffee and sat down across from him. 

“Ah, shit, sorry, do you put milk or anything in it?”

Harry shook his head. Normally he could do with a bit of milk, but black was fine too. 

Or not. Harry tried as hard as he could to not make a face when he took a sip.

“My coffee making skills are about as good as my egg frying skills, yeah?” Niall laughed, turning his mouth down a bit as well when he took a sip from his own mug.

“No,” Harry laughed, setting the mug down. He wouldn't make the mistake of touching that again. “They're far, far worse.”

Niall leaned back in his chair and laughed again. It was loud and genuine and oddly enough, full of confidence. Like laughing was his favourite pastime no matter the source. Even if it was his own terrible coffee making skills.

“Ah,” Niall sighed, leaning his arms onto the table. “What're you planning to do today?”

Harry thought about that for a moment. Gemma had laid out a pretty good itinerary for them, but he didn't quite know it off the top of his head like she did. “Um,” he said, still thinking. “I think we're going to see Palatine Hill, maybe the Colosseum, or um no, I think it's the Vatican Museums, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Niall asked, looking wide-eyed. “Palatine Hill... that sounds really cool. Can I go with you?”

Harry gave him a bit of a look. “You haven't seen it? How long have you been here?” 

Niall shrugged again and squinted a bit as though he was deep in thought. “Um,” he started, tilting his head a bit. “A few days, maybe?”

Harry raised his eyebrow. He actually thought it had been a lot longer than that judging by how close Niall had seemed with Liam the day before. Then again, here he was sitting at the kitchen table having a perfectly comfortable conversation with him, so maybe Niall was just like that. Which was a good quality to have when it seemed he was travelling alone. 

“I'll have to ask Gemma, but yeah, it should be alright,” Harry said.

“Sick,” Niall said with a grin. “What's that about, anyway? Travelling with your sister?”

Harry shrugged. “We both wanted to travel around, and it made sense to do it together. Especially when we're young and don't have any responsibility or anything.”

“Yeah,” Niall said with a nod. “Well, suppose I'll go have a shower then,” he said, placing his dishes in the sink. “Gonna be a great day, Harry! Palatine Hill!” Niall said excitedly as he practically skipped off.

Harry smiled and watched him go. He took another sip of his coffee without thinking and promptly spit it back into his cup.

* * *

“So, I might've picked up a hitchhiker,” Harry said a couple hours later when Gemma stepped into their room, towelling off her wet hair.

Gemma raised her eyebrow. “What?”

“Niall,” Harry said, smiling and shaking his head a bit. “He wants to come with us to Palatine Hill. I figured you wouldn't mind, since you think he's so gorgeous and all.”

Gemma playfully smacked him in the shoulder. “What happened to, 'he's gay, Gemma'?” she lowered her voice, mocking him.

“You can still look at him,” Harry shrugged. “Anyway, it's alright, isn't it? If he comes with us?”

“Obviously,” Gemma said, hanging up her towel and brushing her hair. “This whole trip is supposed to be about us having new experiences and I think meeting new people counts as part of that.”

Harry beamed. This was what he loved the most about his sister. She wasn't high strung like any other girl he'd met. She was calm, easygoing, just like he was. He couldn't think of anyone else he'd rather be on this trip with.

The two of them rushed downstairs after gathering their things. Niall was easy to spot – map in his hand, black ray-bans sitting neatly on his face. “Ready to go?” he asked, holding out his arm.

Gemma walked towards him, but was intercepted by Harry who grabbed Niall's arm instead. The two of them thought this was hilarious of course, and doubled over in laughter. Gemma on the other hand just gave them a look and kept walking. “Come on,” she smiled.

They followed right behind her, giggling all the while.

* * *

“It's massive,” Niall breathed when they finally approached their destination. “Wow.”

Indeed it was massive, old and entirely how Harry had pictured Italy when he and Gemma had first discussed going there. The area itself was littered with history, and he looked down at his feet almost trying to absorb some of it.

Gemma, on the other hand, wandered off a few paces with her camera to ensure she could capture the moment digitally and perfectly.

Niall glanced over at her as she laid down in the dirt, trying to get the perfect shot. “She's one of those, is she?” he asked Harry, pointing at her with his thumb.

“Ah, yeah,” Harry said, looking up from his daydreams attached to his feet. “I think she wants to make a mural on her bedroom wall when we get home or something.”

Niall nodded. “Cool. So what do you reckon the Romans were like?”

“Cranky,” Harry said as he kept looking out at the structures in front of them. “Definitely cranky.”

“How do you figure?” Niall asked, his hands in his pockets. He was doing that thing again, where he rolled from his ankles to the balls of his feet.

Harry shrugged as he looked at him. “I'd be cranky if I wore sandals all the time. They're not very comfortable, and the ground around here isn't exactly flat.”

“Yeh,” Niall agreed. “But they wore those robes all the time. Those looked comfortable. Let everything breathe.”

Harry burst out laughing so hard that he didn't even notice Gemma walk up to the two of them and snap a candid photo. 

“Lovely,” she smiled. “Let's keep looking around.”

And again, Niall and Harry followed behind her, giggling the whole way.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry and Gemma were woken up early the next morning by a loud rapping on the door.

“Hrm,” Gemma groaned, pulling the pillow over her head. “Thought going on a trip would help us escape Mum's early wake-up calls,” she grumbled, rolling over onto her side.

Harry just blinked his eyes a few times before begrudgingly getting out of bed. He opened the door to his and Gemma's shared room to see Niall standing there smiling brightly.

“Mornin'!” he laughed, eyes likely wide behind his ray-bans.

Harry scratched the top of his head. They'd actually stayed up quite late the night before drinking pints with some of the others in the common room. He couldn't fathom how Niall was awake and alert this early in the morning.

“Morning,” Harry said slowly. “You're up early.”

Niall shrugged. “Up early every day. Let's go to this cafe up the road for breakfast. Best cappuccino you'll ever have.”

Harry just gave him a look. He was actually serious... and he supposed he couldn't complain. It wasn't like he wanted to sleep away his entire trip. “I don't really trust your judgement on coffee,” Harry said with a smirk.

Niall laughed, offering Harry a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “I know my coffee is shite, don't worry.”

It was impossible for Harry to resist Niall's adorable pout. “Alright,” he said. “Just let me get dressed.”

Niall nodded, and Harry closed the door. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and grabbed his wallet. He glanced over at Gemma, who was still sleeping with her face towards the wall.

“Gemma,” he whispered. “I'm going out to breakfast with Niall, alright?”

“Mmmm,” was Gemma's only response as she continued to sleep, nodding her head ever so slightly.

Harry smiled to himself as he exited the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. He looked at Niall, who was still standing outside their room with his hands in the pockets of his shorts. “Ready to go?” 

“Yeah,” Harry said, following Niall down the stairs and out of the building. They walked a few paces down the road, and in no time they were at Niall's apparent favourite cafe. He stepped in front of Harry, pushing the door open and causing the little bell atop to ring.

“Niall!” a short Italian lady behind the counter exclaimed. “How are you?”

Niall smiled at her, but Harry just looked at him oddly. It was unfathomable to him how Niall could just connect with people he'd just met like he'd known them his entire life – which is exactly how he was acting towards him. 

“Molto bene,” he grinned. “Sophia, this is Harry. He's staying at the same hostel as me.”

“Ah, Harry, good morning,” she grinned. “Sit down,” she instructed, gesturing towards the stools in front of the bar she was standing at. “What's for breakfast?”

“Cappuccino,” Niall said as they sat on the stools. He glanced over at the wide assortment of pastries in the display case. “And brioche. Due.”

Sophia nodded, walking off to prepare their food.

“Sophia told me all about Italy the first day I got here,” Niall said, leaning his arms on the counter. “Must have sat here for hours listening to all of the best places to visit.”

“And how many of them have you gone to, hm?” Sophia asked him from the other end of the bar while she prepared their coffees on the espresso machine.

“We went to Palatine Hill yesterday,” Niall said, sitting up and looking quite pleased with himself. “Walked around and looked at the whole thing. It's massive.”

She smiled as she placed two cups in front of them, both filled with espresso and heaping with milk foam. 

“Grazie,” Niall grinned, bringing his cup to his lips. “È grande,” he said.

“You speak Italian?” Harry asked, looking at him.

“No,” Sophia laughed, giving Niall a look as she fetched their pasties.

Niall shrugged. “I try my best.”

Harry watched in wonder as Niall easily chatted with Sophia. He'd always thought of himself as a friendly person, but Niall brought it to a whole new level. He'd only been in the city a few days longer than Harry and already he'd made a whole bunch of friends and was obviously keen on making more.

Getting to know this outgoing Irish boy better was definitely something Harry could deal with. However, he also knew that he and Gemma only had a couple days left in Rome, and then they were off to... somewhere else in Italy. Harry wasn't quite sure. Gemma was the one with their travel schedule outlined down to the day.

And of course he had no idea what Niall's plans were. He wasn't even sure Niall had any idea what his plans were, but he figured it didn't hurt to ask.

“So where are you headed after Rome?” Harry asked once they'd received their pasties.

Niall thoughtfully ripped a piece off of his brioche and dipped it into his coffee. “Hmmm. I don't really know, to be honest with you. Maybe more of Italy, or Spain maybe.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, Gemma and I are going to Spain after Italy, I think. Are you just travelling alone the whole time?”

Niall shrugged. “Yeah, but not really. Make friends along the way, you know,” he said, gesturing between the two of them. “Meet loads of different people, then go to the next city and make a whole lot of new friends.”

“That's ambitious,” Harry commented as he took a bite of his pastry and chewed on it thoughtfully.

“It's better if you dip it in the coffee,” Niall said, watching him. “Anyway, where are you guys going today? More sightseeing?”

“Yeah, I think it's the Colosseum today,” Harry said, even though he was about 30 percent confident that was it. He really needed to keep a better eye on that itinerary. 

“And I'll go with you?” Niall prodded, leaning in a bit closer to Harry. “It's cool?”

Harry laughed as he playfully shoved Niall away from his face. “Yeah, it's cool.”

* * *

“Being a gladiator must have been sick,” Niall said loudly as he gulped down his beer. He, Harry and Gemma were sitting in a crowded pub, smooshed together in a booth that was really only meant for two people.

Which meant that Gemma was on one side of the table, and Niall and Harry were tangled up on the other. This was on account of Gemma's insistence that she not be squished up next to her brother. So, naturally the logical next choice was Harry sharing with Niall, which he couldn't really say he minded all too much. Niall was small anyway, so it wasn't like he took up much room.

Although, he did speak with much gesticulation while he was drinking, so Harry did have to be cautious to not get hit with a flying arm. Especially as he was talking about gladiators.

“Another round?” Gemma asked, glancing down at their nearly finished drinks.

“You don't have to do that, Gem,” Niall said, beginning to stand up, even though Harry was blocking his way from getting out of the booth. “I'll get it.”

She shook her head. “Sit down, Niall. I'll get them.”

Niall shrugged. “If you insist. Thanks!”

Gemma nodded as she wandered off over to the counter. 

Harry turned to look at Niall. He contemplated trying to figure out more about him – particularly if his assumption about him from a couple days before was true or not. He wasn't sure he wanted to actually dig into it though.

Gemma had certainly been right – Niall was nice to look at. What was the word she used? Gorgeous... yeah, Harry could agree with that. His bright blue eyes, blonde highlights and thick eyebrows complimented each other well.

But he wasn't about to let himself develop a crush on this boy he'd only have a couple days left with at most. 

Moments later, Gemma returned with their drinks. She set them down on the table a little shakily, spilling them a bit. It didn't really matter though. She sat down and the three of them clinked their glasses together before each taking a large swig.

“So Niall,” Gemma said, looking directly at him. “Any girlfriend back home waiting for you to return with a whole bunch of stories?”

Harry glared at Gemma, but she ignored his look and kept her eyes firmly fixed on the blonde boy in front of her. 

“Ah, no,” Niall laughed a little more awkwardly than usual as he took another sip of his beer. “Definitely no girlfriend. But um, no boyfriend either! I'm a single pringle!”

Harry looked at Gemma and widened his eyes, as if to say “I told you so.”

But Gemma still didn't acknowledge him. Instead she just laughed easily, like what Niall had just admitted to them hadn't fazed her in the slightest. “Yeah, me neither.”

In order to avoid answering the question, Harry focused all of his energy on his beer. In fact, he wasn't so sure he'd ever gulped down a pint so quickly in his entire life.

“Wow,” Gemma commented with a laugh. “Thirsty, Haz?”

Harry shrugged. “Long day,” he said with a smirk.

“I'll say,” she replied, looking at her own half-finished drink while Niall's was also nearly empty. “Looks like you two could use a refresher... I'll get it.”

“Gemma,” Niall said, standing up and attempting to push past Harry.

But Gemma just set her hand on Niall's shoulder and pushed him down. “I said I'll get it,” she said. “But first I'm going to the loo. Give me a minute.”

Harry glanced back, and when he was absolutely sure Gemma was out of earshot (although, that would have been two paces away given how loud and crowded the pub was) he turned to Niall. He bit his lip a little and thumbed the condensation on his glass. “Um,” he started, not really knowing how to blurt out what he wanted to say. “I... I don't have a boyfriend at home either.”

He looked up at Niall slowly. And Niall just nodded his head thoughtfully – because for once in his life it seemed like he didn't have any words.

And he actually didn't – because instead of saying something, he leaned in and smushed his lips against Harry's.

It was a drunken kiss – and Niall tasted like the beer he'd just downed, but that didn't mean it was bad. Quite the opposite, actually. It sent an electric shock down Harry's spine. Partly because Niall was so, so lovely, and partly because he hadn't expected that at all.

Plus, Niall's lips were soft and thin, fitting like a perfect puzzle piece along Harry's plump mouth.

“Sorry,” Niall said a bit sheepishly when he pulled away. “I've never really drunkenly kissed another lad before... I don't think, anyway. But I've sort of been wanting to do that for that last couple of days.”

Harry smiled at him. If he thought Niall was attractive before, it was nothing compared to this moment. His forehead glistened with a bit of sweat, his cheeks were flushed and his t-shirt was clinging tightly to his body.

“Yeah, it's alright,” he said, glancing back to make sure Gemma wasn't about to sit down. He couldn't even see her in the crowd, so he figured she must have still been at the toilet. “Just... Gemma doesn't know.”

“Ah,” Niall nodded. “Totally understand.”

Harry glanced back again. He spotted Gemma standing at the bar, but her back was turned and there was no way she could see them.

So Harry leaned in and kissed Niall softly again. He didn't linger too long because the last thing he wanted was to be caught by his sister, but he savoured the taste of Niall's lips on his own all the same.

“We'll have to find some more time to do that,” Niall said with a grin when Harry pulled away, and Harry just nodded, giggling slightly as he looked at him.

How he'd gotten so lucky to randomly find this boy in the middle of Rome, he had no idea, but he was certainly thankful for it.

“Alright,” Gemma said, interrupting Harry's thoughts as she placed yet another three pints in front of them. She raised her own glass after sitting down. “To new friends!” she grinned.

Harry and Niall glanced at each other and clinked their glasses against Gemma's. “New friends!” they repeated.

“New adventures,” Niall said, raising his eyebrows.

Harry and Gemma nodded. “New adventures,” they affirmed, clinking their glasses again.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry was buzzing.

Well, he had been buzzing. Now, he was restless laying in his bed in the hostel staring and the ceiling and replaying Niall's lips on his own over and over again in his head.

It wasn't like he'd never kissed a boy before. He had a few times at parties with his friends when he was younger. But those were mostly just random drunken moments.

Which was really all the kiss with Niall should have been. The problem was, the more he got to know Niall the more he was attracted to him. To everything about him. His messy bleached blonde hair, his clear blue eyes, his wide smile and his infectious laugh.

Harry sat up in his bed, contemplating going to find Niall and kiss him again.

Then he laid back down because that was an absolutely ridiculous idea and he might have still been a little drunk.

He turned his head and glanced over at Gemma. She was obviously asleep, with her head under the covers and snoring lightly on account of all the pints they'd consumed.

Harry took a deep breath and got out of bed as quick as he could so he wouldn't change his mind. There was only one problem, which he realised when he stepped out of his room and stood in the hallway.

He had no clue which room was Niall's, and he wasn't about to go knocking on all the doors in order to find out. So, admitting defeat (and really, he was just being silly anyway) he retreated back to his room and crawled back under the covers.

He assured himself he'd see Niall tomorrow as he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

* * *

He was right, of course.

Like clockwork, Niall was knocking on Harry's door at six in the morning. Only this time, Harry had been awake since 5:45, staring at the clock on the bedside table as he hoped and waited for Niall to show up.

Gemma didn't even wake up this time as Harry opened the door and greeted Niall with a soft, tired smile. 

“Morning.”

“Breakfast?” Niall asked, skipping the formalities. 

Harry nodded. “Just let me get-”

“Dressed? Yeah,” Niall nodded as he turned and went downstairs.

In no time, Harry was dressed and he and Niall where back at that little cafe Niall had taken him to the day before. Sipping on cappuccinos and eating biscotti this time, Harry suddenly realised that this was probably his last breakfast with Niall. He and Gemma were leaving Rome the next day, and as Harry recalled, their train left pretty early.

It was weird to think that over the past three days he'd settled into a nice little routine with the Irish boy.

“What are we doing today?” Niall asked him, taking a sip of his coffee

“Roman Forum,” Harry said with absolute certainty. It had been the thing he was looking forward to most during their visit. 

Niall nodded with excitement. “Yeah, that'll be really cool I think.”

“So cool,” Harry agreed. “They have all sorts of walking tours and the like. I think it'll be really really interesting.”

Niall nodded, finishing off his cappuccino and Harry had to smirk at him, having left milk foam on his upper lip. He glanced around to make sure no one was watching – which was ridiculous because it wasn't like anyone there knew him. Then, he leaned in and kissed Niall's mouth softly.

It was different than the night before – it was less sweaty and less rushed and less sudden. Niall easily kissed Harry back, using his tongue just a little bit before pulling away.

“Well, that was unexpected,” Niall laughed a bit.

“And you kissing me in the pub last night wasn't?” Harry grinned.

Niall shrugged, unable to argue with that logic. “I suppose so, yeah.”

Harry wanted to keep kissing Niall. He really and truly did, especially since they were leaving the next day. But it was also getting a bit late, and Gemma was probably going to be awake soon... which meant they'd actually have to get a start on their day.

And Harry didn't mind that either. After all, the whole reason he was on this trip was to spend time with his sister and tour Europe. Not so he could make out with blonde Irish boys.

“We should probably head back, get ready for the day,” Harry said, standing up from his stool.

“Right, yeah,” Niall nodded eagerly. “But um, just one more thing,” he said with a playful grin before leaning upwards and kissing Harry with a loud smacking sound.

Harry couldn't contain the smile on his face as he followed Niall out of the cafe.

* * *

“This is so cool,” Harry marvelled as he, Gemma and Niall, along with a whole bunch of other tourists followed their walking guide through the Roman Forum. “Imagine all the history that took place here. It's incredible, I bet. So many things that we won't ever know about happened right where we're standing.”

“That's always true, Hazza,” Gemma said with a laugh. “Even at home. You don't know what sorts of conversations happen at Costa.”

Harry rolled his eyes, but Niall laughed as always. Everything was funny to him, so Harry couldn't help but crack a little smile.

The guide started talking again, pointing out some interesting fact about one of the buildings to their right. Gemma pulled out her camera of course, snapping a photo and then zooming in and changing the angle a bit to snap another. 

She pointed her camera towards Harry and Niall, to which they turned to look at her.

“No don't,” she said, shaking her head. “I want to get a picture of the two of you looking at it.”

So they turned their head back, trying to make it look like they were actually looking and not just posing for a picture. Harry succeeded. Niall didn't really because he still had a grin plastered on his face. 

They continued walking, Gemma moving a couple paces ahead of them so she could snap better photos. Harry moved to take his phone out of his pocket, keen on capturing Gemma taking photos so he could laugh about that when they got home.

Instead, his hand brushed against Niall's accidentally. Without missing a beat, Niall intertwined his fingers with Harry's only for a second, but it was long enough for Harry's heart to speed up in his chest. Harry looked over at Niall, and Niall just winked at him.

Harry looked back up at Gemma, who was completely oblivious to what was happening behind her. And then he looked at the tour guide and tried to concentrate on what he was saying.

But it was hard with Niall the beautiful distraction walking right beside him.

* * *

It was late when they arrived back at the hostel. “I'm knackered,” Gemma said, yawning as she walked straight from the front door and continued up to their room. “Night, lads.”

Harry nodded a goodnight to her and then looked back at Niall, who was smiling again. He began to wonder if Niall had any other emotion other than excited, cheerful or amused.

“We could go chill in my room,” Niall suggested, shrugging his shoulders looking nonchalant.

He was probably anything but, however Harry couldn't be so sure. “Yeah,” he said. “Alright.”

Niall's room was on the opposite end of the hallway than Harry and Gemma's, which was a good thing because as soon as the door clicked shut Niall was pressing his mouth against Harry's again.

Niall wasn't a great kisser - he was sort of messy about it. But Harry didn't really care that much. It didn't matter that Niall obviously didn't quite know what he was doing, because truth be told, Harry didn't either. They'd also gone out for a couple pints again after their tour that day, so there was that.

But Niall was actually so fit it was hard for Harry to process. His thin frame was somewhat muscular and it sat against Harry's larger build nicely. 

Niall obviously didn't waste any time either, because he was already tugging at the bottom of Harry's t-shirt. Harry wasn't exactly sure how far he wanted to go with this but he could deal with seeing Niall shirtless. He could probably deal with seeing a lot of other things too, if the throbbing in his shorts was any indication.

Harry lifted his arms up and allowed Niall to pull his shirt over his head. As soon as it was tossed on the floor, Niall was kissing and touching Harry's chest like it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

“Um,” Harry said awkwardly, and Niall looked up at him. Harry nodded his head towards the bed, and Niall pulled him over there eagerly, pulling Harry down on top of him in the process.

Niall's hands found their way up to Harry's mess of curls and he sighed as Harry slid his hand up his shirt. Niall's skin was softer than Harry had imagined it being – and over the course of the day he'd spent a good portion of time thinking about it.

The Roman Forum was sort of boring anyway. Especially compared to this.

Harry could feel Niall's erection straining against his shorts, and it really wasn't helping him to think clearly. He sat up a bit, placing his hand on Niall's back and pulled him up with him. Niall took the hint, and took his shirt off, throwing it on the floor.

“You're really, really fit,” Harry said, looking at Niall's soft skin and the whisps on hair on his chest. “Like, really fit,” he nearly moaned, laying down on top of Niall again.

“Ugh,” was all Niall managed to sputter out as he gripped Harry's hips and started grinding against him. They didn't even start off slowly – because it was clear that both of them had been waiting for this the entire day. They just rocked against each other, their sweaty skin sticking together and the bed creaking against the wall.

Niall dug his fingertips into Harry's sides, while Harry clutched onto Niall's shoulders. “Ah, Harry, yeah,” Niall moaned, his eyes closed and his mouth hanging open as he continued to grind against Harry. “Fuck.”

It was obvious that Niall was finished as he uncurled underneath Harry, biting down on his lip. Two more thrusts and Harry was done too, gripping Niall's shoulders so hard that he was sure he was going to leave a mark.

“Wow,” Niall breathed, his chest heaving as Harry rolled off of him. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, catching his breath after a moment.

Niall was still breathing hard, but that didn't stop him from leaning upwards and kissing Harry again. “You're really fucking hot.”

Harry just laughed a bit. “You too.”

Niall shook his head. “Yeah. Wow.”

Harry laid his head down on Niall's pillow and his eyelids started to droop. It was only seconds before he fell asleep that his eyes shot open because he realised he couldn't. He had to go back to his own room – there was no way he could let Gemma catch him.

“I hate to do this, but...” Harry started awkwardly, hoping Niall would get the hint.

He did. “Yeah,” he yawned. “It's cool. See you tomorrow, Harry.”

Harry nodded and kissed Niall once more before leaving. He didn't have the heart to tell him that he was leaving the next day.


	5. Chapter 5

“Harry,” Gemma said softly, shaking him awake. “Wake up, we've got to get moving. Our train to Florence leaves in two hours and you still need to shower.”

“Mmph,” Harry grumbled, glancing at the clock. 6:00. Why on earth had he allowed Gemma to book such an early train? “Yeah, alright,” he said.

He sat up and scratched his head as he watched Gemma continue to make sure everything in her bag was neatly packed and that they had all of their travel documents for the day. 

Then there was a knock at the door, which made Harry's heart simultaneously leap and sink. It was obviously Niall – and now they were going to have to say goodbye.

Gemma furrowed her eyebrows as she opened the door, and looked surprised when she saw Niall standing there. “Niall! Come to see us off?”

Niall cocked his head to the side and glanced over at Harry. “Off?” he asked. “You're leaving? Where are you going?”

“Florence,” she said, glancing back at Harry. “I thought you knew we were leaving today.”

Niall shook his head. He didn't look overly bothered – but Harry still looked at the ground awkwardly. This was completely not how he wanted this to go. Not that he was sure how he had wanted it to go... but not this way with Gemma standing in the room.

Gemma shrugged. “Suppose you could come with us if you wanted...”

Harry looked up, his eyes wide. He hadn't expected Gemma to say _that_.

Niall looked contemplative as he leaned against the doorframe. “Hm,” he said, scratching his chin like he was really considering it. “I don't really have any plans for what to do after Rome. Actually, I don't really have any plans at all.”

“You should come with us then,” Harry blurted out, standing up. “I mean, why not?”

It was a simple enough question. Niall had said himself he didn't have any plans and he had mentioned before that he wanted to see more of Italy.

Niall shrugged. “Yeah, alright. When did you say your train left again?”

“Eight,” Gemma said straight away and Harry had to hold back his laughter. His sister could randomly invite someone they'd just met to continue travelling with them, but come hell or high water they were sticking to their pre-determined schedule.

“I'm going to have a shower,” Harry said, grabbing some clean clothes out of his bag and slinking though the doorframe, past Niall. “Glad you're coming with us, mate,” he grinned, placing a hand on his shoulder before walking off in the direction of the bathroom.

Niall beamed, looking at Gemma. “Well, suppose I'd better pack up!”

“Suppose so,” Gemma smiled, hands on her hips.

* * *

“What's the plan for Florence?” Niall asked once the train started moving. He was in the row ahead of Harry and Gemma, turned around with his arms resting on the top of his seat as he looked down at them.

“Two days,” Gemma said easily as she pulled her camera and iPod out of her backpack and placed them in the seat pocket in front of her. “We're going to see Piazza della Signoria, The Cathedral and The Baptistery. Then it's off to Venice...”

“Look at her,” Niall laughed, nodding at Harry. “She's a right travel agent.”

Harry giggled and looked over at Gemma, who just rolled her eyes.

“If it was up to you two, you'd just be lost. Someone's got to keep you on track.”

“I didn't say it was a bad thing,” Niall grinned, shrugging his shoulders.

She glanced over at Harry, who nodded eagerly in agreement. 

Gemma shrugged. She pulled her camera out from the seat pocket and turned it on, pointing it at Niall. She snapped a quick picture of him, still leaning his arms on top of his seat. “You're very photogenic,” she commented, looking at the photo in the viewfinder.

“Well thank you,” Niall said, striking a bit of a pose and holding his hand out beside his face. “Make sure you get my good side.”

Harry smiled and looked down at his lap. All of Niall's sides were good ones as far as he was concerned.

* * *

The hostel in Florence was full, which meant Niall had to cram into Harry and Gemma's room. A room that only had two twin beds in it.

“It's cool,” Niall said, tossing his bags at his feet. “I'll sleep on the floor. I don't mind.”

Harry scratched his arm awkwardly. He wouldn't mind sharing his bed with Niall. It was just Gemma...

“You're not sleeping on the floor,” Gemma said seriously. 

Niall just shrugged. “It's fine. I tagged along with you, after all. Anyway, enough about that. What's the plan for today then? And while we're on the way let's get something to eat, I'm starving.”

“Piazza della Signoria,” Gemma said, placing her camera strap around her neck and slinging her shoulder bag over her arm. “And I'm hungry too, we'll find something on the way.”

Harry silently followed behind the two of them as they left the hostel and made their way towards their destination for the day. Niall and Gemma laughed and talked, mostly about the annoying couple who were across the aisle from them on the train.

But Harry couldn't stop staring at Niall. The back of his head and how his blonde highlights poked out from underneath his snapback. The profile of his face when he turned to laugh at something Gemma had said.

Harry really needed to start paying attention to the scenery around him and the whole reason he'd come on the trip. He made a conscious effort to glance at the buildings they walked past and take in the architecture.

Niall glanced back at Harry at one point and puckered his lips into a quick kiss of the air. 

Harry grinned. And before he had to force himself to pay attention to the bloody architecture again, Gemma and Niall ducked into a cafe.

“That smells amazing,” Gemma said, leaning her head back and taking in a large breath of air. 

“Yeh,” Niall said, walking over to the counter. “Look at all this.”

Indeed there was a lot to look at. A wide assortment of cakes, pastries and Harry's personal favourite, macaroons littered the glass display case. 

“I want to eat all of it,” Niall said, practically drooling. “Harry, which one do you want?”

The only thing Harry was hungry for was Niall's mouth back on his own. But he couldn't have that – not with Gemma standing right there. She probably wouldn't mind. Maybe if he just told her – 

“He'll have a vanilla macaroon,” Gemma said in that all knowing big sister tone she liked to use. “That big one.”

“Macaroon, huh?” Niall asked. “Too light for me. I'm going to have one of those cheese buns. What're you having, Gem?”

Gemma raised her eyebrow at Niall. Harry wondered if she was going to correct him since she hated being called “Gem.” She didn't though. Instead she just looked at the glass case again. “I suppose I'll have a cheese bun as well.”

The three continued on their way again after paying for their food and taking a moment to consult the girl behind the counter for directions. 

It didn't take them much longer to arrive at Piazza della Signoria. But when they did, Harry suddenly found it a lot easier to appreciate the art and culture again. The Palazzo Vecchio was particularly fascinating with its large tower and massive marble entrance.

“This is so cool,” Harry said, taking in a breath as he looked around. Even Niall who usually had some kind of silly comment was silent as he looked around at the space.

They were so enthralled at they didn't even notice Gemma take a photo of them.

“That's a better one than last time,” she commented, looking at the viewfinder.

Gemma had been right to plan for this one thing on a single day, because that single day was long. They spent the better part of that day pursuing the galleries courtyards. They stopped for a late supper on their way back to the hostel, and by the time they arrived back in their room they were exhausted. 

Gemma crawled under the covers of her bed. “Goodnight, lads. Harry, don't let Niall sleep on the floor.”

Niall and Harry looked at each other and shrugged. That solved that problem – Gemma had practically instructed them to share the bed.

Or, she had instructed Harry to sleep on the floor. But he was choosing to ignore that possibility and instead pulled off his shirt and jeans, tossing them into a heap on the floor.

Niall did the same and soon enough they were curled up tightly together in the small bed. Harry was laying on his back and Niall was cuddled up to him, his head resting on Harry's shoulder and his legs tangled up on top of his.

“Hmmm,” Niall sighed, his eyes drooping as he glanced up at Harry. “This is much more comfortable than the floor.”

Harry quietly kissed the top of Niall's head. That was a sentiment he absolutely agreed with.


	6. Chapter 6

When it was time for them to take a train to Venice, Niall didn't even ask Harry and Gemma if he could go with them. He just went. He couldn't get a seat near them, but that was fine. They slept for a good portion of the two hour train ride anyway.

Their hostel was full again, but at least this time there were two double beds in the room. Besides, Harry and Niall had shared that cramped twin bed for two nights in Florence and Gemma hadn't said anything or cared. Harry figured she was just happy that she didn't have to share her sleeping space with her brother or some random guy they'd just met.

Random guy who had now travelled to two separate cities with them, but still. They'd barely even known him a week!

And when Harry thought about that as the three of them walked through St. Mark's Square, it was almost surreal. Niall and Gemma got on so well, always laughing and talking. Niall was able to put up with her sarcastic, dry wit, and Gemma was amused by his lighthearted attitude.

They played well off of each other, which was nice because the last thing Harry wanted was for Gemma to suggest that she and Harry continue the trip just the two of them.

“This is so romantic,” Gemma sighed the next day as the three of them sat on a water taxi on the Grand Canal. “Pity I'm here with you lot.”

Harry rolled his eyes because he couldn't care less about the romantic setting. He just liked the buildings lining the water and the actual city scape.

He supposed there was Niall, but there was nothing romantic about that. Attraction? Yes. Hidden kisses and cuddles at night when Gemma was asleep? Definitely. But romance? Not really.

Niall laughed and jokingly placed his arm around Gemma, which she promptly removed from her shoulders. But she still cracked a smile when she did so. Harry couldn't help but laugh as well.

The food in Italy was wonderful, but the wine was even better. And on their last night in Venice they enjoyed a couple of bottles that were far out of their price range.

“Are you a secret millionaire or something?” Gemma asked when Niall insisted he would pay.

He laughed and shook his head as the waiter brought their dessert. He poured three glasses of the wine and left the bottle sitting on the table, taunting them with its class. “No, I just like to treat myself once in a while.”

It was a good way to live, Harry decided. He'd never been much for wine really, but the bottle of Shiraz that Niall had ordered was smooth and not too dry.

Plus it made him feel warm and lightheaded, which was always a nice feeling when he was sitting at a lush restaurant with his sister and... Niall, who didn't quite have a definition.

“It's got some subtle blueberry hints, I reckon,” Niall said, holding up his wine glass and squinting his eyes as thought he was inspecting it.

“Yes, yes,” Harry said, swirling the liquid in his own glass before taking a sip. He swished it around his mouth and smacked his tongue a little bit. “Definitely got the taste of blueberry and do I detect just the most subtle bit of rosewood?”

“I think you do Harry,” Niall nodded. “Excellent observation.”

“You're both idiots,” Gemma said, picking up the bottle and inspecting the label. “There is absolutely no blueberry in this, and definitely no rosewood,” she said, giving Harry a look.

“Gemma,” Harry practically whined and he leaned into the table. “You're ruining the game.”

“Why do you have to ruin the game, Gemma?” Niall pouted, imitating Harry.

Harry leaned back in his chair and looked over at Niall. “She always does this,” he said, pointing at Gemma with his thumb. “Ruins my fun.”

Gemma shrugged and laughed slightly. “It's my job as the older sister. Sorry, Hazza.”

Harry shook his head violently in disagreement, and Niall laughed with the airy laugh that he always did. Drunk off of expensive wine was a different kind of drunk, and Harry was perfectly okay with that.

“Do you have any siblings?” Gemma asked Niall, piercing her tiramisu with her fork. 

“Yeh,” Niall said, poking at his own tiramisu with his finger and licking the sweet custard off of it. “Older brother and –“ he was cut off by the sound of 5SOS _She Looks So Perfect_ coming from the pocket of his jeans. “Shit,” he said, pulling out his iPhone.

Harry watched as Niall sighed and slid his finger across the screen to answer the call. 

He gave Harry and Gemma an apologetic look. “Hello? Yeah, hi. I'm alright.” He nodded his head and looked at the two of them, making a blabbing motion with his free hand as he presumably listened to the person on the other end talk. “In Venice, having dinner.” As if to prove that, Niall dipped his finger into his tiramisu again and licked it thoughtfully. 

As Harry watched him do that again, his breath caught in his throat. He focused on his own tiramisu as he tried his best to think unsexy thoughts.

“Yeah, I'm fine. I'm _fiiiine_ ,” Niall stressed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head as he made eye contact with Harry.

Harry just smiled, because he really didn't know what else to do.

“Took a water taxi on the Grand Canal. Walked around St. Mark's Square. It was really cool, yeah,” he paused again, only this time he started eating his dessert with his fork, which Harry was thankful for. “I'm not alone, I made friends. Sitting with them right now having dinner...” 

Harry and Gemma exchanged a look and Gemma just shrugged, pouring more wine into her glass. 

“Yes mum. I know. Yes, I promise. I will. Yes, I _know_ ,” Niall sighed, leaning his elblow onto the table and resting his head in his hand. “Alright. I'll call you soon. Yeh. Love you too,” he said pulling his phone away from his ear and placing it into his pocket. “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head with exasperation.

“You have an international calling plan?” Gemma asked him as she sipped on her wine. “Are you sure you're not a secret millionaire?” 

But Niall just laughed again and shook his head. “Nah, my mum payed for it. She worries a good bit.”

“I'll say,” Harry said with astonishment, and Gemma reached over and smacked him in the arm.

“Anyway,” Niall continued, finishing off what was left in his wine glass and promptly filling it back up. “This tiramisu is amazing,” he said, stuffing another forkful into his mouth. “Harry, what do you think?”

“I think it'd better better with blueberries,” Harry said with a smirk. Niall leaned back in his chair and laughed. Gemma rolled her eyes. 

Standard.

* * *

Gemma was snoring in her bed on the other side of the room on account of the three bottles of wine. Three, because Niall had insisted on “one for the road” after they'd finished their dessert.

Of course this had led to the three of them being giggly and stumbling all the way back to the hostel, but they made it and that was the important part.

But now Harry was finding it difficult to sleep. The reason for that probably being the blonde Irish boy who was nipping at the skin of his neck with his mouth.

“My sister is right over there, Niall,” Harry whispered, half serious, half giggling and half really turned on.

That didn't actually add up, but he was drunk so it didn't matter.

“She's asleep,” Niall murmured, caressing the skin of Harry's flat stomach underneath the covers. “Unless you really don't want to do this,” Niall said, removing his hand and rolling over to face the wall.

Harry hated that he really did want to do this. He also hated that Gemma was ten feet away from him – but she was basically dead to the world so really it was probably okay. That was likely the wine's logic, but that was probably okay too.

“I didn't say that,” Harry muttered, rolling over so he was spooning Niall and slipping his hand into the other boy's boxers.

“Shit, Harry,” Niall moaned quietly as he let Harry touch him. Harry left a trail of kisses on Niall's neck and behind his ear as he gripped his cock, stroking it much too painfully slowly for Niall's liking.

Careful to no make a lot of noise and also to ensure that the comforter was still overtop of them, Niall shifted himself so his arse was lined up with Harry's erection. He started moving against him, sighing as Harry continued to stroke him.

They established a pretty good rhythm, even if it was slow paced and quiet. Harry had to keep his face buried in Niall's neck to keep from crying out, and Niall kept his teeth firmly bit down on his lip.

It was easy when they were like this. Drunk and horny and getting each other off in the middle of the night in a strange city. It made a lot of sense and besides the obvious, that was what Harry loved about it. It was fun and Niall was fun and Harry didn't have to worry about dealing with all sorts of questions and complications like he would have to if Niall was a boyfriend he'd had at home.

Niall tensed up and couldn't help but let out a small “Mmph,” as he came. And even though he was still trying to catch his breath, he rolled over and dipped his hand into Harry's boxers to return the favour.

It didn't take long, naturally. Harry was practically almost there as soon as Niall had touched him. He had to bite the side of his cheek to keep from crying out as Niall finished him off.

They were a sweaty mess, tangled up under the covers together. Niall swallowed and looked up at Harry, his blonde hair matted down and sticking to his forehead. “Should have used my mouth,” he breathed. “Would have made less of a mess.”

Harry was still coming down from his high, but that didn't stop him from throwing his lips onto Niall's. Hearing him say that was almost enough to make him want to go for another round.

But he was also completely drained and didn't have the energy to move, let alone suck Niall's cock. That would just have to wait for another drunken night. Which Harry was certain there would be many more of as he and Niall drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Went to Toronto and I thought my hotel would have WiFi... but it did not lol

A week was spent with stops in Milan and Turin before their adventure in Italy came to an end. Before moving on to Spain, they spent a brief stint in Monaco – which Niall described as “a lovely place to retire to, let's leave.” Now they were spending some time in Barcelona.

And hot couldn't even begin to describe it. 

They arrived at the hostel in the afternoon, and after dropping off their things and taking a few minutes to freshen up, they were out on the streets walking towards their attraction for the day – Barcelona Cathedral.

“It's hot,” Harry complained, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his arm. He even considered taking his headband off, which he hardly ever did. But the less clothing he was wearing the better.

“Yes Harry,” Gemma said, looking down at her paper map. “It's almost as though it's the summer time and we're in Spain.”

“I'm just saying,” he shrugged, not interested in engaging with Gemma's sarcasm. It had already been a long day on account of the train ride, they'd hardly eaten anything and he just wanted to get to the cathedral already. That, or go back to the hostel and take a nap. But he knew Gemma would never allow for that. Niall probably wouldn't either, given how he had so much energy all the time.

But when Harry looked back at him, he noticed that even the ever excitable Niall was a big sluggish.

“It's not that bad,” Gemma said after a few minutes of walking, even though she was visibly sweating. Jeans were probably a poor choice on her part, Harry thought as he looked at her. Even though she'd probably never admit it. He was thankful that he was wearing shorts. “We'll be there soon...ish.”

Usually, Harry didn't mind Gemma's strategy of walking everywhere, but this was beginning to drain him. He fanned himself with his hand. “I'm stopping to get a drink,” he announced, ducking into a shop.

After purchasing three bottles of water and passing one to Gemma and Niall, they continued on their journey.

“That's better,” Harry said, his mood slightly lifted as he finished his water and tossed the empty bottle into a bin. “You feeling better?” he asked Gemma, looking at her.

“I'm fine,” she insisted, taking a sip of her water and continuing to walk.

Harry looked back at Niall, who still hung behind him and Gemma. He was sipping on his water and he just gave Harry a slight nod.

“You must be dying in those,” Harry said, motioning to Gemma's skinny jeans. Conversation was the only thing keeping his mind off of the heat.

Gemma shrugged. “I'm alright, really. You're just delicate.”

“I'm not delicate. You're stubborn,” Gemma said, continuing to look ahead of her.

“Better than being delicate,” Harry shrugged, actually enjoying the banter with his sister. Even if she was actually getting annoyed with him. He didn't really care – she'd get over it. She always did. If ruining his fun was her job as the older sister, being an annoyance was his job as the younger brother and –

_Thud._

Harry looked behind him as soon as he heard the noise, and his eyes widened as he saw Niall lying in a lump on the ground.

“Niall?” he asked cautiously as he turned around. Gemma followed him as he knelt down beside his friend.

“Is he alright?” Gemma asked, looking at the two of them with concern. She gingerly touched Niall's sweaty forehead. His face was a murky shade of pale – quite the opposite from the usual rosy red of his cheeks. “He's breathing. I think he's passed out.” she said.

“Niall, can you hear me?” Harry asked, frowning and looking down at him. It was hot out, but even with all his complaining Harry didn't think it was _that_ bad. Not bad enough to faint, anyway. “Maybe he ate something bad,” Harry reasoned, looking up at Gemma. “I feel okay, do you feel okay?”

Gemma nodded, her mouth pressed together and her eyebrows angled with worry. “I feel okay,” she said. 

“Mmm,” Niall started, his eyes beginning to flutter open. “What...”

“You passed out, mate,” Harry said softly, breathing a small sigh of relief as Niall looked at him. His eyes were almost grey, but at least they were open now. “Why didn't you tell us you were feeling that ill?”

“'M fine,” Niall said slowly, starting to sit up. Harry put his hand on his back to help him get into a sitting position.

“He is not fine. I think he's got heat stroke.” Gemma said, glancing at Harry. She looked around the area, her eyes settling on a cafe about thirty feet away. “Come on, let's go in there and have a drink and cool off.”

Harry just nodded. He started to stand up, but as soon as he did Niall began to fall back again. “Hey,” he said softly, taking Niall's arm and pulling it around his shoulders. “I'll help you, alright?”

Niall just nodded slowly, leaning against Harry as the three of them walked over to the cafe. As soon as they were inside the air conditioning hit them like a wall. Harry took a deep breath before leading Niall over to a table and sitting him down in a chair. 

“There,” he said. “That's better. Do you feel better? It's cooler in here.”

Niall nodded his head. The colour was starting to return to his face, but he still looked tired. He crossed his arms onto the table and rested his head face-down into them. 

“Do you want something to drink?” Harry asked, looking down at him and looking up at Gemma, who was standing right beside them. 

“Nuh,” Niall muttered, without lifting his head up.

“He's got to drink something,” Gemma said, sitting down at the table and placing her hand on the back of Niall's head, stroking his hair. “Get him a juice. And ask them for a bag of ice.”

Harry nodded and walked over to the counter. It was times like this that he was thankful for his sister's level head. In a crisis she always came off as strong and motherly whereas he never knew what to do and usually ended up making a bigger mess of things.

He picked up three bottles of apple juice and asked the man behind the counter for a small bag of ice. He glanced back at Niall and Gemma as he waited. She was still stroking his hair and Harry felt a pang of jealousy. He knew she was just trying to make him feel better – but he wanted to be the one sitting with Niall lovingly.

But it wasn't like he could do that with Gemma watching anyway. Plus it was a silly thing for him to be upset about, considering Niall looked like he felt awful even if he wouldn't fully admit it.

“Here,” Harry said, handing Gemma the ice pack and placing the juices on the table.

“Thanks,” she said gratefully, placing the ice on the back of Niall's neck. “Niall, we got you some juice. I want you to drink it, okay?”

“Mmm,” Niall said, holding out his hand. Harry placed one of the bottles of juice into it, but Niall still didn't move.

“Sweetie you'll feel better if you drink it,” Gemma said, still holding the ice pack. “I'll keep the ice on your neck, okay? Then we'll go back to the hostel.”

“Really? What about the itinerary?” Harry asked with a smirk.

“Shut up,” Gemma said, rolling her eyes. Now was not the time for Harry's little comments.

“Sorry,” Harry said, looking back down at Niall. He still hadn't moved. “Hey, drink the juice, mate,” he said, trying to force a smile onto his face even though Niall couldn't see it. 

Niall sat up slowly and Gemma slid in closer to him, keeping her promise to hold the ice pack on his neck. He twisted the cap off of the juice and placed the bottle to his lips, taking a few small sips and making eye contact with Harry. He offered him a small smile when he'd finished a third of a the bottle.

“You alright?” Harry asked, leaning into the table and looking at him. 

Niall took a deep breath and nodded his head slowly. “Yeah, I'm alright. Sorry. Was too hot I suppose.”

“Don't tell your mum,” Harry joked, cracking a smile. And Niall laughed, taking another sip of his juice. He placed his hand overtop of Gemma's and removed the ice pack from his neck, looking at her gratefully. 

“Let's go back to the hostel,” Gemma said, looking at the two of them as Niall finished off his juice. “Can you walk? Harry can carry you on his back,” she smirked.

“What?” Niall asked, giving her a look. “No, let's go to the cathedral. I'm alright now.”

“You passed out,” Gemma said seriously. “We're going back to the hostel. We can see the cathedral tomorrow.”

“No,” Niall protested. “I'm really alright, the heat was just a bit much. Let's keep going.”

Harry looked at Gemma and shrugged, but she wouldn't let up. “Let's just go back and rest for a bit. I'm tired, Harry's tired. We'll just relax and maybe go out for something to eat later when it's cooled off.”

Niall looked at the two of them, and for a moment Harry was worried that he was either going to protest again or just go off on his own. But he didn't. Instead he just sighed. “Yeah, alright. We're going out later, though,” he grinned, looking at Gemma.

“Of course,” she said with a smile.

They started walking back to the hostel, and about halfway there Niall jumped onto Harry's back. He wrapped his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck. “Gemma told me you would,” he laughed into Harry's ear.

And Harry did, carrying him all the way back to the hostel despite his shirt becoming soaked with sweat. But that was alright – as soon as they were back he flopped Niall down onto one of the beds. And Niall just cuddled up with one of the pillows, falling asleep almost instantly.

They didn't end up going out that night – neither of Harry or Gemma wanted to wake him.

“It figures,” Gemma said, shaking her head. “He never sleeps. He must be worn out. Poor thing.”

Harry looked down at Niall and smiled. Even when Niall was asleep he was adorable. Actually, he was especially adorable. His chest rose and fell with ease and the ever present smile was still slightly on his lips.

They could always go to the cathedral tomorrow. There was loads of time.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry woke up the next morning with Niall's face right in front of his own. His blue eyes were bright as ever and his smile was wide. He looked nothing like the person Harry had seen the day before. Which was a good thing – because being weak and helpless didn't suit Niall's energetic personality in the slightest.

“Morning!” he beamed, leaning down and rubbing the tip of his nose with Harry's.

“Morning,” Harry said slowly, still half waking up. “You're looking better.”

Niall sat up and nodded. He stretched his arms out and threw his head back. “Yeah, sorry. The heat got to me I suppose.”

Harry shrugged. There was no need for him to apologize, he was just happy to see that his friend was okay.

“You guys didn't wake me up last night we so could go out,” Niall said. He was still grinning, but there was a slight edge in his voice that made Harry think he was a little hurt by it.

“Yeah, we just thought we would let you sleep. You looked knackered, mate,” Harry replied, watching him carefully. 

Niall waved his hand like that didn't matter at all. “Can sleep when I'm dead. Anyway, want to go have breakfast? Is she going to wake up?” he asked, pointing over at Gemma who was still completely out and under the mess of blankets on pillows on her bed.

“No,” Harry said. “She likes her rest. Let's go eat.” But before making any sort of motion to actually leave and do that, Harry leaned in and kissed Niall softly on the lips.

Niall accepted this kiss, of course, parting his mouth and letting Harry's tongue slip inside. Harry placed his hand on the back of Niall's head, playing with his blonde hair that was starting to grow out.

“Mmm,” Niall mumbled, leaning his forehead against Harry's. “I'm really hungry.”

Harry laughed, kissing Niall quickly one more time before pulling away. “Alright, let's go.”

* * *

“Spanish I actually can speak,” Niall said, wiggling his eyebrows as he looked back at Harry. He pushed open the door to a cafe a few blocks from their hostel. “Took some classes in school.”

Indeed those classes paid off as Niall got a table and ordered for the two of them, while appearing to joke around (and possibly flirt) with their waitress.

“So,” Niall said, turning to Harry as they were handed their cups of coffee. “Cathedral take two today?”

Harry nodded. Hopefully it'd work out better this time and not be so bloody hot. “You're sure you're alright?” he asked again.

Niall squinted his eyes and nodded his head like it was nothing. “Yes, of course. Just a bit hot here, nothing to worry about. Surprised it didn't happen in India, actually. It was hotter than hell over there.”

“You went to India?” Harry perked up, keen on hearing more about it. His adventure might have just started when he'd met Niall, but it hadn't occurred to him until just then where else Niall might have gone before he'd ended up in Rome.

Niall nodded, sipping on his coffee. “Yeah, for a bit. Was really cool. They serve you chai – have you had chai before?”

Harry gave him a look and nodded his head. Of course he had.

“Right, yeah,” Niall continued. “Anyway they serve chai in these cups that they make from clay or whatever. Anyway, they serve it and you drink it and then you just toss the cup on the ground so it ends up back as part of the earth it came from. Mad, isn't it?”

“Yeah,” Harry said as he pictured Niall's smiling face wandering around India. It was sort of difficult, given he'd never been there, but Niall was in perfect focus and that was really all that mattered to him. “How long have you been travelling for, then?”

“Uh,” Niall started, but was interrupted by their churros arriving. He said a quick thank you to the waitress and then grabbed one off the plate. Taking a bite of his churro and cocking his head to the side, he continued. “Don't really know. A couple months, I think. Started out in London... saw a Chelsea match, so cool,” he sighed and his eyes lit up with excitement.

Harry nodded, picking up and biting into one of the churros as he listened to Niall talk about his trip so far. 

“Um... what else? Was over in China and Japan for a little bit. In Japan I went to this restaurant where you catch your own fish for dinner. I was sitting there with the fishing line thinking, I hope I don't catch anything too big because I won't be able to eat all of it!” he laughed, his smile lighting up his whole face and showing off his teeth. 

Harry couldn't help but grin as he listened to Niall's stories. The way that he explained them and used his hands and facial expressions made him felt like he'd been a part of all of that as well. Niall was a natural storyteller, and it was obvious he loved having an audience.

“You really are quite the world traveller, aren't you?” Harry asked with amazement as he licked the lingering sugar from the churro off of his fingertips.

Niall shrugged. “I reckon so, yeah.”

“So how much longer?” Harry asked.

Niall actually looked at him oddly for a moment. “What?”

“You know, how much longer are you going to do this for?” he clarified.

“Oh,” Niall said, relaxing a bit and leaning back in his chair. “Uh, I don't really know. Long as I can, I suppose. Gotta do this now, you know?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, that's exactly what Gemma and I thought. Might as well take our time to travel now before we're old and have jobs and kids and responsibilities.”

“Heh,” Niall said, looking out the window of the restaurant. “Yeah. Do you think Gemma will be up now? We should get going before it gets too hot.”

Harry nodded in agreement as he looked up at the clock. It was right around half past eight. “No,” he said with a slight laugh. “But we can wake her. Come on.”

* * *

Gemma actually was awake when the boys got back to the hostel, and after an hour of showering and getting ready they were on their way.

“We're stopping for water,” Gemma said as soon as they stepped outside. She ducked into a convenience store and came out a few minutes later armed with three 1-litre bottles in her arms. She passed one each to Harry and Niall. “Drink it.”

“Come on, Gemma,” Harry laughed. “It's not even that bad out today.”

“I don't care,” she said, looking at the two of them as she started walking again. “Not taking any chances.”

“Aww, Gemma,” Niall cooed, running up to her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and leaned his head on her shoulder. “My mum would be so happy to know that I have someone so nice looking out for me.”

She just laughed and patted the side of Niall's head. “You have about five seconds to get off of me.”

But Niall didn't move. Instead he looked over at Harry and wiggled his eyebrows. Harry got the hint and latched onto Gemma's other side.

“He's right you know,” Harry grinned as the three of them walked along in a chain. “Mum would be so proud to know you're looking out for me and our new friend.”

“You're both idiots,” she said, and Harry and Niall still stayed linked to her sides. And truthfully, she didn't mind so much.

* * *

“This is so cool,” Harry said as they walked through one of the chapels at the cathedral. “Look at how intricate all the designs are. And the brick? Imagine them building this without the technology we have now.”

Gemma (as usual) was taking a plethora of photos. Harry and their mum often joked that she experienced trips through the screen of the viewfinder.

That was alright with Harry, because she clearly wasn't paying attention. So as Niall marvelled at the high structure and the history of the building, he walked over and laced their hands together. Niall looked at him with surprise, but then smiled as he squeezed his hand before letting go.

“Alright, where to next?” Gemma asked, walking over to them after a moment. 

Harry looked at their small map they'd been handed on entrance. “The garden? There's a fountain out there too.”

Gemma and Niall looked at each other and nodded. “Sure,” she said. Harry led the way as the three of them walked outside.

The garden was beautiful, made entirely of stone with plants and water laid out delicately. Some of them looked to be random, others looked to be in a very deliberate location. All of it was lovely, and it was the perfect setting for Gemma to take pictures.

Niall sat down on the stone edge of one of the water pools, dipping his hands in and rubbing them on his arms. Harry sat down next to him. “Good idea,” he said, proceeding to do the same thing.

“Scooch in,” Gemma said after a couple moments. Harry and Niall looked up, not even having realised that she was pointing the camera at them. “This is lovely. What a great shot,” she said, snapping a couple of photos of them for good measure.

“You should add us on Facebook,” Harry said, turning to Niall. “Then maybe if Gemma actually posts these up you can see them.”

Niall shook his head at the same time that Gemma made a face at Harry that clearly showed her disdain for posting her photos online. “I don't do Facebook,” he said.

“I don't post them online anyway. Prints only,” she said, giving Harry a look. “But we could send you some in the post.”

Niall looked at the two of them and shifted his weight a little. “Yeah, alright,” he finally said as Harry took his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Niall to put his address into. “But don't be offended if I don't write back or anything. I'm rubbish at that sort of thing,” he laughed as he finished typing and handed the phone back to Harry.

“Yeah, don't worry about it. Me too,” Harry said with a smile, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

Gemma looked around. “I think we've seen the whole thing,” she said, looking down at the little map and listing off the areas of the cathedral. “Yeah, that's all of it. I'm starving. Food?”

Niall and Harry looked at each other and nodded in agreement. “I'm always up for food,” Niall said, standing up. Harry nodded, following him. Their second day in Barcelona was certainly shaping up to be far better than their first.


	9. Chapter 9

Spain was massive of course, and there was no way they were going to be able to see it all.

But they spent a decent amount of time in Barcelona – just under a week. They continued down to Valencia and after stopping in a few other cities they finally made their way to Madrid. To which Niall was losing his mind.

“We have to see a Real Madrid match,” he practically begged, pulling on Harry's arm as the three of them got off the train. Gemma stopped for a moment to snap a picture of the train.

“Are you some football fanboy or something?” Harry laughed, amused by Niall's sheer excitement. 

“Yes,” Niall said seriously, nodding his head and keeping his eyes wide. “We _have_ to see a match. Unless you don't support them. Who do you support, Harry? Don't tell me it's United, if it is I don't think we can be friends anymore.”

“Uh,” Harry said, looking around sort of clueless. He'd never actually given it much thought. “I don't...”

“Class!” Niall said, pulling away from Harry and clapping his hands together with glee. “You don't have an affiliation so you won't mind going to see Real Madrid. Gemma, are you in?”

She looked at Harry a little awkwardly. “It does sound like fun, but I also imagine the tickets are quite expensive.”

But Niall just waved her off and shook his head like that wasn't an issue at all. “Don't worry about it. You can't put a price on Real Madrid, it's my treat since you guys are such great companions.” He grinned, but he also quickly winked at Harry.

Which of course made Harry beam. 

When they arrived at the hostel, they promptly tossed their things in their room. They'd given up on trying to get a separate room at that point – every time they asked they were always told that it was full.

“I don't know how you managed to find rooms on your own before you were travelling with us,” Gemma said to Niall at one point.

He'd just shrugged his shoulders. “I figured it out. Sometimes I had to go to a few places but eventually I'd get a room.”

Not that Harry minded sharing the bed with Niall every night. Quite the opposite in fact. Since Gemma was such a heavy sleeper, their makeout sessions before falling asleep were becoming almost routine.

“I'm going to freshen up,” Gemma announced, taking a couple things out of her backpack and leaving the room.

Harry and Niall glanced at each other, both obviously thinking the same thing as they grinned. There wasn't much time for thought as their mouths connected, kissing each other hungrily. Niall's hands found their way up to Harry's curls, as they always tended to do. 

Niall pushed Harry down on the bed, which was a sight because he was considerably smaller than Harry was. Still, he climbed on top of Harry's larger frame. He kissed his neck for a couple of minutes, nibbling and sucking and obviously giving no regard to the possibility of leaving a mark. He moved up just slightly to whisper in Harry's ear. “Gonna suck you off.”

Harry arched his back as Niall palmed him through his shorts. His dick throbbed at how badly he wanted that. Niall started to move downwards, and somehow Harry's brain started working again.

“Ugh,” he said, forcing the words out simply because he knew he had to. “Can't, Gemma's gonna be back any minute.”

Niall lifted Harry's shirt up and placed a few kisses on his skin before sighing and pulling away. He sat cross-legged on the floor and looked up at Harry. “Yeh,” he nodded. “Could just tell her about us,” he shrugged after a moment. “Might make all this easier.”

Harry didn't want to dig into what “us,” meant. Instead he just shook his head. He wasn't ready to tell her yet. Especially not while they were travelling together and everything was going so well. Why drop a bomb and risk destroying something so beautiful? “Not ready yet,” he muttered. Because even with all of the other stuff, how was he supposed to explain whatever was going on with Niall to his sister? “Besides, I'm sure even if she knew she wouldn't want to walk in to see your mouth full of my prick.”

Niall had to laugh at that. “Alright,” he said with his signature wide smile, climbing back on top of Harry.

They barely had a chance to start kissing again before the door opened up. Niall promptly jumped off of Harry, leaving him standing with and awkward gin on his face and Harry laying on the bed obviously out of breath.

“Gemma!” Harry exclaimed, rolling onto his stomach and stretching out his arms.

She looked at the two of them oddly. “Hi...” she said, raising her eyebrow. “Are you two ready to go then?”

They both nodded eagerly, Niall pulling Harry off the bed. 

“Prado Museum it is then!” Gemma said excitedly, pulling out her map as the three of them left the room.

“And on the way we'll check out Santiago Bernabéu?” Niall asked as he placed his hand on Harry's arm and leaned in close to Gemma.

She laughed. “If it's on the way, sure.”

“It is,” Niall said with certainty. “I already checked.”

* * *

Their visit to the football grounds paid off, because two days later they were sitting in the stands waiting for the match to begin.

Niall was unable to sit still – he was bouncing in his seat and practically giddy. Their seats weren't particularly great – way up high in the stands. But they were there and that was all that mattered to him.

“Sick,” he said as the players started to run out onto the pitch. “Absolutely mad. Look, there's Ronaldo! Oh my God.”

Gemma and Harry exchanged a look and snorted. Even though Harry had to admit that Niall's enthusiasm was unbelievably cute.

He really wanted to lean over and kiss him. Maybe if Gemma wasn't paying attention... but she was. There was no way she wouldn't be. He'd have to wait until later to ravish the blonde.

Admittedly, Harry had never been into football. Sure, he'd kicked a ball around with his mates when he was young. But he'd never understood the fascination with the premiere league or any of the other championship teams.

Although there was something to be said for watching the match in the stands rather than at home. The atmosphere in Santiago Bernabéu was unlike anything he'd ever seen before. He could actually feel the stress of the fans when the team missed a shot on goal in a collective sigh of disappointment that probably could have been heard outside the stadium.

And when they scored (which was three times over the course of the ninety two minutes of play) it was absolute madness. Everyone jumped out of their seat at once and cheered, throwing their hands up to the sky. Harry hadn't even seen the ball go in, he just knew it had judging by the reaction.

Plus he was sitting beside Niall who made the whole experience ten times better just by how engrossed he was in it. “Get at them!” he shouted on numerous occasions. For a good portion of the match he was sitting on the edge of his seat with his hands on his head, looking as though he was seconds away from pulling his hair out.

“Did you see that?” Niall exclaimed, clutching onto Harry's arm at one point. “Ah man,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “COME ON!” he shouted. “Ah fuck.”

Harry didn't even really know what had gone on. He was mostly just watching Niall with a smile on his face. 

“I've never seen anyone so excited about anything as he is about football,” Gemma leaned over and whispered to Harry at one point, glancing past him and looking at Niall. Niall, who didn't even notice he was being watched as he was too busy being outraged by whatever was happening on the pitch.

But it did all work out. Real Madrid won and after the match Niall had dragged (perhaps not dragged, as there hadn't been much convincing involved) Harry and Gemma to a nearby bar for celebratory pints.

“Real Madrid, ale ale!” they sang, raising their glasses high along with the rest of the people in the crowded pub. Niall had sat down on the one bar stool they had managed to find, with Harry and Gemma standing right next to him. 

“What a match,” Niall whistled as he downed his pint. “Did you two enjoy it?”

Gemma nodded her head, always excited to try out something new and be a part of a crowd experience. Harry nodded too. He supposed it had been cool to see. That, and Niall's excitement made it worth it.

“Not every day you get to spend the evening with your two best mates in a pub after witnessing a massive win for Real, that's for sure!” he grinned, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist and intentionally grinning as big as he could.

He obviously had a buzz going, and Harry did too because he didn't even budge. Instead he just ruffled Niall's hair with his hand. Gemma, of course, never missed an opportunity for a picture so she snapped one quickly before the two of them pulled away in favour of having another pint.

“Who do you support then?” Gemma asked once they were well into another round. “Is Real Madrid your favourite team?”

Niall shook his head. “Nah,” he said. “I like 'em enough, but Derby County's my favourite.”

“I've never heard of them,” Harry said, looking at Gemma. 

She nodded her head. “Yeah, they're not too far from where we live. Come on Hazza!”

Harry shrugged sheepishly and Niall laughed. 

“Well if you ever come out to England to visit we'll have to go to a match,” Gemma said, nudging Harry.

“Right, yeah, of course!” Harry grinned.

Niall just took a sip of his beer and didn't say anything for a moment, leaning his head against Harry. “Yeah,” he said, looking at Gemma and then up at Harry with a soft smile. “One day.”

Another few rounds of pints and they were on their way back to the hostel. Gemma didn't even bother to take her shoes off as she fell into bed. Harry and Niall collapsed into a fit of giggles that eventually lead to the two of them breathing heavily under the blankets.

“Harry,” Niall said softly, resting his head on Harry's chest. “Why does Gemma call you Hazza?”

“What?” Harry almost laughed, because that was probably the most bizarre thing Niall could have asked him at the moment. He was obviously still a bit drunk.

“She calls you that all the time.”

Harry thought about it. He didn't actually know where that had come from, she'd just called him that his whole life. Probably even before he could remember her doing it. “I don't know, she just always has. I reckon she always will.”

“Hmmm,” Niall sighed, rolling onto him a little bit more and looking into his eyes.

Harry searched Niall's face. He had a hard time reading him. His bright blue eyes were dropping, looking tired, but also sort of contemplative. It was strange, because he didn't think he'd ever seen him look like that. Aside from when he'd passed out, but that hadn't exactly been his fault.

But Niall didn't say anything. Instead he just kissed Harry lightly on the mouth and laid back down. “Night,” he said quietly.

“Night,” Harry repeated, closing his eyes and wrapping his arm around this boy that he was undoubtedly falling in love with. Even if he hadn't quite realised it yet.


	10. Chapter 10

From Madrid to Cordoba and over to Lisbon, Gemma, Harry and Niall were inseparable. Until Niall couldn't get on their sold out flight to Stockholm.

Harry shifted in his uncomfortable seat. He tapped his feet and patted his thighs with his hands.

“Relax,” Gemma muttered, turning her head towards him. She'd obviously been trying to sleep.

“I'm nervous,” Harry said, looking at her. He couldn't really care less if she was trying to sleep. She slept enough as it was. 

“We literally fly all the time,” Gemma muttered, not opening her eyes as she continued to lean her head against against the headrest.

“Not about that,” Harry said, rubbing his hands together and glancing around. He didn't know what he was looking for exactly, he was just beginning to feel suffocated on the long flight. “Niall.”

Gemma opened her eyes and gave him a look. A look that told Harry she thought he was being completely insane. “He's fine, Hazza.”

“What if he doesn't get on the next flight?” he asked, even though he knew it was irrational. He'd been there when Niall had bought the ticket. He'd shrugged, said “oh well,” when their flight was sold out and just bought a ticket for the next one, which took off only two hours later.

“You watched him buy the ticket,” Gemma replied, her eyes narrow and drooping.

“What if he doesn't find the hostel?” Harry asked, biting his lip. He wasn't exactly worried that Niall would get lost and not find his way. He just didn't like being separated from him. The possibility (however small it was) that he wouldn't see Niall again was driving him insane.

Gemma rolled her eyes. “He found himself a hostel in Rome just fine. Really Harry, he can hold his own. And if you're really that worried, you have his cell phone number. In case you want to turn on roaming when we land and text him.”

“Won't be able to get a hold of him,” Harry muttered, looking at his phone. It was useless at the moment anyway, given they were on the aeroplane and all. “He'll be on a plane.”

“There you go,” Gemma said, closing her eyes again. “Deep down you know he'll get on the plane. You just said it.”

“Yeah,” Harry replied, looking at her. He supposed she was right. That was the annoying thing about having an older sister. She was always right.

Eventually they landed, and after waiting for what seemed like an eternity at baggage claim they were on their way.

“Two,” Gemma said once they got to the hostel. “Gemma and Harry Styles. And if we could add someone else to our room, he'll be along in a bit. Niall Horan.”

“Hmmm,” the owner said to them as she flipped through her book. “We actually do have an extra room available if you're interested.”

“No,” Harry started, practically pushing himself past Gemma. After being separated from Niall for the entire day he wasn't about to let him be off in his own room.

“Actually,” Gemma said slowly, glancing back at Harry with an almost annoyed expression on her face. “That'd be lovely. I've been rooming with these boys the whole trip and would love a couple nights on my own.”

Harry raised his eyebrow as he looked down at her. 

She glanced up at him. “That's alright with you? Sharing with Niall?”

Harry had to contain himself. Of course it was alright! It was better than alright even. Without Gemma in the room he and Niall would be free to go a lot further than just secretly making out underneath the covers.

“Yeah,” he said with a nod, trying not to look too giddy. “Yeah, that's fine.”

It was quite a boring couple of hours, which meant that it was agonizing for Harry. He and Gemma separated off into their own rooms for a few minutes to freshen up, then they went off for a quick stroll in search of food.

The entire time Harry's mind was on Niall. He pictured him on the plane, flipping through the in flight entertainment system. He wondered what sort of show or movie his friend would pick. He imagined that Niall would get bored with that sort of thing and just stare out the window and watch the clouds go by.

He really couldn't picture Niall being content with just sitting on the plane. He was sure he was probably sitting in the sky, restless as hell, waiting to arrive in Stockholm and continue their adventure.

He was right. After going to find food, Harry and Gemma just hung around in the common area waiting for Niall to arrive. And eventually he did, strolling in with with Ray-Bans and a grin on his face.

“That was a long flight,” were the first words out of his mouth. “Could not wait to get off of that aeroplane. Where's our room then?”

“Your room is up the stairs and to the left. 1508,” Gemma said to him.

Niall raised his eyebrow and looked at Harry. “What's she on about?”

“They had an extra room,” Harry said slowly, pressing his lips together and giving Niall a look. “So Gemma decided she wanted to sleep on her own.”

“Sick of boys,” she said, looking at both of them. 

“Huh,” Niall said, looking over at Harry for a split second. They probably would have made some kind of suggestive eye contact if not for Niall's dark sunglasses. Then the grin returned to his face. “I don't think I'll ever get sick of boys.”

Harry laughed a little bit. He was about to nod in agreement before his sister's presence stopped him. “I'll show him where it is,” he said quickly instead, jumping up.

And Gemma just nodded as the two of them rushed to their room.

“Mmph,” Niall gasped as Harry kissed him forcefully once they were inside. “Been waiting all day for that.”

“I'll say,” Harry said, moving his lips over to Niall's neck and kissing the soft skin of it. “And later... it's just us two.”

“Yeah,” Niall nearly moaned as Harry pressed his body against his. “Yeah... yeah.”

Harry smiled, kissing Niall softly before patting his messy blonde hair. “But first... Vasa Museum.”

Niall nodded his head slowly, not taking his eyes off Harry as he smiled.

* * *

“The 64-gun warship Vasa sank on her maiden voyage in 1628,” Harry read from a pamphlet as they stood in the main hall of the musem. “It is the only almost fully-intact 17th century warship in the world.”

“That's cool,” Niall said, glancing around. “How long are we staying here?”

Gemma gave him an unimpressed look before proceeding to capture the preserved shipwreck on film.

Harry just smirked at Niall and shook his head. “The ship was salvaged in 1961,” he continued. “And has been seen by over 29 million visitors since then.”

“That is so cool,” Gemma said, looking upwards at the massive hull of the ship.

“They should probably test these ships better before putting them out there,” Niall reasoned, shrugging his shoulders. 

Harry laughed. “What?”

“You know, sinking on the maiden voyage. This one – what's it called?” he asked, leaning in and reading the information board. “Vasa. The Titanic.”

“This one sank because it was top heavy,” Gemma said, looking back at him. “Titanic sank because it hit an iceberg and a whole lot of other factors. That one was a comedy of errors, really.”

Harry wrinkled his nose. “I wouldn't call Titanic a comedy,” he said, looking at Niall, who dramatically shook his head and put an overly serious expression on his face.

“It's an expression, you twit.”

Niall just laughed again. “Either way, Gem, testing the boat would really solve that. Then they would have figured out that this one was top heavy... and that maybe Titanic couldn't withstand the impact of an iceberg.”

“Right,” Gemma said sarcastically. “Because they would have decided to ram the Titanic into an iceberg as a test. Just in case. I'm sure they already knew that.”

“Actually,” Harry cut in, smirking just a little bit. “They think that if Titanic hit the iceberg head-on that it wouldn't have sunk.”

Niall just pointed at Harry and nodded his head in approval.

At a loss for a witty comeback to their antics, Gemma just snapped a picture of their smug faces. “I'll call this one 'Niall and Harry solve maritime disasters.'”

* * *

Having their own room was probably one of the best things that had happened to Harry and Niall on the trip thus far. That was the exact thought running through Harry's mind as his hands were on Niall's hips and his mouth was around his cock.

“Ugh,” Niall moaned, gripping the sheets underneath him and breathing heavily as Harry sucked him off. 

Harry was going crazy. He'd been going crazy the entire day, really. The museum had been fun, sure. And dinner was alright too, but their lazy walk back to the hostel had been almost torturous, because Harry knew what was coming and he couldn't fucking wait.

“Fuck me, Harry,” Niall panted, sitting up a bit. “I can't take it anymore.”

Harry swirled his tongue around the tip of Niall's cock before pulling away. “Yeah?” he asked, his voice low. He crawled up onto the bed to lay beside Niall. “You sure you're ready?”

“Mmm,” Niall affirmed, reaching downwards and pushing two of his fingers inside himself. Harry nibbled at Niall's neck while he worked himself, gasping when he touched his prostate. Harry slid his hand down Niall's chest and over his stomach, but Niall gently pushed his hand away.

“Don't,” he breathed. “Gonna come if you do that,” he swallowed, his blue eyes only half open as they locked with Harry's green ones.

Harry nodded, slinking off of the bed and heading over to Niall's backpack.

Niall turned his head to the side, looking over at Harry. “Wait,” he said, taking a deep breath and pulling his hand out of himself. “I'll get it.”

He hopped off the bed and dug through his bag while Harry just watched him, admiring his slick naked body. Niall tossed a condom and the bottle of lube on the bed before quickly zipping his bag back up.

“I couldv'e...” Harry started, but was shut up with Niall's mouth on his own.

“Come on,” Niall said, laying down on the bed. He arched his back and spread his legs, inviting Harry in. And Harry knelt in between them, ripping open the condom package like he'd expertly done this a million times before.

He hadn't really, but it wasn't like he was awkwardly fumbling his way through a first time either. 

He probably used too much lube on the condom, but that didn't really matter. He leaned down, sliding the head of his cock into Niall's hole.

Niall sucked in a sharp breath.

“You want me to stop?” Harry asked. 

Niall shook his head violently.

So Harry slid the rest of his shaft inside, leaning down to kiss Niall on the mouth. Niall thrusted his hips upwards, indicating that it was okay for Harry to move.

So he did, slow at first. Niall was sweaty and writhing underneath him, making small noises that sent a shock down Harry's spine every time he heard them. Suffice to say, Niall was driving him absolutely crazy. He had to bite down on his lip as he thrusted in and out of him to keep from finishing too early.

“Harry,” Niall moaned, gripping his cock and stroking himself. “Yeah...”

The sheets were a tangled up mess underneath them, and one of the pillows ended up on the floor as a result of their movements. Neither of them noticed or cared – the only thing Harry could see was Niall and the way the streetlights from outside were softly illuminating his skin.

“Close,” Niall moaned, quickening the speed of his hand. 

Harry fucked him harder, digging his fingertips into Niall's shoulders. He'd given up on holding out at that point.

“Gonna come,” Niall breathed, his mouth hanging open. “Ah...”

He tensed around Harry, obviously finishing and making a mess all over his hand and stomach.

“Mmph,” Harry moaned, leaning down against Niall and sucking on his earlobe as he kept moving against him. “Niall...”

His toes curled as he came, every part of his body shaking. Sweat dripped from his forehead as he caught his breath, looking down at the perfect Irish boy underneath him.

Niall was still catching his breath too. In fact, he was probably breathing harder than Harry was. Neither of them felt the need to say anything. Harry just tossed the condom in the bin near the bed and kissed Niall softly on the mouth before snuggling up to him and falling asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

For three days Harry and Niall spent the nights as they did the first one. In a panting, sweaty mess that left them satisfied and smiling as they fell asleep in each other's arms.

On their last morning in Stockholm, Harry woke up slightly earlier than normal. He rolled over to cuddle up next to Niall (because they usually ended up apart in the night) but Niall was nowhere to be found.

Harry opened his eyes slightly, looking over to see Niall sitting cross-legged on the other bed (which had gotten no use), staring out the window.

“What're you doing?” Harry mumbled, still half asleep.

“Watching the sun come up,” Niall said slowly, only looking back at Harry for a moment before turning his gaze back to the window. He gently patted the empty spot on the bed next to him and though Harry was tired, he shuffled out of bed and joined Niall, leaning his head on his shoulder.

“It's beautiful, isn't it?” Niall said softly as the dark sky slowly changed into a brighter one, the sun poking through over the horizon.

“Hmmm,” was all Harry said, nodding a little bit. Niall was being strangely contemplative this morning. 

“I love it a lot, this world,” Niall nearly whispered after a few minutes had passed and the sun was shining brighter with streams of light starting to touch more and more.

Harry craned his neck upwards, lifting his head slightly of Niall's shoulder. He rubbed his nose against his cheek before kissing it softly.

Niall widened the already present soft smile on his face. He reached his hand upwards and stroked Harry's cheek and he kept watching.

Harry's chest felt warm as he sat there with Niall in silence, both of them content to just be with each other and watch one of the world's purest sights. It was strange because it happened every day and it often went unnoticed. 

It wasn't that he didn't think Niall had the capacity to appreciate the simple things in life. It seemed that Niall appreciated everything about life. But he wasn't one to stay quiet and just enjoy things for what they were, he was always making some funny quip in hopes of having a laugh. It was one of Niall's best qualities, which was why this was so strange and interesting to Harry.

They stayed that way until the sun was fully up, illuminating the sky and starting the day fresh.

“Suppose we should get moving,” Harry said with a bit of regret in his voice as he shuffled away from Niall. “Gotta get on our way to the train.”

Niall nodded, staring out the window for a couple more seconds before turning to look at Harry. “Yeh,” he said, kissing him tenderly and rubbing his nose against Harry's. “Sounds good.”

* * *

They made it to Coppenhagen in the late afternoon that day. Though they'd had the chance to sleep on the train, none of them were particularly feeling up to attempting and sightseeing until the next day. So, they went out for some food and ended up back in the hostel.

The three of them spent a good bit of time just hanging out in the common area, which was fairly nice. It was similar to the one they'd found in Rome. They'd watched some TV and after trading off for a few rounds of FIFA (to which Harry won none, Niall won three and Gemma won one) Gemma declared she was tired and headed off to their room.

“So what now?” Niall asked, glancing around the rest of the common area. Harry just shrugged, looking around as well. There was a large piano off by the wall, and a guitar leaning against it.

“Sick,” Niall said as he walked over and touched it, lightly touching the strings with his fingers.

“Do you play?” Harry asked, cocking his head to the side.

Niall nodded, still looking at it. “Yeah,” he said, pursing his lips together. “Yeah, I do a bit.”

“Will you play something for me?” he asked.

Niall grinned and nodded his head as he picked up the guitar. He looked around the common area, unsure if he actually wanted to sit down in there. Instead, he opted to go outside so the noise wouldn't disturb anyone who was trying to sleep. “Come on,” he said, walking towards the back doors.

There wasn't much outside. Just a small stone patio and a few plants. But that was alright. Niall sat down on the stone ledge, looking down at the guitar as he presumably figured out what to play. Harry sat down beside him, watching intently.

Finally Niall decided, strumming an a minor chord slowly, followed by F and C before picking up his pace a bit. “You know _Wake Me Up_?” he asked, looking at Harry. “Aloe Blacc?”

Harry nodded. He did.

Niall smiled and kept playing, strumming almost expertly. If he was fumbling at all, Harry didn't really notice. Niall looked over at Harry after a few moments, shrugging one of his shoulders and urging Harry to sing.

“ _Feelin' my way through the darkness,_ ” Harry sang, his voice a bit shaky at first but gaining more confidence. It wasn't like he didn't know how to sing. He did, and he felt he was actually pretty good at it. “ _Guided by a beatin' heart. I can't tell where the journey will end, but I know where to start._ ”

Niall continued strumming the chords slowly as Harry sang, trying to match the beat of the song by tapping his foot.

“ _They tell me I'm too young to understand, they say I'm caught up in a dream. Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes, well that's fine by me._ ” Harry looked over at Niall, whose forehead was dipped in concentration, tongue bitten between his teeth as he played the chords.

It was hard for Harry to tear his eyes away. Niall looked like a right rockstar sitting there with the guitar perfectly in his lap. Harry was sure that if Niall wanted to, he'd be able to sell millions of records.

“ _So wake me up when it's all over,_ ” he continued to sing, a smile spreading across his face as Niall looked up at him for a moment. “ _When I'm wiser and I'm older. All this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost_.”

Niall kept strumming, still tapping his foot and bopping his head to the beat. 

“Can you sing?” Harry asked him, unable to get this image of Niall the rockstar out of his head.

Niall shrugged as he kept playing. “ _I tried carrying the weight of the world, but I only have two hands,_ ” he looked at Harry, shoulders shrugging a bit. But Harry nodded at him to keep going. Niall's voice wasn't perfect or smooth, but it fit nicely with the song. “ _Hope I get the chance to travel the world, but I don't have any plans._ ”

Niall kept playing and singing and Harry kept watching him. He didn't miss how Niall's voice slightly cracked when he sang the next line. “ _Wish that I could stay forever this young, not afraid to close my eyes. Life's a game made for everyone, and love is the prize._ ”

Niall looked up at Harry quickly, nodding his head as if he was urging Harry to sing.

Harry did, and Niall sang with him. “ _So wake me up when it's all over, when I'm wiser and I'm older,_ ” they sang. Harry's strong voice overpowered Niall's more timid one, but that was alright. “ _All this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost._ ”

They kept singing, Niall playing the chords a bit faster as they approached the end. Harry threw his head back as he let himself get immersed in the song. “ _So wake me up when it's all over, when I'm wiser and I'm older. All this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost._ ”

Niall slowed it down a bit, tapping his foot only once more. He was biting his bottom lip as he looked down at the ground. “ _So wake me up when it's all over,_ ” Harry sang slower and softer this time, without Niall's voice complimenting his own. “ _When I'm wiser and I'm older, all this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost..._ ”

Harry watched Niall as he gently laid the guitar flat in his lap. Niall swallowed and rubbed his eyes with this thumb and forefinger, keeping his head firmly placed downwards.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows in concern, because he thought they were just having a bit of fun. He had no idea why Niall would be reacting this way and it confused and worried him. “Niall,” he started, reaching over to touch him.

But Niall just looked up and smiled. “Heh,” he laughed a bit. “Love that song,” he said, standing up and patting Harry on the shoulder. “I'm knackered, off to bed for me then.”

Harry just sat there for a moment and watched him go, trying to process what had just happened. “Right,” he said. “Goodnight.”


	12. Chapter 12

The train ride from Coppenhagen to Hamburg was one of the more scenic journeys they'd taken. From Rodby to Puttgarten, the train had to be docked onto a ferry. 

Which of course meant that they had to get off of it and walk onto the ferry as the train docked.

Harry blinked his eyes a few times. They'd left early, and he'd slept most of the way. Niall obviously had as well, because he was still curled up in his seat with his head against the window even though people were bustling about all around him.

Gemma gathered her things as she stood up to stretch and eventually leave the train. She glanced over at Harry, who shrugged and shook Niall's shoulder.

“Mmph,” Niall muttered, but didn't move.

“Hey,” Harry said with a slight laugh. “The train's docking onto a ferry. We need to get off.”

Niall stayed there for a couple more moments and Harry contemplated shaking him again. But right before he did, Niall stirred and lazily opened his eyes. “Yeah,” he yawned, stretching his arms. “Alright.”

They picked up their carry on items, following the massive crowd of people off of the train and onto the ferry. Niall shuffled along behind Harry and Gemma, his usual excitement forgotten.

“Come on, mate,” Harry encouraged him. “Isn't this cool?”

Niall smiled a little as he looked at Harry. Then he looked up at the ferry. “Yeah,” he said simply.

Gemma looked back at him as they stepped onto the boat. “Tired, Niall?”

Niall just shrugged his shoulders. But then he yawned and nodded his head in defeat. 

Gemma just laughed. Harry looked over at her and contemplated for a minute, but then threw his arm around Niall. “You can sleep when we get back onto the train,” he said with a grin. “I mean look at this thing.”

It was a pretty cool setup, with the train vertically docking. The boat wasn't small by any means, there was a deck where they could sit outside and an assortment of restaurants for lunch. It wasn't set to be an especially long journey, so Harry, Gemma and Niall settled on lunch.

And after they ordered, Niall rested his head on Harry's shoulder. To which Harry just gave Gemma a look.

“I suppose that's what happens when you never sleep,” she laughed, taking a sip of her water and tossing the slice of lemon on the table.

Harry grabbed the lemon and squeezed it into his own water, which was already clouded from the lemon he'd been given. “You should talk, you sleep too much,” he teased.

“It's important,” she reasoned, pulling an ice cube into her mouth and chewing on it. “This trip has been so busy.”

“Mmm,” Niall agreed, sitting up and widening his eyes. He studied his water for a second, before deciding to squeeze the lemon wedge into it and the subsequently dropping the rest of it in. “It has.” 

He took a long sip and looked at Harry and Gemma for a moment before setting the glass back down and licking his lips. “So what are we doing in Hamburg?” he asked.

“Um,” Harry said, dumbfounded. He looked at Gemma and she rolled her eyes. 

“Church St. Michaelis,” she started, looking at both of them. “Hamburg Harbour, Emigration Museum Ballinstadt, Ohlsdorf Cemetery,” she said, giving Harry a look. “How could you forget about that? You're the one who put that one on the list.”

Harry nodded his head along with all of these attractions, shrugging his shoulders at Gemma's remark. He'd put a lot of things that looked cool on the list. 

Niall glanced at Harry, then over at Gemma. His face was almost white. “I don't want to go to the cemetery,” he said, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of them.

“What?” Harry asked, giving Gemma a look. Niall had literally been up for everything else that they'd done on the trip thus far. “That's going to be such a historical site. And it's not like a real cemetery,” Harry stressed, again looking at Gemma. “It's more of a park.”

“With dead people in it,” Niall stated. His usual smirk was nowhere to be found as he stared at Harry.

“Right...” Harry said slowly, looking at Gemma with confusion. “But it's to honour people who died in World War II. At least, that's part of it. Like I said, historical site.”

Niall chewed at his bottom lip, looking Harry straight in the face. He took a deep breath and averted his gaze to Gemma. Both of them were watching him intently of course, and he took another deep breath “I just -”

“Here we are,” their waiter interrupted them, placing their plates of food in front of them. “Kale and avocado salad for the lady, and chicken breast and seasoned chips for each of you.”

Gemma sighed happily, looking up at the waiter. “Thank you,” she said gratefully, picking up her fork. “Famished.”

Niall had stuffed about four chips into his face, but he nodded eagerly. “Yeah,” he said, even though the word was hard to understand due to his full mouth.

Harry, on the other hand, picked up one chip and took a small bite out of it. He watched Niall as he dug into his food like he hadn't eaten a meal in years. Maybe it was the train ride, and maybe it was the ferry, but something definitely seemed off.

* * *

They arrived in Hamburg in the late afternoon, and once again they were cramped into a room in the hostel that was really only meant for two people.

Not that Harry or Niall minded really, but Gemma was clearly beginning to get annoyed with spending her days in close proximity to boys.

“The two of you are literally so messy,” she said as she sat down on her bed and kicked her shoes off. “How do you ever find anything in that bag of yours?” she motioned towards Niall, who was presently digging through his backpack in search of a snapback.

Niall shrugged, pulling the treasured item out of the depths and placing it on his head. “Pretty easily,” he grinned, adjusting the brim. 

“Right,” she said, looking down at the mess he'd created in his search.

“Don't listen to her,” Harry laughed from his position on what was to be his and Niall's bed. “She's just hyper organized.”

“Compared to you two, yes,” Gemma nodded with a slight smile, obviously proud of her skills. “But someone's got to be. Need I remind you that the two of you slept in this morning and we almost missed the train?”

“Up late,” Niall shrugged again sitting down on the bed and giving Harry the quickest of looks.

Harry had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from grinning. It only half worked.

Gemma raised her eyebrows as she looked at the two of them. “Pub?” she asked.

Niall and Harry exchanged a look. Obviously.

* * *

The pub turned out to be an excellent idea, of course. For what seemed like the thousandth time that trip, the three of them were laughing in a booth that was far too small over a bunch of empty pint glasses.

“Alright, alright,” Gemma laughed, holding her hand up. “Favourite place on the trip so far and go,” she said, pointing at Harry first.

“Stockholm,” he said without missing a beat. Then he reached downwards and patted Niall's thigh underneath the table.

“Really?” Gemma asked, cocking her head to the side. “You were both so bored at the museum.”

“Had our own room,” Niall grinned. His wide smile lit up his whole face as he defended Harry's choice. “Escaped the hyper organization for a few nights.”

Gemma smacked the table with laughter. “Right,” she said, shaking her head. “Right, I suppose that _was_ the best part of Stockholm,” she said, raising her eyebrows. “So was it your favourite too, then?”

“No,” Niall shook his head. “Rome,” he said, taking a swig of his half-finished pint.

“Rome?” Harry asked, turning his head to look at Niall.

Niall nodded his head and looked at Harry and Gemma. “It's where I met the two of you.”

This was probably as good an excuse as any to hug Niall in front of Gemma without her thinking it was weird, and Harry seized the opportunity. He wrapped his arms around Niall and leaned his head on his shoulder. “Awwww...” he cooed for dramatic effect.

“Oh my god,” Gemma said leaning into the table to try and hug him as well. She failed of course, given that there was a table in between her and them. But that didn't stop her from placing her hands on Harry's arms. “You're so sweet.”

Niall just laughed. He was unable to move, Harry was wrapped around him so tightly. Eventually he did let go though, pulling away and giving Niall a soft smile.

Niall smiled back at him. He was almost blushing before he returned to his pint. 

“Why don't you want to go to the cemetery?” Harry blurted out, because he was drunk and it had literally been eating at him all day. 

“Oh my god, Hazza,” Gemma said, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her pint. 

“Uh,” Niall said, picking up a napkin off the table and twisting it in his hands. “I just don't like them. They're morbid is all. Walking around when there's a bunch of dead people underneath you.”

Harry pressed his lips together as he studied Niall. Niall wouldn't make eye contact with him, and instead looked much more interested in the napkin in his hands. After a couple of seconds of twisting it up so it no longer resembled any sort of paper, he tossed it on the table and downed a large sip of his pint. 

“I don't know,” he laughed, licking his lips. “They're just weird. I think it's weird.”

Gemma shrugged her shoulders. “I suppose they are a bit weird.”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, nodding his head slowly as he continued to look at Niall. “Weird.”


	13. Chapter 13

Harry and Gemma were both awake before Niall on their last full day in Hamburg, which they attributed to pints from the night before. Standard, as had become the theme of their time in Germany. The theme of their entire trip, really.

Harry glanced down at him, sleeping with his mouth hanging half open as he clutched the pillow close to his face. He sighed and looked at Gemma, who was going over their plans for the day.

“Take the cemetery off the list,” Harry said quickly, looking at his sister.

Gemma raised her eyebrows. She nodded towards Niall, as if to ask if he was the reason Harry didn't want to go there anymore.

Harry nodded. Of course it was. “He doesn't want to go there, Gemma.”

“He was just a bit weirded out. He hasn't said anything about it since then,” she persisted, waving her hand in the air. “He'll be fine.”

But Harry shook his head slowly and looked back down at Niall. He'd literally been up for anything else he and Gemma had outlined in their plans. If Niall said he didn't want to do this, he must have felt strongly about it. And Harry wasn't about to force him to do anything that made him uncomfortable.

“I'm sure we can find something else to do,” Harry said easily. It wasn't like it would be hard, there were dozens of pamphlets downstairs on things to do in the city.

Gemma eyed Harry for a moment, but eventually sighed and gave in. “Alright,” she said. “But you're the one who's going to find something else for us to do. And wake him up, will you?” she asked, standing up and grabbing her bag of toiletries. “I'm going to have a shower.”

Harry knelt down beside the bed once Gemma was gone. He leaned over and kissed Niall on the forehead. Niall's eyelids fluttered a bit, but he didn't wake up.

“Hey,” Harry said softly. “Time to get up,”

“Mmm,” was all Niall said, scrunching his eyes closed even tighter. 

Harry just chuckled a little bit, tangling in fingers in Niall's soft blonde hair. It was starting to grow out more into his natural brown colour, and Harry couldn't decide which he liked better honestly. The brown was cuter, but the blonde actually suited his sunny personality a lot more.

“What happened to 'I've got no time for sleep?'” he mimicked his Irish accent, still looking down at him with a smile.

At that, Niall opened his eyes. He looked at Harry lazily before giving into the day and sitting up. “Yeh,” he said. “Alright.”

Niall leaned down and kissed Harry on the mouth. Harry moved his hands back into Niall's hair, lacing his fingers between the longer bits on top.

“Gemma's already in the shower,” Harry said when they pulled away. “You alright, mate? You've been sleeping in a lot this trip.”

Niall shrugged. “Pints,” he said simply. 

Harry just laughed. 

“What're we doing today, then?” Niall asked, yawning a little bit and rubbing his eyes.

“Burg. Burg. Gallerie,” Harry said quickly. “It's an art gallery. It's long, it'll take the whole day.”

Niall was silent for a moment as he studied Harry. “That's it?”

“That's it,” Harry affirmed, watching carefully for Niall's reaction. 

“Alright, I suppose I'll go get ready then,” he said, giving Harry a final peck on the mouth before hopping off the bed.

Harry couldn't be sure and perhaps he was over analyzing things, but he thought he'd seen Niall breathe a sigh of relief.

* * *

The art gallery was indeed long. But that didn't mean they were bored. Not in the least.

Harry appreciated art. He'd always appreciated art – so as they walked through the halls he would stop at a particular painting, study it, make his own conclusions and then read the blurb on the side to see what the artist was thinking.

Niall, on the other hand, did not appreciate art. This was evidenced by his constant commentary on the pieces.

“This isn't art,” Niall said of one particular painting. It was a large canvas of eight vertical lines all parallel to each other, with the paint thick at the top and grainy and dried out by the time it reached the end. “I could do this.”

Gemma snorted, trying not to laugh as she looked at Harry.

“It's a commentary,” Harry explained, looking at Niall with a smirk. They'd been through this on dozens of other pieces already.

“On what?” Niall asked, fully aware he was just being a bother. “How a paintbrush works?”

Gemma actually had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing.

“On our society,” Harry stressed. “About how we're so keen in the beginning, but look how quickly we run out of steam if we go too hard,” he said, pointing at the middle of the line where the paint very quickly began to run out.

“Mhmmm,” Niall replied, looking at the blurb beside the painting. “The artist says his process was to dip the brush into the paint, place the brush at the top of the canvas and draw a line until the paint ran out. Then, he repeated the process. Again, I could do that.”

Harry shrugged as they moved on to the next piece. “I think a big part of art isn't being able to create something incredible visually, it's being able to see something extraordinary in something simple.”

Niall smirked. “So being pretentious then?”

Harry couldn't help but laugh at that, which set Gemma off as well. “Yes Niall,” he nodded before looking at yet another painting that Niall most certainly could create himself. “That's exactly it.”

* * *

They continued through the gallery for another few hours before giving in and taking a break at the coffee shop at the top.

“It's quite beautiful here,” Gemma said, looking around. “And the coffee is delicious.”

Niall nodded eagerly, while Harry continued to flip through a book he'd bought in the gift shop. 

“Look at that,” Niall pointed over to an area twenty feet away from them. There were computers with large screens set up and several children playing around with a paintbrush program on them. “I bet that's how they get a lot of their art.”

Gemma shook her head, looking over at Harry. Harry shrugged, pointing to a section in his book called Through the Eyes of a Child which was indeed selections from the computer created pieces.

Niall laughed and took a sip of his coffee, only to be interrupted by his phone ringing. 

“Ah,” he said, looking at the display. “Gotta take this.” He shook the phone a bit, showing it to Harry and Gemma. The display clearly showed “Mum” with a picture of a smiling blonde woman who looked an awful lot like her son.

“Hi mum,” Niall said, placing the phone to his ear. “Yeh, in Germany. I'm alright,” he paused, glancing at Gemma and Harry. Harry was still flipping through his book and Gemma had connected to the gallery WiFi and was get re-acquainted with her social media accounts.

“With the same people as I have been since Italy,” he paused, obviously listening to her. 

Harry could hear Niall's mum's voice through the phone, but it was muffled and he couldn't understand what she was saying. Not that he was trying to eavesdrop on their conversation, it was just a byproduct of the three of them all sitting at the same table.

“No, I haven't,” he said after a few moments. “Because it's not important...alright, alright, I'm sorry,” he hushed his voice a little, not that it did much good because Harry and Gemma could still hear him. “I'm just trying to enjoy the rest of my trip without worrying, that's all. Yes, I've got it. It's in my wallet, it's been there the entire time.”

Niall glanced up at Harry and Gemma, shaking his head and pointing to his phone as though his mum was going on and on. Harry offered him a supportive smile, Gemma just continued playing around on her own phone.

“I don't know,” he said. “Not yet. I'm not ready yet... of course you will. I promise. I love you too mum, please don't worry about me. Alright... I'll talk to you soon. Yeh. Bye,” he said, tapping the screen and looking at Harry again. “Sorry,” he said.

“It's alright,” Harry replied, shaking his head because Niall talking to his mum on his mobile really wasn't a big deal at all. “You and your mum must be quite close.” 

Niall shrugged. “I suppose so yeah,” he said. “Been just the two of us ever since my dad left and my brother got married.”

“She's doing alright without you then?” Harry asked.

“She'll be fine,” Niall said with another shrug of his shoulders. “She's a strong little Irish woman. I'm not worried.”

Harry nodded. Niall's choice of words confused him a little bit, but he didn't want to press him any further to talk about his family, especially if there was something going on at home he was trying to escape. “There's a free computer,” Harry said, pointing over to the area with all of the kids. “Could go try your hand at making some art.”

“Ah,” Niall said, his signature grin spreading across his face as he stood up. “Let's do this.”

* * *

Harry was woken up the next morning with Niall's face right against his. His eyes widened because it was actually quite startling.

“Harry,” Niall said quietly, peering over at the sleeping Gemma in the bed beside theirs. “Let's go for an early breakfast, we haven't done that yet since we've been in Germany.”

“That's because you've been sleeping the entire time,” Harry said, his voice still raw with sleep.

Niall shrugged, hopping out of bed. He rifled through his bag quickly, leaving a mess as he pulled a pair of shorts and a t-shirt on. “Come on,” he said.

Harry sighed, because his early boring breakfasts with Niall were definitely one of his favourite parts of the trip so far. “Alright,” he yawned, stretching and leaning over to pull some clothes out of his own backpack. “Where do you suppose we go, then?”

“There's a place up the street,” Niall said as Harry got dressed. “Not far from here, I saw it a couple days ago.”

Harry nodded, running a hand through his hair to make sure it wasn't a disaster. “Sounds good to me,” he said, standing up and following Niall out of the room. “Let's go.”

* * *

Gemma was awake an hour later and much to her dismay, the boys were nowhere to be seen. They'd left behind a crumple of sheets on the bed and their things strewn about on the floor in their eagerness to leave for what she could only assume was a last breakfast before they left for Amsterdam.

She glanced at the clock. Their train was leaving in two hours, which meant they had very little time to get ready before heading out. In fact, as soon as they decided to show up back at the hostel they were going to have to high-tail it out of there and get to the train station if they had any hope of making it on time.

She sighed to herself, pulling the comforter off to the side and kneeling down onto the floor. After quickly getting dressed, she began to shove her brother's things back into his bag. She cursed him a little bit because both he and Niall were so unbelievably unorganized.

Once she'd managed to pack Harry's things away she looked over at the mess of Niall's backpack. She normally wouldn't touch it but time was of the essence and the boys had annoyed her in being so irresponsible by leaving for their early morning ritual. Had they even remembered they were leaving that morning?

So she shuffled over to Niall's things and started trying to shove them back in. Eventually she gave up because it was just too much of a mess and started to reorganize it.

Her eyebrows furrowed as a somewhat large bottle of prescription pills fell out from its hiding place; balled up inside one of his dirty shirts. 

She probably should have just shoved it back into his bag and been done with it, but curiosity got the better of her and she glanced at the label because what harm could that do?

_Oxycodone,_ it read. _Take once per day in the morning and as needed. Do not exceed three in one day._

She frowned, balling it back up in his shirt and tossing it back into his backpack. She continued to repack it until successfully zipping it shut. All the while her mind was racing. What were those for and did they explain his weird behaviour over the past few days, as well as the constant worrisome phonecalls from his mother?

She wasn't able to find out because five minutes later, Harry and Niall emerged back into the room laughing and talking. Obviously they'd enjoyed their breakfast.

“Come on,” Gemma said, handing each of them their bags. “We have to go to the train station.”

“You packed our stuff?” Niall asked, looking at her with a bit of a laugh.

“Yes,” she said, looking at his clear blue eyes for any indication of what might be wrong with him. Of course she didn't find anything. But the minute they found free WiFi, she was determined to figure it out.


	14. Chapter 14

It didn't take long for them to get to Amsterdam. One two hour train ride and they were there.

Gemma was silent for the entire trip, watching Niall and Harry the entire time. There was nothing out of the ordinary. They sat together, as they usually did when there was a seat available. They looked out the window and talked about Hamburg as they began to roll away from it and speculated on what Amsterdam would be like.

“You alright, Gem?” Niall leaned over and asked Gemma at one point, from his seat beside the window. “You're being quiet.”

She smiled and shook her head. “I'm fine,” she insisted. And she really was, because Niall looked alright as she watched him. He eventually leaned his head against the window and slept, but that was normal too. After all, he and Harry had been up early for their impromptu breakfast date.

She wasn't even sure why this bothered her so much, she just knew that it did. She glanced over at Niall again, sleeping soundly. She supposed it was partly that she'd promised her mum to watch out for her younger brother while they were away, because she was the responsible one. And now that they had Niall travelling with them she felt a sense of protectiveness over him too.

Especially since he'd passed out in Barcelona. She almost shivered, thinking about how scary that had been for all of them. How could she expect to keep Niall safe when she didn't have all of the information? 

It scared her to think that he could be keeping something from them. And it scared her even more when she looked at Harry, who she was keenly aware was much closer to Niall than she was.

She sighed and tried not to think about it as she buried her face into a book. Once she was able to get to some internet, she'd look into what she'd found and put her mind at ease. Because it was nothing. It had to be nothing.

Niall slept through much of the train ride, which was a shame because it was actually quite lovely. Especially as they got closer to the city. 

It was one of the places Harry had been looking forward to the most, ever since he and Gemma had decided to embark on this journey. And it didn't disappoint him. Everything was made of stone, it seemed. The buildings, the sidewalks. The roads – the few of them that there were. Everyone looked as though they were riding a bike as the three of them walked along, in search of their hostel.

Gemma kept her eyes open as they walked, scanning every window of every shop. Amsterdam wasn't the place for free WiFi, and it wasn't like their hostel was going to have it. The train station hadn't either.

They finally passed a small cafe that boasted “Free WiFi!” in the window. To which her eyes widened and she pulled Harry and Niall towards it. “Come on,” she said. “I'm starving. Let's stop for a quick bite.”

Niall and Harry exchanged a look. Gemma never wanted to stop before they got to the hostel – she always wanted to drop their things off first, not wanting to lug her bags around with her everywhere they went.

“Uh...” Harry said, looking at Niall. The two of them were obviously about to make some sort of remark about how they had to stay on schedule.

But Gemma had no time for that. She just pushed the door of the cafe open and found a table for four, sitting down on one of the chairs and tossing her bag onto the one beside her so she'd be able to shield her phone from the two of them.

Not that it mattered, Niall and Harry always sat next to each other without a thought.

She connected to the WiFi as quick as she could, scanning the small menu for something, anything to eat. The waiter came by and she ordered quickly, not looking up from her phone.

“We have to go to the Anne Frank house,” Niall said, looking at the two of them and sipping on his water.

Gemma tried her best to listen to them and nod along. “Yes,” she said, not looking up from her phone. “It's on the list.”

She tapped onto her phone until she got to Google, typing _Oxycodone_ into the search box. Then she tapped her foot on the ground as she waited for the results to load, glancing up at Niall and Harry. 

“Where did the two of you go for breakfast, then?” she asked, making conversation to fill time while she waited for the slow internet to catch up to her racing brain.

“Um,” Harry said, glancing at Niall.

_Still loading._

“Where was it? I don't remember the name of it.”

_Oxycodone – Wikipedia the Free Encyclopedia._

Gemma tapped on the first result and again waited for it to load.

“It was a few blocks up from the hostel,” Niall said. “Towards the river, you know, that street?”

Gemma nodded, her stomach dropping as she read the first couple of sentences in the article.

_Oxycodone is a narcotic analgesic generally indicated for relief of moderate to severe pain. It is commonly used to treat pain in terminal cancer patients._

She looked up at Niall, sure that her face was white. He was smiling, looking at her and waiting for her response... to what question again? Gemma couldn't even remember as a lump began to rise in her throat. She had to swallow to force it down, and subsequently had to force a normal look on her face.

“Uh, Gemma?” Niall laughed. “Hello?”

“Yeah,” she gulped. “Yeah, by the river. That's nice. Was it good?”

Niall and Harry began to babble on about what they'd eaten for breakfast and the array of food that had been available.

Niall couldn't be that ill, he just couldn't be. As her initial shock began to subside, she looked over at Harry. Harry, who was laughing along with Niall and hanging onto his every word. The two of them were in complete sync with each other, and yet they weren't because it was obvious he had no idea.

Their food came and when Gemma stared down at it she realised she was no longer hungry. She hadn't even been hungry in the first place but now she was so aggressively not hungry that every bite of her meal she had to force down. 

Maybe that wasn't it. Maybe the medication was for something else.

But the more she thought about it, the more she knew that wasn't the case. Niall being ill explained everything. Even things she hadn't given a second thought about until right that moment. How his mother was always calling him and how he was always reassuring her that he was fine and that he wasn't alone. His comment the day before about how she would be okay. How he had no qualms about having experiences or spending money.

And most of all, how he'd been so against going to the cemetery. It made her feel sick to think about now. Which was horrible, because she had to keep eating that food to keep up the charade.

Until Harry finished his lunch and announced he was going to the loo.

Gemma looked up at him, watching him walk through the cafe and disappear down the hall where the toilets were.

Then she eyed Niall, who had a bite of bread in his mouth.

She didn't even know what to say to him, and if she still hadn't been in a bit of shock she probably would have been a little more gentle. “Why didn't you tell us you're dying?” were the words that came out of her mouth, not accusatory, but rather sad and soft.

But Niall just laughed, like he was so used to sidestepping anything about his illness that it was second nature to him. Like he was in complete denial to everyone, most of all himself.

“We're all dying, Gemma,” he said with a shrug, taking another bite of his bread.

For some reason, his comment was completely off-putting. His whole carefree attitude that she admired and that she knew Harry loved was a complete lie and just a way for him to not deal with what was happening to him. “Right,” she said curtly. “Let me rephrase that. Why didn't you tell us that you have terminal cancer?”

Niall kept chewing on his bread as he looked at her. A more serious expression washed over his face where the laughter had been just moments ago. “How did you find out?” he finally asked.

She sighed and just showed him the article on her phone. “I found your medication when I was packing up this morning.”

“And so you decided to look it up?!”

“Niall, I was worried,” she said slowly, not losing her even tone. “You passed out in Barcelona.”

“Because it was hot,” he said shortly, pressing his mouth together. “It wasn't because... it wasn't because of _that_.”

She looked down, putting her phone back into her pocket. “It's true then,” she said softly, reaching over to touch his arm.

He didn't push her away, but he did glance back to where Harry had gone. There was still no sign of him. “Yeah,” he said after letting out a long breath.

Gemma didn't know what to say. She was torn between wanting to cry, wanting to hug him and wanting to grab him by the shoulders, shake him and tell him how stupid he was for keeping this to himself for so long.

But it was Niall who spoke first. “Are you going to tell Harry?” he asked slowly, looking at her with worry. It had been the first time she'd ever seen that look on his face.

She shook her head. “No, I'm not. I don't... I'm not about to speak up about things I'm not supposed to know about in the first place,” she said, eyeing him and hoping he'd get the hint. “But _you_ should tell him.”

After a couple seconds of Niall's eyes searching Gemma's face, he finally sighed and looked down at the table. “Yeah,” he finally said, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I just... I need to find the right time.”

Gemma nodded. 

“You're going to keep travelling with me, then?” Niall asked, his face looking sort of sheepish.

Gemma rolled her eyes. “Of course we are, you twit.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Gemma saw Harry emerge from the hallway. She pulled her hands away from Niall's arms and he placed them back down at his sides. Harry didn't seem to notice this exchange, because he just sat right back down beside Niall and grinned at the two of them.

“Shall we be off to the hostel, then?” he asked, taking a final sip from his water glass. “Gemma, are you going to derail us again?”

Gemma shook her head, looking at Niall one last time. He nodded his head ever so slightly, as if to promise her that he would eventually tell Harry what was actually going on. “No,” she said, forcing a smile on her face and standing up. “Let's go.”


	15. Chapter 15

A week was spent in Amsterdam and another week in Brussels before they were on their way to Cologne.

Over the course of the two weeks, Niall hadn't said a word about his illness to Harry. Later, Gemma would tell her brother that Niall had tried to tell him what was going on, but always managed to chicken out at the last second. In reality, everything was back to how it was.

Except that every time Niall and Harry laughed and shared an inside joke, Gemma either felt sad or overcome with rage. It was a coin toss, really. 

At the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam, Harry had commented on _Starry Night._

“It's absolutely brilliant,” Harry had said, his eyes inching over every bit of the paining as he obviously tried to soak it all in. “Niall?” he looked back at his blonde friend with a grin, knowing (and likely hoping) he had some sort of quip to make about it.

Niall didn't disappoint. “It's not really appropriately named, is it?” he asked, taking a step closer to the painting and putting his hand on his chin as thought he was really studying it. “I don't really see much in the way of stars.”

Harry looked at him and smiled, but he didn't say anything.

Niall shrugged, grinning at Harry and then looking back at Gemma. Gemma's arms were crossed over her chest, and she gave him a bit of a half-smile. “I mean, it's a good painting. He was just rubbish at naming things.”

In Brussels, it was more of the same. “ _This_ is one of the top sights in the country?” Niall asked, his eyebrows angled in confusion as he looked up at the Manneken Pis. “It's a little kid taking a wee. Give me Big Ben any day... and that's just a clock.”

Harry burst out laughing, but Gemma just gawked at him. Partly because she was becoming increasingly more annoyed with his avoidance, and partly because Big Ben was absolutely iconic. She was sure she'd photographed it from just about every possible angle. “Just a clock?” she asked in shock.

Niall shrugged. “A famous clock, I suppose. But yeah.”

“Did you even see it when you were in London?”

He shrugged again. “Might've walked past it.”

Gemma rolled her eyes, but Harry continued to grin. “One day, when you come visit us in England we'll go to London and Gemma will teach you all about the culture of the city and how Big Ben 'defines the entire city.'” He quoted, looking at his sister with a grin.

“One day,” Niall smiled back, looking at Harry.

Gemma had to turn on her heel and walk away in a huff because she couldn't stand to listen to any more of Niall's avoidance bullshit.

By the time they reached their second night in Cologne, Gemma had learned to do a better job at keeping up the charade that everything was fine. Not that Harry had noticed her behaviour at all, since for the entire trip he'd been fixated on Niall.

“God, everything looks so good,” Gemma said, licking her lips as they sat in a restaurant for dinner. She and Harry were still peering down at their menus, while Niall had already closed him.

“Do you know what you're having already?” Harry asked, and Niall nodded his head while taking a sip of water.

It took Harry and Gemma a few more minutes and a waving off of the waitress to decide. But eventually they did, after practically salivating over the pictures in the menu.

“Krautspätzle,” Harry said, handing his menu over to the waitress.

“Bangers and mash,” Gemma said, after looking back down at her menu again and making a quick gametime decision.

“Tossed salad,” Niall said simply, handing in his menu.

Harry and Gemma waited until the waitress had walked away to look at him in shock.

“That's all you're having?!” Harry asked. “Off of that glorious menu? I wanted to order two entrees.”

Niall shrugged, sipping at his water again. 

Harry furrowed his eyebrows with concern as he looked at Niall. He leaned over a bit closer to Niall. He looked alright, maybe a little bit tired if anything... but they'd had a long day so that was understandable. But that was also all the more reason to eat a lot at dinner, so Harry didn't really understand Niall's logic.

Gemma, on the other hand, became very interested in her diet coke.

“You feeling alright, mate?” Harry asked, still looking at Niall.

Niall nodded his head, looking at Harry with a reassuring smile. “Yeah, just not very hungry I suppose.”

Harry seemed to accept that, even though he looked at Niall with a bit of concern before finally leaning back into his own seat.

There was a bit of silence after that. Gemma sipping at her coke, Harry flipping through a book he'd bought and Niall fumbling around on his phone.

“Look at this,” Harry said at one point, placing the open book in the middle of the table and showing it to Niall and Gemma. “Isn't that fascinating?”

Gemma nodded. “Absolutely mad.”

Niall wasn't even paying attention. He was playing with his phone under the edge of the table.

“Hey, Niall,” Harry nudged him. “Look at this. What are you doing anyway? You're like a texting machine over there.”

“Texting my mum,” he said simply, tapping out another message before finally looking up. “What's this then?”

“It's a photo of the World War II planes over Cologne the day Hitler died. Fascinating bit of history, isn't it?”

Niall just inspected the photo, reading the little blurb at the bottom of the page. He looked at Harry and nodded his head. “Yeah,” he said as his phone buzzed again and he went back to it.

Harry glanced over at Gemma, who simply shrugged her shoulders and flipped the next page of the book.

Their food eventually came, and while Harry and Gemma devoured theirs, Niall picked at his salad. He only ate what Harry estimated to be four bites before continuing to text his mother. 

Harry frowned, watching him. “Are you sure you're alright?” he asked again, because Niall could usually eat the quickest out of the three of them. “Is your mum alright?”

Niall nodded and then nodded again. “Yeah,” he said. “Just... yeah.” He looked up at Gemma, making a quick bit of eye contact with her before standing up. “Actually I'm going to call my mum,” He shuffled out from his chair, walking out of the restaurant and presumably standing outside to phone his mum in peace.

Harry gave Gemma a look once Niall was gone. “That was weird. He doesn't usually care if we hear him talking to her.”

Gemma shrugged, pulling some money out of her wallet and placing it on the table to pay for her and Harry's meals. “Maybe something's going on at home,” she lied, knowing full well that Niall obviously wasn't feeling well that day and was seeking out comfort from his mum. 

“I hope he's alright,” Harry said, looking over at the door. “Must be something pretty bad going on at home if he doesn't even want to eat.”

“Yeah,” Gemma nodded, chewing at the straw of her drink and looking at her brother. “I'm sure he's fine,” she gritted, biting down on the straw.

Harry nodded, still looking over at the door and hoping to see Niall emerge through it with his signature bright smile. He didn't. Instead, a couple minutes later he came walking through the doors with his hands in his pockets and a neutral expression on his face.

“Shall we go, then?” Harry asked, glancing up at Niall. He really wanted to ask him again if he was okay, but he figured that'd be pushing it since he'd already asked him a few times and Niall clearly didn't want to talk about whatever was bothering him. Perhaps later, once Gemma was asleep they could talk.

Niall nodded his head, tossing a bit of money down on the table. “Yeah.”

They walked mostly in silence back to the hostel. Since they'd had a long day of sightseeing they'd eaten dinner considerably late. It was dark as they walked back, with the streetlights illuminating the stone streets. It was quite pretty, and Harry was content at just looking around as they walked and taking in the ambiance of the city.

He did glance over at Niall a few times, who still had his hands in his pockets as they walked. His face was still a bit of a weird expression that Harry couldn't read, but he was also glancing around and appearing as though he was taking in the city.

The hostel they were staying in was actually considerably bigger than most that they'd been in thus far. Luckily enough, Harry and Niall were able to get their own room again. Which they'd taken full advantage of the night before.

Of course their room was also on the ninth floor, which meant nine flights of stairs. And after a tiring day, that was a lot of exertion.

Harry and Gemma tried to walk up the stairs quickly, but Niall was following sluggishly behind. “Wait,” he said at one point, somewhere around the third floor and a number of steps behind them.

They stopped and waited of course, Harry once again looking at him with concern. He glanced at Gemma, as if to justify his worries, but she just kept looking at Niall. 

Once Niall caught up they turned around and continued up the stairs. Gemma taking them two at a time in front of Harry, and Harry lagging a bit to make sure Niall could keep up.

It was a good thing, because on the second last flight of stairs Niall grabbed at Harry's t-shirt, nearly pulling him backwards. “Harry,” he breathed out, falling frontwards onto the steps.

Harry jerked backwards, looking down at his friend with fear. He was just laying in a mess, sprawled out on the steps. Thankfully he hadn't tumbled down them.

“Niall?” Harry asked, kneeling down. He glanced up at Gemma, who had come back down to meet them. “I don't know what happened,” he said, looking up at his sister.

“He's passed out,” Gemma said bluntly.

Harry gave her a weird look, not understanding why she wasn't more worried about Niall. “I see that,” he said, looking back down at Niall, unsure if he should touch him or not. “I don't understand,” he muttered. “It's not even hot.”

Gemma sighed. “Maybe it's because he ate literally nothing for dinner.”

Harry looked up at her, nodding. Trust Gemma to always have an answer for everything. He glanced back down at Niall, touching his hair softly. “Hey mate, wake up.”

“Mmm,” Niall muttered, glancing up at Harry. 

“You alright?” Harry asked, looking down at him.

“I passed out,” Niall stated weakly, sitting up a little bit.

“Easy,” Harry said, helping him to lean against the wall. “Are you hurt?”

Niall covered his face with one of his hands, letting the other sit limp at his side. He didn't say anything, opting to just shake his head instead.

Harry sat with Niall for a couple more minutes, rubbing his shoulder slightly. He glanced up at Gemma, who was still standing there and watching the two of them. “I think we're alright,” Harry said, nodding his head upwards. “You can go on then.”

Gemma glanced back down at Niall, whose head was still in his hand. “You sure?” she asked.

Harry nodded at her. Truthfully he just wanted her to leave because he thought Niall might be more willing to talk once she was gone. 

“Alright,” she sighed, looking at him. “Goodnight, then. Feel better, Niall.”

She walked off, feet pounding the wooden flight of stairs as she made her way to her room. Once Harry heard her footsteps get further away, he turned to Niall. His face was still buried in his hand, his fingers massaging his temples.

“You want to tell me what's going on, then?” Harry asked gently, his hand still on Niall's shoulder. He leaned over and kissed Niall on the cheek.

Niall pulled his hand away from his face. It was wet and his eyes were red rimmed, which was even more cause for concern for Harry. Niall looked at him, his mouth pressed together and turned down. “I...” he started, leaning in close to him. “My mum... she's not handling me being away very well. I'm just worried about her, I'm sorry,” he said after taking a deep breath. “I should have eaten more at dinner. Just mum texting me... I was worried.”

Harry nodded, even though he didn't fully understand. He didn't think that worry was an emotion Niall was even capable of, let alone to this degree.

“It's alright,” Harry said kissing him softly again. “You alright to get to the room?”

Niall nodded, placing his hands on the wall behind him and pulling himself up. “Yeah.”

That didn't stop Harry from grabbing Niall's hand and holding onto it tightly as they walked up the flight and a half of stairs to get to their room. He only let go once they were inside and Niall laid down on the bed.

“Let's go to sleep,” Harry said, pulling his shirt off and tossing it onto the ground. “It's been a long day.”

Niall violently shook his head. “I'm really alright, come on,” he said, sitting up in bed and balancing on his knees. He licked his lips, as if he was inviting Harry to kiss him.

“You passed out,” Harry said seriously, his voice low.

“Yeah,” Niall shrugged. “But I'm alright now. Was just a bit dizzy.”

“I don't think that's going to help,” Harry said, even though Niall was pulling his own shirt off and laying down on his back.

“Come on,” Niall practically whined, thrusting his hips upwards. “You really don't want to?”

Harry raised his eyebrows. No, he really, really did want to. But Niall's fall had significantly worried him to the point where he was almost afraid to touch him. 

Niall was still looking at him with those bright blue eyes. He was irresistible. So Harry sighted, crawling onto the bed and kissing Niall softly on the mouth. “Take your trousers off then.”

Niall practically beamed, shuffling out of his jeans and pants, kicking them off to the floor. Harry grinned at him, kissing him on the mouth again before moving downwards. He left a trail of kisses along Niall's chest and down his stomach. 

Harry placed his hands on the sides of Niall's hips before taking his cock in his mouth. He heard Niall gasp as he flicked the tip of it with his tongue.

Niall's hands found their way down to Harry's messy hair, grabbing onto it as Harry continued to suck him off. 

It was clear to him that Niall didn't have a lot of energy. Normally he would be thrusting himself into Harry's mouth and making all sorts of noises while gripping onto Harry's hair. Instead Niall just laid there sighing occasionally with his hands softly playing with Harry's curls.

Harry figured he'd better move this along, taking one of his hands and stroking Niall's shaft while keeping his lips around the tip.

As Harry predicted, that was enough to send Niall over the edge. “Harry,” he breathed out, thrusting his hips and coming in Harry's mouth, hitting the back of his throat.

Harry swallowed all of it, of course. He sat up and looked at Niall, whose chest was heaving. His blue eyes could barely stay open. He was completely spent, but still he pulled himself up and placed his hand on top of the zipper of Harry's jeans.

Harry just shook his head and gently moved Niall's hand. Niall looked like absolute hell, and whether the blonde boy was doing this because he felt he should return the favour or because he really wanted to didn't really matter to Harry. He just wanted him to get some rest.

“Go to sleep,” he said, kissing Niall's forehead and laying down beside him.

Normally Niall would argue, which was another tell that he was completely knackered. He just nodded his head and laid down next to Harry, placing his hand on his chest as he cuddled up to him.

Niall was asleep within minutes, his breathing even and soft. Harry sighed and closed his eyes. Instead of thinking about the worries of the day, he tried his best to just focus on Niall's warm body beside his own as he drifted off.


	16. Chapter 16

When Harry woke up the next morning Niall was still fast asleep beside him.

His thin arms were curled up beside him as he laid on his side. Wisps of his blonde hair fell onto his forehead and his mouth hung open slightly, sucking in air as he slept.

He smiled to himself, brushing Niall's hair back a little bit. Not that it really mattered, his eyes were obviously closed and his hair wasn't long enough to be in them anyway.

He sat up a bit, glancing at the clock on the beside table. It was just after nine in the morning and Harry was well aware that they had a long day ahead of them. Gemma would probably be along soon to wake them up. But they always had a long day ahead of them, and while that was great and the fast pace was necessary for the trip sometimes Harry needed a bit of relaxation time. 

So he slid back down under the covers and cuddled up beside Niall. Niall didn't wake up, he just shifted a little bit to accommodate Harry being next to him.

Harry closed his eyes for a moment, before half opening them again. He looked at Niall, just watching him sleep. Another reason he wasn't keen on getting up was because Niall was beginning to worry him. Ever since they'd met he'd been going at top speed, never sleeping and pushing himself to the limit for as long as he'd been travelling for. He never stopped to breathe until he was forced to.

Literally forced to, Harry remembered as he drew in an unintentional sharp breath. Whatever was going on at home was obviously affecting Niall. It shouldn't have bothered Harry that Niall didn't want to tell him what it was, but it sort of did. If for no other reason that they'd be able to talk about it and then maybe Niall wouldn't be so upset.

Because even if he outwardly tried not to act like it, it wasn't like Harry hadn't noticed little changes. Their early morning breakfasts were becoming less and less frequent, while Niall's calls from his mum were becoming more and more.

Harry glanced over at the bedside table again. For a split second, he thought he could look at his text conversation with his mum and figure it out before he pushed the idea out of his brain. That was an act more suited for his nosy sister he thought with slight annoyance. Gemma had gone through his things when they were younger numerous times.

There was a soft knock at the door that caused Harry to sigh as he slipped out of bed.

He pulled a pair of boxers on before answering, and looked back to ensure Niall was decent. He was, stirring a little bit with his head still poking out of the top of the comforter.

“Morning,” Harry whispered as he opened the door and was greeted by Gemma.

“Morning,” she said back, peering her head inside the room. “How is he?”

Harry shrugged. He didn't really know how to answer that. “Sleeping.”

Gemma nodded, retreating back into the door frame. “He's alright though?” she asked, clearly referring to the night before.

Again Harry shrugged. Niall had seemed fine once they'd gotten back to the room. Or at least, as fine as possible considering the circumstances. “Yeah, I think so. Just upset about his mum I suppose. I don't really know.”

Gemma eyed him for a moment and Harry knitted his eyebrows. It almost looked to him like Gemma didn't believe him, but if that was it she didn't say anything. Instead she just nodded. “Should let him sleep then. We can always push the gardens off until tomorrow.”

“No,” Niall muttered from inside the room. Harry glanced back at him, he was still laying in the bed unmoved from his position. His eyes were open and he was looking at the two of them. “'M awake.”

Harry glanced back at Gemma, raising his hands a little as if to tell her he had no idea. Gemma just shook her head, and peeked back in at Niall.

“You sure?” she asked him.

Niall nodded, his blue eyes still hazy with sleep.

“Alright,” Gemma said, turning to go back to her room. “Get ready then.”

Harry shut the door and leaned against it, looking back down at Niall. As far as Harry was concerned, he still looked sick. His pale skin was without its blushing red cheeks and his eyes were drooping.

“We don't have to,” Harry started, but Niall cut him off by shaking his head violently. He pulled himself up in the bed.

“No,” Niall stressed, running a hand through his hair. “I'm fine. Let's get moving, then,” Niall grinned.

It looked forced to Harry, but he could have been reading too much into it. In fact, he convinced himself he was reading too much into it as he smiled back. He leaned in and kissed Niall on the forehead, his hot skin tingling on his lips.

Which was just another warning sign to Harry that Niall really wasn't telling him the whole truth. “You're burning up,” he said, eyebrows furrowed with concern.

Niall waved it off, shaking his head and laughing. And Harry tried not to read too much into it, honest he did but Niall's laugh also held far less weight to it than it usually did. “I'm fine, Harry. Always warm when I sleep.”

Harry knew without a doubt that wasn't true since he'd been next to Niall every night for the past couple of months. Not to this extent.

“Niall, I really think -”

Niall wouldn't hear it, because he hopped off the bed and pulled on a pair of boxers before gathering his clothes. “Gonna go have a shower,” he said, offering Harry another obviously forced grin before shuffling out of the room.

* * *

In theory, it should have been a perfect day for the three of them to visit the Botanical Gardens. The sun was shining, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and it wasn't too hot outside.

Their plan was to visit the gardens in the early afternoon and then making their way over to the church of St. Cecelia afterwards. 

Everything they did convinced Harry further that they really should have just stayed at the hostel for the day.

They'd stopped for a quick bite on their way to the gardens. Niall had tried to be discreet about the fact that he'd only eaten about half of his muffin before tossing it in a bin, but Harry hadn't missed it.

The blonde was also sluggishly walking behind Harry and Gemma. Every time Harry looked back at him, he smiled,but his face was still pale and his forehead was still showing off beads of sweat.

“Niall,” Harry said after a little while, because he couldn't take much more of it. “Let's-”

“Look,” Niall said, picking up his pace and walking in front of them. “There's the gardens,” he pointed about twenty feet away to the open gate that sure enough lead to their first destination for the day.

Harry gave Gemma a look, hoping she might help him out. But his sister just shrugged, following Niall over to the entrance. Harry sighed, putting his hands in his pockets and admitting defeat to himself. If Niall didn't see any reason to slow down just because he was feeling a little bit off, then Harry wouldn't let himself worry about him.

He'd make his best effort, anyway.

“God, this is beautiful,” Gemma grinned, taking out her camera and starting to shoot photos as she always did.

Harry glanced around. She wasn't wrong. The gardens were beautiful, colourful and filled with life. Everywhere he turned it looked like there was a new flower to be seen.

He couldn't help but look over at Niall, who was standing there as Gemma snapped her photos. He was also glancing around, a look of calm appreciation washed over his face. It was something Harry had seen more and more from him in the last couple of weeks.

“Lovely, isn't it?” Harry asked softly, walking over to Niall. He almost wished for Niall to make a sarcastic comment of sorts. 

But Niall didn't. He just nodded, looking down at the green grass at their feet. “It is,” he said, looking back up at Harry with a smile after a moment.

And if Harry hadn't known before then in the back of his mind that something was truly wrong before then, he'd recall that moment as the one that he knew. When things started to become truly different with Niall. He would think back to it often in the coming weeks.

But as it was happening? He returned Niall's soft smile and then looked back at Gemma, eager to get on with their day.

Which, for the next couple of hours meant the two of them quietly taking in the beauty of the gardens while Gemma took a number of photos.

* * *

They had to take a train over to the church, which took about half an hour. Niall leaned his head up against the side and closed his eyes for a couple of minutes. Harry watched him, waiting for his breathing to become more even. As soon as he was sure he was asleep, he turned to his sister.

“He's sick,” Harry said quietly, leaning into Gemma a little bit.

Gemma just looked at him blankly and waited for Harry to continue.

“He slept in today, he didn't eat any of the muffin, he barely ate anything at lunch and...” Harry paused, unsure of how he could say Niall was feverish without giving away that he'd been physically close with Niall that morning. “He's just gone and made himself sick from whatever is going on.”

Gemma pressed her lips together and stared at the windows across from them. The light reflected from the outside and into the train, flashing over their faces like a less dramatic strobe light. 

“Gemma?” Harry asked softly when his sister didn't respond to him. He glanced back at Niall to make sure he was still asleep. He was. “I'm worried.”

She sighed a little and looked at him, her eyes full of concern. She licked her lips and looked over at Niall, and then looked back at Harry. “I know you are,” she finally said.

“Great,” Harry rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat. As he did this, Niall moved his head from its spot against the wall to a more comfortable resting place on Harry's shoulder. Harry glanced down at him for a moment before deciding to let him stay there. It wasn't like Niall knew what he was doing when he was sleeping, anyway. “Thanks a lot, Gem.”

“Don't call me Gem,” Gemma nearly snapped at Harry, before softening. “There's nothing we can do, Hazza. If he thinks he's alright, then he's probably alright. You need to trust him.”

Harry would have shrugged, but he didn't want to wake Niall up. So instead he stuck out his bottom lip and nodded. If Gemma thought Niall was okay, then he was probably okay. Harry was well aware that his sister liked to play the responsible mother more than she probably should. 

The rest of their train ride was silent, with Gemma scrolling though the pictures on her camera, Niall sleeping peacefully away on Harry's shoulder and Harry trying not to let on how much he truly was enjoying Niall against him.

Eventually, Gemma shoved her camera back into her bag and nudged Harry. “Our stop is next.”

Harry nodded, lightly shaking Niall. “Oi,” he said, looking at him. 

Niall's eyes fluttered open, blinking a few times as he looked up at Harry. 

“We're here,” Harry said, smiling down at him.

Niall moved his head off of Harry's shoulder and stretched a little bit. He swallowed and bit his lip. “Already?” he asked finally, his voice rough with sleep.

Harry laughed a bit as he stood up to get off the train. “It's been forty minutes,” he said. 

Niall just nodded, standing up and following him and Gemma off the train. Gemma glanced back at them, looking at Niall and then offering a look of support to Harry before they continued on their way out of the station. 

They still had a bit of a walk before they got to the church, which took them through an area with a decent amount of stone steps to climb. 

Unlike the narrow staircase of the hostel, there was enough space for the three of them to walk side by side. Still, while Gemma and Harry managed the steps just fine, Niall fell a bit behind.

“Come on,” Harry said softly, holding out his hand behind him for Niall to grab. He glanced back and Niall nodded, still looking down at his feet. He reached out for Harry's hand, managing only a loose grip around his fingers.

“Niall,” Harry said a bit more firmly, looking back at him again. Niall didn't look at him as they kept moving.   
What little grip Niall had on Harry's hand slipped away as he fell backwards. It was like it happened in slow motion. His eyes closed and his legs collapsed underneath himself.

He was small and the steps were big so he didn't fall down may of them. Three at most – Harry wasn't really counting. Instead he was shouting, chasing after and leaning down beside his friend. “Niall,” he said softly, placing his hand on his shoulder.

Nothing.

“Niall,” he said more firmly, shaking Niall's shoulder as Gemma rushed down beside him. “Come on, mate,” he said, nervousness quivering through his voice.

But Niall just laid there, his body limp against the stone.

“Don't touch him,” Gemma said softly, pulling Harry back. “He might have hit his head.”

Harry gulped, feeling heat build up in his chest and tears brimming in his eyes. He _knew_ he should have forced Niall to stay at the hostel and get some rest. If Niall was seriously injured he was sure he'd never forgive himself.

“What're you doing?” Harry managed to get out through unsteady breaths as he looked up at Gemma. It should have been obvious, given she had her cell phone pressed up against her ear.

“Calling an ambulance,” she said. Worry was creasing in her forehead as she looked down at Harry before resting her gaze on Niall.


	17. Chapter 17

Niall was taken to University Hospital Cologne as soon as the ambulance arrived. Whether he woke up on the way there or not, Harry and Gemma didn't know. They weren't permitted to ride with him as neither of them were his family.

“Rubbish,” Harry muttered as he and Gemma sat on the train on their way to the hospital. He ran a hand through his curls – a habit he'd started to pick up from Niall. “No one else is here with him.”

Gemma sighed, leaning back against the window and rubbing Harry's shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. It didn't really work, but he didn't push her away either. 

“He'll be alright,” Gemma assured him. “They have good doctors here.”

Harry looked at her with a raised eyebrow. He wasn't so sure that was the case and even though there was literally nothing he could do, he'd still feel better if he was by Niall's side and he could see with his own eyes that he was going to be okay. That he was getting the care he should be getting.

That they hadn't called time of death or something equally as dramatic. His breath caught in his throat as he thought about that.

“Harry,” Gemma said softly.

“What?” Harry asked irritably. “What, Gemma? He's going to be alright? I have to trust him? I have to trust the doctors?”

“Yes,” Gemma replied shortly. 

“How can I?” Harry asked, putting his head in his hands. “This is all my fault.”

Gemma laughed. She actually laughed, which caused Harry to look up at her in horror.

“Sorry,” she said, rolling her eyes and letting the grin leave her face. “It's just that you're a right drama queen. This is anything but your fault. He pushed himself too hard when he was ill. It's his own fault.”

Harry looked back down at his feet. He played with his hands, intertwining his fingers together and tapping at his knuckles. He supposed it was Niall's own stubbornness that had gotten him into such a mess. But Harry couldn't help but feel like he should have been more firm with him. Like he should have insisted that they take it slow for the day.

A dozen alternate scenarios ran through his mind.

He could have told Gemma that they were staying in for the day when she'd shown up at their room. And when she'd left, Harry would have cuddled Niall back to sleep. It probably would have been easy, given how tired Niall had been for the entire day.

When Harry caught Niall throwing out his muffin, he could have intercepted him and told him they were going back to the hostel. That if he was clearly too ill to even eat, how could he expect to walk around for the entire day sightseeing?

At the gardens he could have taken Niall's hand when Gemma wasn't looking and softly told him that this was enough for the day, that they'd go to the castle tomorrow when he was feeling better.

Hell, when they left the gardens they could have gotten on a train that would have taken them back to the hostel. Niall never would have known, he would have fallen asleep. And Harry could have carried him back to their room to get some real rest – not just a nap on the train.

“Harry,” Gemma said firmly, leaning down and giving her brother a look. “There is nothing you could have done.”

Harry shrugged. He didn't really believe that, given everything he was thinking about.

“Nothing,” Gemma repeated, looking at him seriously. “I know we haven't known him for very long, but he's stubborn. I mean, look at him. He's travelling the world, by himself even... before he met us. Despite,” she paused, choosing her next words carefully. “Despite his mum being obviously unhappy about it for whatever reason. That right there should tell you he does what he wants and doesn't let anyone tell him otherwise.”

Harry nodded. Yes, he supposed that much was true. An extremely stubborn free spirit was the perfect way to describe Niall and that character trait exactly the reason that this had happened. 

As usual, Gemma was right. Harry turned his head towards her. At least this time she didn't look smug about it.

“Maybe this will be a good thing,” Gemma said slowly, placing her hand on Harry's back. “Maybe this will finally get him to realise he needs to slow down.”

That comment sort of confused Harry, but he let it go. He supposed Niall did need to slow down a little bit – he was sort of a speed demon when it came to their trip. Waking up early, going to bed late, not taking any moment to relax. It had caught up with him, that was all. 

Harry knew in the back of his mind that couldn't realistically be all there was to it. But he let it go for the time being. 

Besides, he didn't have time to question it. Their train had stopped at the hospital and he and Gemma had to get off.

As they walked into the building and into the halls, Harry really didn't have a clue what they were doing there. It wasn't like they were going to get to see Niall – they hadn't been able to ride in the ambulance so he wasn't sure why he thought that they'd actually get to see him once he'd been admitted. 

Still, it was worth a shot as they got to the front desk.

“Hi,” Harry shuffled a little bit, looking down at the short blonde receptionist who was sitting behind the desk. “Um, our friend was just brought here. We were just wondering if we could see him...”

The receptionist looked up at him and then looked over at Gemma. “What's his name?”

“Niall,” Harry said quickly, racking his brain for his last name.

“Horan,” Gemma added, giving Harry a slight smile before spelling it out for the receptionist.

She typed it into the computer and her eyes scanned the screen for a few moments. “He was just admitted about ten minutes ago,” she said, looking at the two of them. “But he's on no visitors. Family only.”

“No,” Harry said, resting his hands on the counter. He was beginning to get flustered because he just wanted to know if Niall was okay, and they'd basically been family for the past few months. Was travelling together all over Europe not enough? Was sharing the same bed every night not enough? Not that he was about to say that, but still. “You don't understand, he's got no one. We're travelling with him and we just want to know if he's alright. _Please_.”

The receptionist sighed as she looked back at the screen. “I'm sorry,” she started. “I can't...”

“Please,” Harry practically begged, knowing full well he was making himself out to look pathetic. “We were with him when... it happened. We just want to know if he's alright.”

Gemma looked at him with sympathy, placing her hand on his back again for comfort. It didn't really work – the only comfort would be knowing Niall was fine. And that would be the absolute minimum amount, because really it would ideal if they could see him. If Harry could see Niall smiling and looking 100% better for himself.

The receptionist bit her lip and looked back at the computer. “He was admitted ten minutes ago,” she repeated.

“We know,” Harry interrupted her, and Gemma smacked him on the back. Obviously the girl was about to share more information.

She sighed, looking back up at Harry and Gemma. “It looks like they're running some tests to see if he's concussed, but he's been responsive to the paramedics questions.”

“But he's alone,” Harry muttered, looking down at the marble countertop.

The receptionist glanced around and leaned in a little bit. “Please don't worry,” she said in a hushed voice. “He's not. He had emergency contact information with him, his mother is on her way.”

Harry pressed his lips together. He supposed that was good – but he still wasn't sure how long it would take for Niall's mum to get all the way from Ireland to Germany. “Can we see him before she gets here?” he tried again, one more time.

She shook her head. “I'm sorry,” she said, and she really did look apologetic. “I've already done more than I should.”

“Thank you,” Gemma said gratefully, nodding at her and pulling Harry away from the counter. “Do you feel better now?” she asked once they were back in the front hall of the hospital. “He's going to be alright.”

Harry gulped. He felt a little better, sure. But he still didn't feel at rest. He still wanted to see Niall, and he definitely did not want to spend the night without him.

“Sort of,” Harry muttered honestly, looking at his sister. 

She gave him a bit of a half sympathetic, half annoyed look. “Come on,” she said, taking his hand like she always used to do when they were younger and he'd hurt himself. “Let's go get something to eat and go back to the hostel. We'll come back here tomorrow to see if we can see him. Maybe meet that mum of his who's always on the phone.”

For the first time that afternoon Harry actually smiled. “Alright,” he agreed, walking with Gemma out of the hospital.

* * *

Harry's room in the hostel was awfully quiet without Niall breathing beside him. He just laid in the bed, the sheets rumpled and covered in Niall's scent. Harry had thought at first that it would help lull him to sleep. He'd even grabbed one of Niall's t-shirts off of the floor and put it on, hoping it would help.

It didn't. The constant reminder of him just made him feel sick to his stomach. The thought of him alone in the hospital all night, waiting impatiently for his mum to show up. Probably not even allowed to sleep if they thought he had a concussion.

So Harry just laid there with his eyes open. He would stare at the wall for a few minutes, then he'd stare down at Niall's things on the floor for a few minutes. Eventually that'd get to be too much for him, so back to staring at the wall he went.

This lasted for about an hour and a half before Harry decided he'd had enough and pulled the sheets off himself. Shuffling out of his bed and down a couple flights of stairs, he ended up in front of Gemma's room.

He knocked on the door once and waited. No answer. He rolled his eyes. His sister was a heavy sleeper, and while that had been beneficial earlier in the trip, it certainly wasn't helping him now.

He knocked again, harder this time.

Nothing.

He knocked again, and finally he heard movement in the room. Gemma opened the door slowly, eyes half closed and her long hair a mess.

“I should have known,” she said, heading back into the room but leaving the door ajar so Harry could follow her.

He did, shutting it behind him. “Sorry,” he said, sitting down on the twin bed opposite hers. “Can I stay here?”

“Mmmhmm,” Gemma replied, crawling back into her own bed.

Harry turned down the sheets in what would be his bed for the night. It was only then that he realised he was still wearing Niall's shirt. “Gemma,” he whispered.

“What?” she mumbled, likely half asleep already.

“Do you think he's alright?” Harry asked. He knew he was being a bother. He also didn't really care.

“Yes,” Gemma replied, her voice muffled by her pillow. “His mum is probably already here. It's not a long flight from Ireland.”

Harry nodded. He could picture Niall's mum sitting at his bedside. Maybe she was listening to all of his travel stories and asking him questions as they tried to keep him awake for the night to make sure he was alright. “Yeah,” he said with a yawn, finally feeling like he could relax enough to fall asleep. “You're right. Goodnight, Gem.”

Gemma didn't reply – she was likely already asleep again. Harry smiled to himself, letting his mind shut down for the night.


	18. Chapter 18

Harry woke up the next morning with sunlight streaming into the room. It landed harshly on his face, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut tighter. He rolled over to cuddle up to Niall, but was just met with more of the mattress.

That was when the events of the day before came flooding back to him. His breath caught in his throat and he wasn't even fully awake yet. His eyes burned from lack of sleep but he didn't care. He peeled them open, sitting up slightly and resting on his side as he looked over at Gemma.

As usual, she was still asleep. It almost infuriated Harry. Niall was alone in the hospital (well, not entirely alone he supposed. His mum was there with him but having never met this woman, that wasn't good enough for Harry.) and here Gemma was, sleeping away like everything was fine.

He picked up a pillow and tossed it at her.

“Mmph,” she muttered, rolling over. “What was that for?”

“Get up,” he said, perhaps a little harsher than he should have. But he was eager to get over to the hospital and find out exactly what was going on with his friend.

Though friend seemed like a little bit of a weak word at this point. It didn't accurately describe what Harry was going to do as soon as he saw Niall. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around him and kiss him until the two of them had to gasp for air.

It was over dramatic, but it was the only thing taking Harry's mind off of the memory of Niall laying still on the steps.

Gemma gave Harry a look. However, instead of fighting back with a sarcastic comment, she actually sat up and rubbed her eyes. She glanced over at the clock. “You actually managed to sleep in a little.”

Harry shrugged. It certainly didn't feel that way.

“To the hospital, then?” Gemma asked him, yawning and stretching a little bit.

Harry nodded as though that much were obvious. Really, it should have been.

“Alright,” she sighed, swinging her legs out from under the covers and getting out of bed. “I'm going to have a shower first. You could do with one too.”

Harry just nodded as he watched her go. He flopped back down on his bed for a moment before getting up and retreating back over to his room. 

He bit his lip once he opened the door and looked at the floor. Niall's backpack was still sitting there, some of his things strewn about. He swallowed a bit – he was going to see Niall today and everything was going to be fine. Just a little bump on his head – nothing to be concerned about.

That all it was. He just wished he could be more sure of it.

* * *

Harry and Gemma arrived at the hospital an hour and a half later, around noon. After Gemma guilted Harry into stopping somewhere quick for breakfast.

Now they were back in that awful hallway. It hadn't led them to Niall last time, but this time... Harry clenched his fists as they walked. Gemma placed her hand on top of his.

“Relax, Hazza,” she said softly.

Harry looked down at her and nodded. He had no idea why she was being so supportive of his dramatics. Usually she just rolled her eyes and told him to stop being a drama queen. Perhaps she actually understood the gravity of the situation.

They stepped up to the reception desk again and were met with the same girl that had been there the day before.

“Hi,” Harry said to her, trying his best to be friendly. He wasn't sure it worked, given the urgency he felt. 

All he wanted was for her to recognize him and Gemma and rush the two of them to Niall's room. They'd walk in, see Niall sitting there with a smile on his face. He'd look up at them an laugh with maybe just a tinge of embarrassment. “Bit of a crazy day, yeah?” he'd say, and Harry would just run over and kiss him on his perfect, happy mouth.

But that wasn't what happened. 

“Hello,” she said, giving them a warm smile. The one thing that fit with Harry's fantasy was that she did indeed recognise them. “You were here yesterday.”

Harry nodded eagerly and he felt Gemma rub his arm in support. “Yeah, to see our friend. Can he have visitors now? Niall Horan.”

“Hmmm,” she said, tapping his name into the computer and staring at the screen. “Actually, it says here he was discharged this morning.” She looked at Harry and Gemma, before looking back at the screen and presumably reading the rest of the notes about Niall on it.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows and glanced at Gemma. “Maybe he's gone back to the hostel,” he muttered. Although that didn't make a lot of sense, if he was discharged in the morning surely they would have run into him.

The receptionist shifted uncomfortably in her seat, but Harry didn't miss it. “What?” he asked, looking at her and then looking at Gemma. Gemma averted her gaze over to the other side of the room, which was when Harry felt his stomach drop. That was when he truly knew something was wrong and that he was out of the loop. He _knew_ that Gemma was being far too sweet about the whole thing.

“Do you have any more information?” he tried, leaning onto the counter and looking at the receptionist. 

She looked at him, biting her lip and clearly contemplating telling him something that was confidential.

“ _Please_ ,” Harry pleaded, feeling exactly as he had the day before when he was in this exact same situation. 

“All it says here is that he's been discharged on the condition that he go back to Ireland and meet with his oncologist,” she said, keeping her voice low, but calm. “I assume that's what he's done...”

But Harry wasn't listening to her anymore. He heard Gemma mutter a quiet “Thank you,” to the receptionist, but it was muffled. 

If he thought his stomach had dropped before, it was nothing compared to this. He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to make sense of what he'd just heard. He stumbled a little bit over to the waiting area, not that he was really sure why. It just seemed like the thing to do.

“Harry,” Gemma said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Oncologist,” Harry managed to get out, not sure if he was going to cry or scream or faint. The information was too much for him to handle. “Why would Niall have an oncologist? Because that would mean that's he's... that he's got...” Harry couldn't even say the word as he looked at his sister in horror.

And the sad look on her face confirmed it. “He told me he was going to tell you...” she said, pursing her lips together.

“You knew,” Harry said quietly, unable to even look at her. He'd figure out Niall's reasons for keeping this a secret later, but Gemma? His own sister kept something like this from him. He glanced around at his feet, not knowing what to do with himself as the rage built up in the pit of his stomach. “You knew!” he repeated, kicking an empty chair in the waiting area and watching it clang against another one, startling a woman who was sitting there.

“Harry,” Gemma said, worry shaking in her voice. “Calm down.”

“Calm down?!” he shouted, not caring that he was being stared at. “You expect me to calm down after finding out that Niall has fucking cancer?” the word was out of his mouth before he could stop it, and it hung there in the air like a dark cloud. “Why would he tell _you_?” Harry continued after a moment of shock. “Why would he tell you and not me?” 

“He didn't tell me,” Gemma said through gritted teeth. She was obviously trying to keep her cool, even though Harry had already thrown any dignity he had out the window. “I found some pills in his bag and googled them. I found out myself and called him on it. That's all.”

“That's all,” Harry repeated, swallowing and licking his lips. He wiped the sweat that was beginning to collect on his face with his hand. “I can't,” he sputtered. “I don't...” he looked over at Gemma, about to ask a question he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to. “How bad is it?” he asked slowly, still unable to comprehend the full weight of what was happening.

Gemma sighed and looked down at the ground. It was rare that his sister didn't make eye contact with him; which was how Harry knew it was bad before she said a single word. 

“It's terminal,” she finally said.

It was as if there was a ringing in Harry's ears after that. White noise filled his mind and clogged his lungs, making it hard for him to breathe.

He looked over at Gemma, who was standing there with a mixed look of concern and annoyance. And Niall wasn't even there. Harry couldn't even see him and yell at him or at least ask him why he'd kept that lovely little tidbit of information to himself. He couldn't hug him, he couldn't kiss him...

He darted out of the hospital, sprinting through the halls and nearly knocking over a woman.

“HARRY!” he heard Gemma shout at him, but he didn't stop. 

He pushed open the double doors. The cool air hit his lungs but it didn't slow him down. 

“Where are you going?!” Gemma called after him. It was a rhetorical question, because he wasn't actually headed anywhere. He just had to get away. Had to burn off this steam that kept accumulating in his chest.

He continued sprinting, Gemma hot on his heels until he had to slow down. Eventually he had to stop, leaning up against the side of the building, his face against the stone.

His fists were balled up again, held up beside his head and pressed against the wall. 

“Hazza,” Gemma said when she caught up to him, touching his back lightly.

“We have to go to Ireland,” he muttered against the wall, not moving from his position.

Gemma snorted. “We can't just pick up and go to Ireland,” she said.

“Why not?” Harry asked, gulping his feelings down his throat. He wasn't going to let himself cry. Not in front of his sister whom he was so angry with he could scream. “We picked up and went everywhere else.”

“That's not the same,” Gemma replied, her hands on her hips. “We planned all of those trips - “

“You think he planned to have cancer, Gemma?” Harry spat, turning his head to glare at her.

“We can't just show up there!” Gemma shouted back. “That is completely ridiculous, Harry! Do you understand how mad you sound right now? I'm sorry that he didn't tell you he was ill, he should have. I told him to, it was one of the first things I said to him when I found out about all of this. But he didn't, so tell me why you feel the need to follow him all the way home?”

“Because!” Harry yelled, pounding his fists against the brick wall, not caring how much pain that was causing him. “I'm in love with him!” He breathed hard as the words burst out of him. He couldn't have stopped them if he tried, Gemma hearing them at the same time as Harry finally understood them.

“I'm in love with him,” Harry repeated slower. The tears that had been brimming all morning finally started to fall and slide down his face. 

Gemma laughed just a little bit, wiping her own tears from her eyes. She shook her head as she looked at her brother. “You think I don't know that?” she asked.

Harry just looked at her, choking on his sadness and trying to gulp down sobs.

“You think I didn't see all of the looks between the two of you? The little touches? Why do you think I was so keen on getting the two of you your own room?”

Harry couldn't take it anymore. As quickly as he'd run out of the hospital, he grabbed onto his sister and hugged her. Clinging to her, he buried his head in her shoulder and sobbed.

“He's sick, Gemma,” he cried into her, not moving as she wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back. “He's sick and I need to go be with him. We _have_ to go to Ireland.”

Gemma just nodded as Harry continued to cry. “You're right,” she said, blinking rapidly as she tried to be strong for Harry. “We have to go to Ireland.”


	19. Chapter 19

_Ladies and Gentlemen, the captain has turned that seatbelt light on indicating we've begun our final decent into Dublin. Please refrain from moving about the cabin at this time – we should be on the ground within ten minutes._

Harry shifted in his seat and strained to look out the window. He and Gemma hadn't planned on coming to Ireland. It hadn't even come up when they were plotting out their trip as they were largely looking at the area on the other side of the UK.

He couldn't even fathom that now – looking at Ireland on the map and dismissing it entirely. Not even giving it a second thought.

Now he couldn't wait for the plane to land.

He tapped his feet as he pressed his face against the clear window, trying to see past the wing of the plane. There wasn't much to see – just a lot of green, some brown, all of it split up by what appeared to be roads. Standard landing fare, really.

Gemma leaned over his shoulder. “What's it look like?” she asked, trying to peer out the window herself.

“Nothing special,” Harry muttered, turning to sit normally again and looking down at his hands.

Gemma kept looking out the window for a couple of seconds before she leaned back into her own seat. Clearly she agreed with Harry, because she just nodded her head and started to read the in-flight magazine.

The landing was smooth but it couldn't have been more torturous. All Harry could think about was Niall. He went back and forth between being excited to see him, angry with him for not telling them and terrified because he was so ill.

He had no idea how Niall was going to react when he and Gemma showed up, seeing as he'd taken off without so much as a word to them. He'd also left his backpack in the hostel, which Harry had graciously packed up and lugged with him.

His mind was in such a haze that he hardly said another word as the plane landed and he and Gemma disembarked. They stood in line quietly at customs, and all the while Harry's mind was on Niall.

“What's the purpose of your trip?” the officer asked them, when they were finally able to step up to the desk for their turn.

“Visiting a friend,” Gemma said easily, knowing that Harry wasn't in the right frame of mind to be answering any questions.

“And how do you know this friend?”

Harry swallowed. “We met him in Rome,” he said slowly, looking at the guard with tired eyes. He just wanted to be let into the country so they could go to Niall's house and... well, Harry hadn't really figured out what he was going to do from there yet.

“And where are you staying?”

“Mullingar Park Hotel,” Gemma said quickly, glancing at Harry. She was always so on top of those things. She'd figured out exactly how to get to Niall's house when Harry had given her his address off of his phone while they'd been in the Cologne airport waiting for their flight.

“And for how long?”

Harry kept looking at her. He had no idea... it could've been weeks, or it could've been one day if Niall decided he absolutely didn't want to see them and kicked them out. 

“We're not sure to be honest, probably a couple of weeks. Our friend is ill and we've come to see him,” she explained, trying to put on the sweetest face possible.

The guard stamped both of their passports and handed them back to Harry and Gemma. “All good,” he said, waving them along. “Next.”

Gemma walked briskly over to the baggage claim, pulling Harry along. “Come on,” she said, “The bags are already moving.”

Harry sighed, picking up his suitcase off the carousel. A couple minutes later, Niall's backpack showed up, and he grabbed that as well, slinging it over his shoulder. “Tosser,” he muttered. “Just leaving his things with us to take care of.”

Gemma rolled her eyes as they walked through the airport. She looked up at the signs that would guide them to the bus stop outside. “You don't know what happened, Harry. He might not have had time to come get it. His mum might have made him leave. You don't know.”

“That's the problem, isn't it?” he continued to mumble, looking down at the ground as he followed his sister. “I didn't know anything.”

“We've been over this,” Gemma sighed, turning and pushing a door open. “There,” she said, changing the subject and pointing to a bus stop. “That's the bus that'll take us to Mullingar. Hurry up, will you?” she sped up her pace, walking briskly in order to catch the bus.

They made it, but barely. Gemma dropped what looked to be a whole wad of Euros into the money drop before she and Harry sat down just as the bus started to move.

Harry leaned his head against the glass and closed his eyes. He wanted to try and sleep, and he almost wondered how Niall had been able to sleep on the trains all those times. That is, until he remembered that he was ill and lying about it the entire time.

It made Harry tingle with anger all over again. He pictured himself showing up at Niall's house, barging in through the door and screaming in the blonde's face.

Niall would probably laugh it off, just like he laughed everything off. Harry absolutely hated that that was one of the things he'd loved most about him, because it was turning out to be Niall's biggest character flaw. Other than the cancer, obviously, but that wasn't exactly something he could have controlled.

“Harry,” Gemma nudged him, “Harry,” she said again, shaking him. “Get up you git, it's our stop next.”

“Hmmm.” Harry opened his eyes and looked out the window of the bus. Apparently he had been able to fall asleep. He supposed that was due to his lack of sleep the night before.

He and Gemma shuffled off the bus, carrying their things along the street as Gemma looked down at her phone. “Yeah, his house should be along here,” she said after a few minutes of them walking. They turned down a road full of small, white houses. The neighbourhood looked old, but it also looked very family-oriented. There were children playing in the streets and in the small yards outside the front of the houses.

Not exactly where Harry pictured Niall living, but then again he'd never really pictured him staying put in any place.

“721,” Gemma said, glancing up. “This is it,” she looked at Harry, offering him a supportive smile.

Harry drew in a breath as the two of them walked up the sidewalk. He glanced at Gemma, but she just nodded her head towards the doorbell. He supposed it was only fair he take the reins from here on out – after all he was the one who had spearheaded this whole mission.

So he pressed on it, hearing the familiar ringing sound dulled inside this unfamiliar house.

Harry's heart started to pound in his chest as he waited. Then, the sound of footsteps. Finally, the door opened. Standing there was the small blonde woman that Harry recognized from Niall's phone. Harry and Gemma stepped back a little.

“Yes?” she asked, knitting her eyebrows as she looked at them. “Can I help you?”

Harry glanced over at Gemma, but she kept her mouth shut. He looked back at Niall's mum. “I uh... we're here to see Niall.”

Her eyebrows were still knitted, possibly even more so now that they'd mentioned her son. “I'm sorry, who are you?”

Harry swallowed and took a deep breath. There really was only one way to describe himself. “This is Gemma, and I'm Harry, I'm uh... Niall's boyfriend...”

Niall's mum was obviously taken aback by that statement, the look on her face changing from inquisitive to just plain confused. “Boyfriend?” she repeated as though the word was foreign to her.

Harry pressed his lips together and looked at her apologetically. She clearly had no idea of Niall's preference, and now that Harry took a moment to think about it he vaguely remembered Niall alluding to that back when they'd first kissed. 

“Yeah,” Harry finally said. “Sorry, I just... he left without saying anything. I didn't know he was ill...”

She sighed, looking at Harry sadly. She stepped away from the door, motioning for the two of them to come inside. “Likes to keep things to himself, that one,” she shook her head, closing the door once Harry and Gemma managed to get into the hallway with all of their bags. “He's asleep right now, but it's been a while so you can probably go wake him up. His room is in the loft upstairs,” she pointed over to the set of stairs just past where they were standing. “I'll put on some tea,” she said, hurrying off to the kitchen. 

“I'll help you with that,” Gemma said, following Niall's mum and giving Harry a look.

Harry glanced up at the stairs. He shoved his hands into his pockets before walking up them. With every step he tried to think about what he would say, but his mind kept coming up blank.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected to see when he pushed open the door to Niall's room. The curtains were closed and it was dark. There were a few football posters hanging from the walls, an acoustic guitar propped up in the corner. 

And laying in a pile of blankets on the bed was the object of his affection.

Harry's mouth turned down as he stepped towards him. He didn't look sick – not at all. There was no medical equipment or any indication he had a terminal illness. Just a boy taking a nap because he'd worn himself out over the last few months.

He sat down in the middle of the bed and placed his hand on Niall's back. Niall sighed a bit and Harry just sat there and watched him. All the thoughts he'd had about wanting to shout at Niall were gone. Now he just wanted to hear his voice again.

After a couple minutes Niall blinked his eyes open. He glanced up at Harry, his blue eyes growing wide. He didn't say anything – the look of shock on his face said it all.

Harry just licked his lips. “Why didn't you tell me you were ill?” he asked, keeping his voice soft and calm.

Niall looked at him, searching his face. His mouth was turned down and it broke Harry's heart. This wasn't the boy he knew, this wasn't the boy he'd fallen in love with. The fire in his spirit was gone. “I can't believe she told you,” Niall muttered, looking down at his dark bedsheets. 

“I can't believe _you_ didn't,” Harry replied sharper than he would have liked. He softened again, his hand rubbing Niall's back slightly. “I thought we were... I thought we were close, Niall.”

“We are,” Niall stressed, sitting up in bed. The comforter was still wrapped around him, but that didn't stop him from snuggling up to Harry and placing his head on his shoulder.

“Obviously not,” Harry shrugged, beginning to feel a little annoyed. He'd come all this way and Niall was still holding everything inside. “It's kind of a big deal.”

“Yeah,” Niall scoffed, looking down. “That's what everyone says. I didn't tell you,” Niall said, nudging Harry a bit. “I didn't tell anyone I met that I was ill because I didn't want to be,” he mumbled the last words as though he was embarrassed by them.

Harry looked back at Niall sadly and kissed him on the forehead.

Niall shrugged, still staring down at his bedsheets and tracing his finger on them a little. “They told me I had six months left and I didn't want to spend it here waiting to die.”

Even though Harry's eyes hurt from crying so much that day already, he felt the tears starting to build up again. “That's why you were travelling,” he said. He couldn't believe he hadn't put it together until right then. “But Niall, you should have told us. I mean, God...”

“I know,” Niall said, nodding his head feverishly as he looked at Harry. “I just didn't expect to meet someone and start travelling. I had just been going at it alone.”

The thought of that made Harry even more upset. He jumped off of Niall's bed and paced back and forth for a moment. Niall had been lucky that him and Gemma had been there with him – especially as things had started to go downhill. “What were you planning to do?” Harry asked, raising his voice a little bit as he pictured Niall all by himself in a foreign country. “Die on the side of the road in Barcelona? On the steps in Germany?”

Niall shrugged. “I don't know,” he muttered. “I just had to do it,” he said. His eyes were almost pleading as he gazed up at Harry. Like he was begging for Harry to understand where he was coming from. “I promised my mum I'd come home when things got worse,” he mumbled the last couple of words. “She showed up in Cologne and dragged me home. I had her information on me all the time.”

“You're damn well lucky,” Harry said, rolling his eyes.

“Lucky?!” Niall shot back, looking angry for the first time since Harry had stepped into his room. “I'm _dying_ Harry. I'm only nineteen years old. I'd hardly call that luck. Bullshit.”

“You know what I meant,” Harry said, not buying into Niall's guilt trip.

“What are you even doing here?” Niall continued, not caring to hear Harry's rant about how foolish he'd been. He was already well aware. “You should be back out there seeing the world. Nothing to see here in Mullingar,” he rolled his eyes and bit at his lip.

Harry sighed. As hard as he tried, he couldn't be angry with Niall. “You're here,” Harry said softly, sitting back down on the bed beside him. “And as long as you're here, I'm not leaving.”

Niall looked up at Harry, his eyes searching Harry's face as they glassed over with tears. Finally he wrapped his arms around Harry, clinging to him as he started to sob into his chest.

Harry held onto him, breathing heavily as he tried to hold back his own tears. Throughout this whole ordeal, Harry would recall that afternoon as the only time he saw Niall cry.


	20. Chapter 20

Niall pulled away from Harry, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. Harry looked down at him with concern, but he didn't say anything. Instead he waited for him to catch his breath.

And he did. Eventually Niall's breathing slowed down and he looked up at Harry with his signature wide smile. His eyes crinkled at the sides, even though they were still red-rimmed at wet with tears.

“Let's go downstairs, yeah?” Niall suggested, his voice still a bit raw from his sobs just minutes ago.

Harry nodded, leaning in to kiss Niall's forehead. “Yeah, all right.”

They got up and Niall pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that were lying in a heap on the floor. He ran a hand through his hair before nodding at Harry.

As they made their way down the stairs Harry could hear Gemma's unmistakeable laughter coming from the kitchen. 

“It was mad,” Gemma was saying to Niall's mum as the two of them sat at the kitchen table. “I've never seen anyone get so worked up over a football match in my entire life.”

Niall's mum was smiling as she listened to Gemma's story. She looked up at Harry and Niall as they entered the room, obviously noticing them. “He does love his football, no matter the team.” She smiled, raising her eyebrows as she made eye contact with her son.

Niall rolled his eyes. “Rubbish, mum. Not United.”

She still smiled as she stood up from her chair. She walked over to Harry and Niall and wrapped both of them in a tight hug. Harry glanced over at Niall, narrowing his eyes and smiling sort of awkwardly. As if to ask him why his mother was randomly hugging him. Niall just rolled his eyes and shrugged a little bit, but he still hugged his mum back.

“It sounds like the three of you had quite the trip,” she smiled, looking at Niall and then looking at Harry. “I'm Maura, by the way,” she said, patting Harry on the shoulder.

“Right,” Harry said, still feeling somewhat awkward at how nice Niall's mum was being. “Hi.”

“And you,” she said, turning to Niall and lightly smacking him on the back of his head. “You never told me you were seeing someone.”

“Ow!” Niall rubbed the back of his head with his hand, glaring at his mum and then glancing at Harry. “What?” he looked at Harry, his face turning red.

Harry looked sort of sheepish, shrugging his shoulders with a bit of an apologetic smirk on his face. He'd forgotten that he'd inadvertently outed Niall to his mum when they'd shown up.

“Oh stop it,” she said, giving Niall a look. “I don't care,” she stressed, looking at him. “I just would've like to have known, hmm? Before he showed up here.”

“Right, yeah, sorry,” Niall muttered, looking down at his feet and rocking on them. “Didn't know he was going to do that,” he said, giving Harry a look.

“Wouldn't have had to do that if you wouldn't have left without saying anything,” Harry said, tossing that look right back at Niall.

“Doesn't matter,” Maura cut in, glancing at the two of them. “You're here now. Where are you planning to stay?”

“Mullingar Park,” Gemma piped up from her seat at the table and Maura glanced back at her. “Speaking of that, Harry we'll have to go take our things there and check in.”

“Nonsense,” Maura said, putting her hand up. “Call the hotel and cancel your reservation. You'll stay here.”

“You don't have to-” Gemma started, shaking her head and looking at her. Harry glared at her – if Maura wanted them to stay, he'd take all the time with Niall he could get.

Luckily Maura was on the same page. “I insist,” she said firmly, placing her arm around Niall again. “This house has been far too quiet for the past few months.”

“Well, thanks,” Gemma said quietly, making eye contact with Harry.

Harry got the hint. “Yeah,” he said with a nod, looking at Niall's mum. It was obvious where Niall's extroverted personality came from. “Thanks.”

“Now,” she said, clapping her hands together and still looking at the two of them. “Tea? It's already in the pot. Red Berry,” she smiled looking at Niall.

“None for me,” Niall said, moving to sit over at the table.

“ _Niall_ ,” she said firmly, looking at him.

“Fine,” he sighed.

She looked over at Harry, who eagerly nodded his head. After the day he'd had, he could certainly use a calming cup of tea. He watched as Maura walked over to the counter.

“You don't have to do that, Mum,” Niall said, following her and lightly shoving her out of the way. “I'll get it.”

She looked at him but nodded, sitting back down at the table in front of her own cup. Harry sat down as well, looking at the old wooden furniture. For the first time since he'd arrived, he took a moment to look at the house.

It was small, which he supposed made sense given it was just Niall and Maura who lived there. The kitchen was standard enough. It was on the opposite end of the house, facing the front door. There was a table with only four chairs sitting in across from the stove and countertop, where Niall was busy fixing their tea.

“There's a guest room down the hall,” Maura said, pointing to the left. “You can stay in there, Gemma. Harry, you can stay with Niall if you'd like.”

Harry didn't really know what to say to that, so he just nodded along as Niall placed a mug of tea in front of him. He glanced down at the liquid in the cup, thinking back to the first morning in Rome when Niall had prepared him breakfast. “I'm nervous,” he quipped, grinning up at Niall.

Niall laughed, walking back over to the counter to grab the teapot and place it in the middle of the table. He sat down with his own mug of tea and looked at Harry. “Don't worry,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “My Mum makes a good cup of tea.”

Harry smiled, taking a sip from his cup. Niall was right – it was pretty good. Clearly not a trait that she'd passed down to her son. 

“That's a lovely teapot,” Gemma gushed, breaking the silence at the table as she studied it. It was cream coloured with the names of different types of tea written in calligraphy all around it.

“Oh thank you,” Maura said, picking it up and pouring more tea into her mug. “It's quite old, actually. I got it on a family trip to London when the boys were just little.”

“I love London,” Niall grinned, looking down at his mug and wrapping his hands around it. “Wanted to move there for Uni, actually.”

Harry bit his lip and looked at Niall. He had no idea how to respond to something like that now. Now that it wasn't going to be a possibility for him at all.

But Gemma had it covered. “Where would you go?” she asked.

“Oxford,” Niall nodded. “Was going to study sound engineering, I think. Before... then, yeah,” he said with a bit of a sigh, staring down into his nearly full mug of tea.

Harry watched him and it broke his heart. He hardly recognized this defeated boy who was sitting at the table with him. He supposed it made sense – when they were travelling Niall had been able to pretend that none of it had been real. Now that he was at home, the reality of the situation was beginning to hit him.

And as Harry watched Niall take a small sip of his tea before setting his mug down again, he vowed that he wouldn't let Niall spend the time he had left miserably. That as long as he was here he was going to do his job as the boyfriend and make Niall's last days as enjoyable as he could. No matter if they were stuck in Mullingar or if they were travelling the world.

“Niall,” Maura said softly, leaning down to look at him. “Why don't you show Harry and Gemma around a little bit?”

Niall raised his eyebrow. “Not much to see here.”

“Could go down to the river,” she suggested, looking over at Gemma. “It's quite lovely. Especially at night, there are these lights all around it.”

Niall shrugged and looked over at Harry. “It is quite nice I suppose, yeah.”

“Could also go over to Belvedere House,” Maura said.

“Yeah, could do that,” Niall nodded, staring down at his tea. He dipped his finger into it and brought it to his lips, sucking on it a little. Maura looked at him and pursed her lips together, but she didn't say anything. Harry wondered briefly if she would have if Niall weren't dying.

“Well, get cleaned up then and get going,” she smiled, getting up from the table and placing her mug into the sink. “Supper will be on in a couple of hours.”

“Not hungry,” Niall muttered.

“Well I'm sure your friends are,” Maura said, dismissing Niall as she walked out of the kitchen. “In the meantime, please try to have a good day.”

Niall sighed and looked at Harry and Gemma. “Well, you heard her,” he said slowly, standing up and walking over to the sink. He dumped out the tea in his mug and rinsed it before setting it down. “Let's go look around, then.”

“We don't have to,” Harry said slowly, looking over at his sister. He didn't want to force Niall into anything, and he clearly didn't look keen on going anywhere.

Or maybe that was the problem. The places he was keen on going, he couldn't any longer. “No,” Niall said, nodding his head and forcing a smile on his face. “Let's go. Better than lazing around here.”

* * *

“Mum's right,” Niall said as he, Harry and Gemma stood near the bridge that stretched over the river. “River's nicer at night, but there it is.”

Harry nodded, looking out at it. He gripped Niall's hand tightly. The very small silver lining to this horrible day was that at least now he didn't have to hide his affection for Niall from his sister. He and Niall had walked hand-in-hand all the way over to the river from his house, and it had been quite lovely.

As though nothing had changed, Gemma pulled out her camera and started taking pictures. Harry supposed that was for the best. They hadn't planned on coming to Ireland, but since they were there they might as well have made the most of it.

She took a few more pictures of the river before pointing the lens at Harry and Niall. “Aww,” she cooed, snapping a photo of the two of them standing with their hands intertwined. “ _My hands, your hands, tied up like two ships,_ ” she sang lightly, a smile on her face.

“Heh,” Niall laughed a bit, his cheeks turning pink as he looked up at Harry. “Love that song.”

Harry gave Niall and Gemma a bit of a confused look as she took a couple more pictures. One of them, Harry was pretty sure, she took with her camera completely zoomed in on their apparent tied up hands. “Don't know that one,” he said.

“What?” Niall gaped at him, while Gemma just rolled her eyes.

“Excuse him,” she said. “He doesn't know anything that's in the top 40. It's from some group off X Factor, Haz,” she said, shaking her head. Then she looked back out at the lake. “Let's go up on the bridge and take some pictures from there.” She rushed off, walking in front of the two of them towards the stone bridge.

Niall and Harry followed a few feet behind her, taking their time while she walked briskly. Harry glanced over at Niall, who was staring up at the cloudy sky with a calm expression on his face. 

“I'm sorry I just took off,” he said, glancing up at Harry. “Mum just said I had no choice now but to come home. But I should have told her that I needed to say goodbye to you.”

Harry nodded. Niall was right – he probably should have told them. But he could understand why he didn't. At least, thinking about it from Niall's point of view he could. If their roles had been switched he wasn't sure he could have gone for so long keeping the secret, let alone just leaving him to wonder what had happened.

Niall squeezed Harry's hand tight. “But I'm really glad you're here,” he said seriously, nodding his head a bit as he looked at Harry. “Thank you.”

“There's nowhere else I'd rather be,” Harry said softly, feeling his chest tighten for what felt like the millionth time that day. Unfortunately he knew things were just going to get harder from here on out. But it was true what he said – he wasn't going to leave Niall to deal with this all alone. “I -”

“Hurry up!!” Gemma called to them, turning around and placing her hands on her hips. 

Niall laughed and leaned over to kiss Harry on the cheek before breaking away. “We'll come back here at night,” he said with a wink before walking quicker towards Gemma. 

Harry just smiled for a moment before speeding up to catch up to the two of them. It was probably a good thing that Gemma had cut him off. He was about to tell Niall he loved him which probably wouldn't have been the best idea. They'd only known each other for a few months and even though time was running out, it was still too soon for a confession like that.

Still, it was in the back of Harry's mind as he looked at the blonde boy. After all, love was the only reason he was about to put himself through the inevitable heartbreak that was to come.


	21. Chapter 21

Harry awoke the next morning to an intrusive buzzing sound. He rolled over, his arm draping over Niall.

It had been an early night for all of them, falling asleep around 9:30pm – shortly after supper. Not surprising after the tiring day it had been. Travelling from Cologne and having everything that had been kept inside come rushing out like a spilling mess.

Harry and Niall had been so tired that they'd only kissed lazily for a few minutes before cuddling up to each other and falling asleep. 

“Mmm,” Niall muttered, reaching over and slamming his hand against his bedside after a few times before finally hitting the snooze button on his alarm clock. He kept his eyes closed and cuddled up closer to Harry.

Harry wrapped his arms around him and just as he was about to succumb to sleep again, there were footsteps rushing up the stairs.

And then there was a loud knock on the door.

“Niall,” he heard Maura's voice come through the door. “We're going to the doctor. I hope you're awake.”

“Ugh,” Niall muttered, opening his eyes lazily and rolling over so he was on top of Harry. “Yeh'm awake,” he called out, glancing over at the closed door.

Oh, right. Harry had completely forgotten about that. Niall's appointment with his oncologist that he'd set the alarm for the night before. “Do you want me to go with you?” Harry asked, wrapping his arms around Niall's waist. He kissed his shoulder and opened his eyes sightly, blinking a few times to try and focus.

Niall shook his head, kissing Harry on the cheek and stumbling out of bed. Harry sat up and watched as Niall dug around on his messy floor for something to wear before finally settling on a crinkled up pair of jeans and a t-shirt that had only been worn for a day or so. “Nah. Gonna be boring. Probably just run some tests and get some new medication and-

Niall stopped short, putting his forehead in his hand and sitting back down on the edge of the bed. Harry sat up with worry, rubbing Niall's arm with his hand.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“Yeh,” Niall said quickly, nodding his head through his heavy breathing. He rubbed his face a bit before running a hand through his hair. “Just in a bit of pain. Doctor will help with that, I suppose,” he laughed, looking at Harry with a grin.

Harry had to force everything he had to respond to that smile. Inside, he was screaming. Niall was obviously in more pain than he let on. How long had this been going on for while they'd been travelling? If only he would have known about it. Not that he could have done anything, but it killed him to know that Niall might have been suffering in silence.

“It wasn't this bad before,” Niall said, looking at Harry as if he knew what he was thinking.

Harry just nodded and looked at Niall because he didn't know what to say. 

“Suppose I should be off before Mum comes back,” Niall said, leaning over and kissing Harry again. “When I come back we'll go to this little place I love for breakfast, yeah? Like we used to?”

Harry nodded. That sounded nice – even if “like we used to” really meant only a couple of months ago. Back to when they first met and used to do that all the time. Back before Harry knew that Niall was just trying to grasp onto every precious minute of every day.

Suddenly those spontaneous breakfasts seemed all the more important.

Niall stood up and shoved his wallet into his jeans. He grabbed a snapback from the pile of a few that were sitting on his dresser and glanced at Harry. “See you in a bit,” he smiled, waving at him.

“Yeah,” Harry replied, laying back down in the bed. He wasn't so sure he'd be able to go back to sleep, but he certainly was going to try.

* * *

“Rubbish,” Niall practically shouted as he and Maura walked through the front door a couple of hours later. Harry hadn't really been sleeping, just half dozing off in the bedroom ever since Niall had left. But he was certainly awake now. “I can walk. Walking just fine.”

Harry rubbed his eyes and sat up. He quickly pulled on his clothes from yesterday, deciding that wearing something clean was less important than whatever was happening downstairs.

So he shuffled out of the room and headed down to the main level.

“No one is saying you can't walk,” Maura sighed, putting her hands on her hips. Harry just stood on the stairs watching the two of them. It wasn't difficult to figure out what they were arguing about, seeing as there was a folded up wheelchair leaning up against the wall. “Dr. Ryan recommended that you take it slower, and this will help you.”

“I don't want to take it slower,” Niall stressed, glaring at his mum and then glaring over at the chair in the corner. “This is fucking bullshit if you ask me.”

“Don't use that language in my house,” Maura warned him. “It's just for when you go out – when you're around here you don't need to use it.”

“Don't need to use it at all,” Niall muttered, arms crossed over his chest.

“The point is to conserve energy, and you need to do that,” she said.

It was at this point that Harry decided he should make his presence known, feeling slightly awkward at watching Niall argue with his mum. “Hey Niall, good morning,” he said, forcing a smile on his face as he walked down the rest of the steps and into the front hall. 

“Hi Harry,” Niall replied, still looking annoyed.

“You about ready to go for that breakfast you promised me, then?” he grinned, placing a hand on Niall's shoulder. “I'll push you all the way there.”

Niall took a deep breath and pressed his mouth together. He exhaled through his nose, but he didn't say anything as he looked at Harry. 

“I mean,” Harry shrugged as thought it was no big deal. “Gotta save some energy so we can go see the river at night, right? You said we could do that.”

Niall looked at him, his face softening a little bit. Harry just continued to smile, giving him a little bit of an encouraging nod.

“Fine,” Niall said finally, admitting defeat as he glanced over at his mum. “I'm going to the loo and then we can go.” He walked off towards the bathroom, hands in his pockets.

“Thank you,” Maura said, giving Harry a grateful smile before she walked into the kitchen. “He is impossible sometimes.”

Harry just laughed as he tried to smooth out his hair. He didn't think so. Niall was stubborn, sure, but that was one of the things that Harry found most endearing about him. He didn't give up on anything. Which was why this whole situation must have been driving him mad.

* * *

“Turn at this street here, yeh,” Niall said as Harry pushed him along the sidewalk on their way to breakfast. Mullingar was nice, actually. It was small and a lot of the buildings were made of brick. It had an interesting atmosphere to it that Harry really enjoyed.

That was likely in part because of the few people who had recognized Niall and stopped to talk to him. Just standard things, really. They'd asked him how his trip was and how his mum was doing. Commented that they hadn't seen him in a while and that he must have had a lovely time seeing the world.

It was then than Harry began to realise how small this town truly was. Everyone was friendly, sure. And no one had mentioned Niall's illness or the fact that he was being pushed around in a wheelchair, which Harry thought was especially nice. 

But it was no wonder that Niall had wanted to get out and see the world. His personality was far too big for a place this small.

“It's just over there,” Niall pointed down the road. “That sign – Brioche Cafe.”

Harry nodded, continuing to walk towards it. He looked down at Niall's head. His blonde tipped hair was poking out of the bottom of his hat. It was actually quite cute, and Harry smiled to himself as he lost himself in it.

“Going to push me into a hole,” Niall said, cutting into Harry's thoughts.

“Oops,” Harry laughed, swerving him away from the the large crack in the sidewalk that was just ahead of him. “You're a bit of a backseat driver, aren't you?” he laughed.

“I prefer navigator, actually,” Niall grinned, turning his head around and raising his eyebrows at Harry. 

Harry also decided at this point that Niall's profile was adorable as well. Not that he didn't already know that, but he took a little more time to actually look at it and appreciate it.

“It's here, yeah,” Niall said as Harry turned them into the cafe. 

It was a busy place, which made sense considering it was 10 in the morning. Prime hour for brunch. Harry pushed Niall off to the side of the front waiting area, and he leaned against the wall beside him. They didn't have to hang out for very long, because a waitress came over to greet them almost instantly.

“Niall Horan!” she grinned, a soft smile spreading across her face. She was short, blonde and looked to be about their age. If Harry had to guess, he'd say that this was one of Niall's friends.

“Hi Holly,” Niall smiled, looking up at her. She bent down and hugged him tightly, hanging on for a few moments before finally pulling away. “It's so good to see you, I didn't know you were back in town.”

Niall shrugged his shoulders. Even if Niall was overly extroverted and loved connecting with people, Harry was sure all this extra attention was bothering him. But if it was, he wasn't showing it at all. He just smiled at everyone who stopped to say hello to him, laughing and smiling like everything was normal. Which, Harry supposed, was probably the best thing he could have done.

“Just got back yesterday, actually,” he smiled, looking up at her. “Brought someone back too. Holly, this is Harry.”

“Hello, Holly,” Harry smiled, holding out his hand for Holly to shake.

She did. “Hello... are you two...?” she asked, eyeing the two of them suspiciously.

“Yeh,” Niall said, blushing a little bit as he glanced up at Harry. “Holly was my wife in primary school,” Niall explained, wiggling his eyebrows. “So that's why she looks a bit jealous.”

“I'm not jealous you twat,” she replied, swatting Niall's arm a little bit. “Let me find you lads a nice table, I think there's one by the window. It's supposed to be reserved but...” she winked, motioning for them to follow her.

Harry held out his hand for Niall to take and when he did he pulled Niall up, smiling at him and kissing him on the forehead. 

“You can just leave that there,” Holly said, pointing behind Harry and Niall to the chair. “Don't worry about it.”

They nodded, following Holly hand-in-hand over to the table. Harry pulled out a chair for Niall, and Niall gave him a bit of an odd look as he sat down in it. Harry shrugged, he was just trying to be a little bit chivalrous.

Once the two of them were seated, Holly handed them menus. “The eggs benny is amazing,” she suggested before walking off.

Harry peered through the menu for a minute before settling on what he was going to order. Then he looked up at Niall, who had clearly already decided because he had his menu off to the side already.

“So,” Harry started, a smirk on his face. “You had a wife, then?”

Niall burst out laughing, the same loud and infectious laugh that had travelled all through Europe with him. It was nice to finally hear it again. “Yeh,” he said, shaking his head and still grinning. “You know how that is when you're young. She asked me actually, planned out the whole wedding with her friends before realising that she needed a groom. I really just did it as a favour, you know. To be nice.”

“Only you would marry someone just to be nice,” Harry chuckled as another girl came by and handed them two glasses of water.

“Are you ready to order, then?” she asked, pulling out a pad of paper and a pen.

“Uh, yeah,” Harry said, looking down at his menu “I'll have the french toast and a cup of earl grey tea... Niall?”

“Eggs benny,” Niall said easily, handing her his menu. “And tea, Red Berry.”

“Of course,” the woman laughed, taking Harry's menu as well. “I should have known.” She walked away and Harry turned back to Niall.

“You really know everyone, don't you?”

Niall shrugged. “I suppose so, yeah. I also used to come here a lot.”

Harry nodded. He wondered if Niall actually loved breakfast a lot or if he had just gotten up early all those days to try and make the most of his time. “Everyone keeps asking about your trip,” he commented instead, not really wanting to go into the details of what Niall must have been thinking and feeling.

“Yeh,” Niall shrugged. “I'm sure my mum told everyone what I was doing once I left. She probably wanted to make sure everyone knew I was still alive,” he laughed, but Harry's face stayed serious.

“It's a joke, mate, come on,” Niall smiled, taking a small sip of his water before setting his glass back down. “Don't need to pretend like it's not happening... not anymore, I suppose,” he smiled again.

“Everyone knows, then,” Harry said slowly. He was sure that was the case, but he felt the need to confirm it.

“News travels fast around here. Why do you think I was so keen on getting out?” Niall laughed, tracing his finger a little bit on the patten on the table. “No more strangers who haven't talked to me in years asking me if I was all right or how I was feeling.”

“How _are_ you feeling?” Harry asked, unable to stop himself. Because Niall was finally opening up to him, and it seemed like he really did want to talk. In his own jovial Niall way.

Niall shrugged. “Scared,” he admitted after a moment, looking straight into Harry's eyes. But then he leaned back in his chair and nodded to himself. “But I'm all right.”

Harry placed his hand over top of Niall's and gave him a small smile. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Niall shrugged as he looked down at his water glass. “Not much to say, really. I was sick when I was sixteen, did all the chemo and everything and they said it was all gone. Then I started having back pains a year later, went to the doctor and found out I had six months left. How fucked up is that?” he asked, shaking his head a little bit.

“And that's when you decided to travel?” Harry asked, ignoring Niall's question. The answer was obvious – of course it was fucked up. The entire situation was fucked up. But sitting there complaining about it wasn't going to help. Harry knew that, and it was obvious Niall knew it too.

“Yeh,” Niall said with a slight laugh. “I didn't feel that sick, other than the pain. I told my mum I wanted to backpack around the world the day after I got diagnosed.”

“She took that surprisingly well,” Harry commented, figuring that was the case. After all, Niall's travels were the reason he was sitting there across from him.

But Niall scoffed. “Are you mad?” he laughed. “She told me there was no bloody way in hell,” he said, changing his voice to be higher so he could imitate his mum, “that I was going to jet off across the world when I was that ill.”

“But you did,” Harry said, stating the obvious.

“Well, yeah,” Niall laughed again. It didn't look spiteful either. It looked as though he was genuinely able to laugh about it now. “I mean, we argued about it. But I told her that I needed to do it and that this literally was my only chance to do it. So she got me a calling plan and gave me my university fund and made me promise to ring her every day. I admit I was shit at that part,” he said, shrugging his shoulders just as the waitress placed their meals in front of them. “Thanks Katie,” he said, grinning up at the waitress. “This looks great.”

“Oh Niall,” she smiled, patting his back before walking away. 

“It really does,” Harry said, looking down at his massive plate of French toast before cutting into it and shoving a large bite into his mouth. “I still can't believe you just went off on your own like that,” Harry said, shaking his head.

“Neither can I to be honest,” Niall laughed, taking a small bite of his breakfast and chewing on it thoughtfully. “But that's what dying does to you. Sort of makes you realise that you only have one life, however long it is.”

Harry nodded, continuing to shovel food into his mouth. He hadn't realised how hungry he was until that moment. He and Niall continued to eat in silence, though Niall was doing less eating than Harry. He was taking small bites and chewing them slowly, pushing food around on his plate as he went.

He couldn't believe how well Niall was taking all of this. In fact, Harry still wasn't sure that it had all sunk in for him yet. It had only been yesterday when he'd found out that Niall was ill. Though he supposed Niall had been struggling with this on his own for quite some time – so he'd been able to come to terms with it as best he could. 

Harry finished the rest of his meal in record time. Katie came back to clear his plate and he sipped at his tea as Niall continued to eat. He actually didn't look as though he was really enjoying it – but just eating because he desperately wanted to. 

He finished his tea and Niall was still only half done his meal, looking full and sort of sick.

“Hey Niall,” Harry said softly, looking at him. “Let's go back to your place, yeah? I'd kind of like to have a shower.”

Niall just looked down at his plate, eventually setting his fork down. “Alright, yeah. It is sort of warm in here,” he chuckled a bit.

The two of them walked over to the front where Niall pulled out his wallet in an attempt to pay for the meal. 

“What're you doing?” Holly asked him, raising her eyebrow. “Put that away.”

“I'm going to pay for my meal, Holly,” Niall said seriously, pulling out some money.

“I'm going to pay for your meal, because the two of you were absolutely adorable sitting over there. Consider it a wedding present, you know, since I never got you one before,” she laughed.

Niall gave her a look, but eventually he stuffed his wallet back into his pocket. “All right, cool. Thanks, Holly.”

“See you around, Nialler,” she winked, picking up two menus and showing a different couple to their table.

Niall turned around and gave Harry a bit of a half smile. He actually sat back down in the wheelchair on his own accord, which was yet another indication to Harry that he wasn't feeling all that great.

“Nialler?” Harry asked with a bit of a sarcastic tone to his voice as they left the cafe and he pushed him down the sidewalk back to the house. “You never told me you had a nickname.”

Niall shrugged. “Yeh, everybody calls me Nialler except for my mum. I think my brother made it up.”

They walked along in silence, Harry mostly remembering the way back to the house on his own, with a couple of small hints from Niall. When they got back Niall stood up to walk into the house on his own, and Harry folded up the chair and set it in the corner.

They walked into the kitchen where Gemma was sitting, eating a sandwich and playing around on her phone.

“Morning, Gem,” Niall said quickly before walking over to the bathroom and slamming the door.

“Morning,” Gemma replied, giving a bit of a look in the direction of the door. She glanced up at Harry. “Where'd the two of you go?”

“Breakfast,” Harry said, before he winced at the sound of Niall obviously throwing up in the bathroom. “Sort of like we used to,” he mumbled, looking down at the ground.

Gemma nodded and stood up, offering him a hug. Which Harry accepted, wrapping his arms around his sister while cringing at the noises that Niall was still making in the background.

“It's not going to be the same, is it?” he sighed.

Gemma shook her head. “It's not, but we can't change it. So we've just got to put on a brave face, hm?”

Harry nodded, still hugging her tightly. He heard Niall flush the toilet and after a few minutes he emerged from the bathroom, walking into the kitchen. He gave the two of them a half-hearted smile when he saw their embrace, wrapping his arms around the both of them.

Harry laughed a little, swallowing down his tears. Niall, it seemed, was putting on the bravest face of them all.


	22. Chapter 22

They didn't make it down to the river that night. 

In fact, a week went by and every night Niall was asleep by 7:30pm. He eyelids would often droop after dinner, after having pushed the food around on his plate and eating three or four bites.

He tried to fight it, of course.

The first night they were sat in front of the telly with the excuse that he just needed to digest his food before going back out. Niall was asleep on the sofa within minutes. After letting him snooze there for a bit, Harry carried him up to his room, kissing him on the forehead before leaving him to sleep for the night.

The next couple of nights Maura suggested they have tea after dinner. They sat in the kitchen, trading stories and laughing. Niall was uncharacteristically quiet the whole time. Sometimes he'd put his head down in his arms and fall asleep that way. Other times he'd nearly fall asleep by leaning back in his chair, much like Harry was sure he had when he'd been in school.

All of these times Harry would give Gemma a bit of a sad look and then finally sigh and take Niall up to his room.

After a week or so of this, Niall had finally begun to accept his new sleeping patten. He simply stretched out his arms after supper and looked at his mum.

“Thanks,” he said, standing up and setting his plate on the counter. “Food was good. Goin' to sleep now,” he said simply, leaving the kitchen and walking slowly up to his room.

Maura sighed, looking at him as he walked towards the stairs. She glanced at his plate of food that was mostly untouched. “Goodnight,” she said.

Harry stood up from the table and quickly set his own plate on the counter as well. “I'm gonna,” he said, pointing towards Niall. “Yeah,” he muttered, before following Niall to his room.

“Not a boy of many words, is he?” Maura smiled a little bit, looking at Gemma.

Gemma shrugged. “Not really.”

“Good match the two of them are, then,” she said, standing up and proceeding to clean up.

Harry pretended to not hear their exchange as he walked up the stairs to Niall's room. Yes, the two of them actually were quite a good match. It frustrated him so much because if they weren't then all of this would be easier. Then he wouldn't be so attached to Niall and he wouldn't feel the need to stay and stick this out until the bitter end.

But when he opened the door to Niall's room and saw his small body laying in his bed atop the mess of blankets, his heart jumped into his throat. He couldn't even imagine not being attached to Niall and he didn't know what he was going to do when-

“Harry,” Niall said softly, opening one of his eyes. 

“Yeah,” Harry said slowly, walking over to him and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Sorry I'm not a good host,” he mumbled, obviously fighting to stay awake.

“You're an excellent host,” Harry said, rubbing the back of Niall's head softly. Letting his hair poke through the spaces in between his fingers.

“Mmm,” was all Niall could say, in a tone that meant he obviously disagreed.

“Come on,” Harry said, shuffling over a little bit and tugging at the comforter. Niall rolled over so he was off of it, and Harry draped it over here. “There you go,” he said with a bit of a smile.

“Thanks,” Niall muttered, rolling over to face Harry again. “Night,” he said quietly, before falling asleep almost instantly.

“Night,” Harry replied, kissing him on the cheek and standing up. He stood there for a couple of moments, just content to watch Niall breathe. He headed towards the door and glanced back at him, as if to reassure himself that Niall was only sleeping, and that he'd be awake again in the morning.

Then, he headed back downstairs.

Maura and Gemma were doing dishes in the kitchen, Maura washing and handing them to Gemma to dry. Harry sighed a little bit. Spending every evening with his sister and Niall's mum obviously wasn't his ideal situation, but it wasn't like he had much of a choice. 

“You can help me dry,” Gemma said, turning back to look at Harry. “There's extra towels in the drawer,” she pointed to her left.

Harry nodded, opening the drawer and pulling out a blue dish towel. He picked up a plate off the the rack and proceeded to dry it, not bothering to make much conversation. 

But of course Gemma was always chatty. “He's asleep then?” she asked, glancing over at Harry before walking to the other side of the kitchen to put a pot away.

Harry nodded. “Yeah. Was out right away.”

“Hmmm,” was all Gemma said, picking up another plate from the rack and rubbing it dry. 

It was silent for a couple of minutes, aside from the lapping of the dishwater and the noise of the dishes hitting the rack.

“So,” Gemma said, looking at Harry. “Maura and I are actually going out tomorrow night.”

Harry glanced at her, knitting his eyebrows and shaking his head a little bit. “What?”

“Yeah,” Gemma shrugged, putting away some cutlery in the drawer adjacent to where they were standing. “I saw an advert for Hound of the Baskervilles and thought it might be fun. Just to say thank you for letting us stay here.”

“She didn't have to do that,” Maura said, looking back at Gemma and placing one last plate on the rack before emptying the water in the sink.

Gemma just waved her off as she reached for the plate. She looked back at Harry with a bit of a smirk on her face. “That's alright, yeah?”

Before Harry could respond, Maura was distracting him wringing out her dish towel. “Thanks,” she said, looking at the two of them. “I'm going to go sit outside and read for a little while.”

Gemma just nodded as she left the room, still looking and Harry and awaiting his response. 

“Yeah, that's fine,” he shrugged, because he didn't care really. But it was going to be sort of a boring evening all on his own without at least Gemma to hang around with. 

“It's just for an evening, Harry,” Gemma said slowly. “I just... sort of felt like Maura could use an evening out. This whole thing must be so hard for her.”

Harry couldn't exactly argue with that. He'd known Niall only two months and he went through phases of feeling lost and frustrated and sad and afraid. He could only imagine how his mum must have been feeling.

“Plus,” Gemma said with a shrug of her shoulder and a little bit of a grin. “You and Niall will have the house to yourselves.”

Harry gave her a look. Partially because he knew Niall was just going to be asleep anyway, and because it was so awkward for his sister to bring up something like that. “He goes to sleep early, Gemma.”

She shrugged again. “Well, maybe it's time he try to change that schedule of his around a little bit.”

Harry didn't really think so, but he figured it was possible. Plus it would be nice for him and Niall to have the house to themselves. If he could stay awake for it.

“Yeah,” was all Harry said as he and Gemma left the kitchen and went to sit in the main room. “Maybe.”

* * *

The next morning, Maura, Harry and Gemma were eating breakfast in the kitchen when Niall slowly walked down the stairs.

“Morning,” he said sleepily, eyeing the teapot in the middle of the table before standing up and getting a mug from the cabinet.

“Good morning,” Maura smiled at him. “Sleep well?”

Niall shrugged and Harry stared down at his cereal. He often wondered if Niall ever felt truly rested or if he just felt more and more drained every day. It often looked to be the latter, but he didn't say anything.

Neither did Niall, for that matter. “Yeh,” was all he said before sitting back down and pouring some tea into his mug. He took a large sip of it, swishing it around in his mouth before swallowing.

“We're going to have supper a little early today,” Maura said to him, and Niall raised his eyebrow.

“Gemma was kind enough to get the two of us tickets to the theatre tonight,” she smiled, looking over at her before making eye contact with Niall again. “We're going to see Hound of the Baskervilles.”

Niall nodded his head, glancing over at Gemma. “My mum loves the theatre,” he said, taking another sip of his tea.

“I do too,” Gemma grinned. “I think it'll be a good play.”

“It starts at seven, so we'll probably eat around five to make sure we have enough time,” Maura continued, glancing around at the three of them.

Harry nodded, but he didn't care too much what time they ate at.

Niall glanced over at Harry, making a bit of eye contact with him. He glanced down at his tea and bit at his lip, moving his jaw a little as though he was deep in thought.

“Actually,” he said, standing back up from the table and pushing his chair in. “I'm still quite knackered. Back to sleep for me then,” he said, walking off quickly.

“He certainly didn't look that tired,” Gemma muttered with a slight smirk. Harry kicked her from under the table.

Obviously Niall had the same idea Gemma had the night before.

* * *

“Don't worry about the dishes, mum,” Niall stressed, practically pushing Maura and Gemma out the door. “Harry and I have got them. Just go and have fun.”

Maura hugged Niall one more time before peering into the kitchen and waving goodbye to Harry. She and Gemma left right after that, Niall leaning out the door and waving before shutting the door behind them.

“So,” Harry said, wiggling his eyebrows a little bit. “Dishes?”

Niall snorted, rolling his eyes and furrowing his eyebrows like that was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard in his entire life. He smiled wide and Harry felt his heart pounding in his chest. Niall had slept for much of the day, and obviously it had done him a little bit of good because he didn't usually have this much energy in the evening. The only time Harry every saw him like this lately was in the first couple hours of the morning.

“Fuck the dishes,” Niall muttered, shaking his head and pressing his body against Harry's craning his neck upwards and kissing him forcefully. Harry wrapped his arms around Niall's small frame, holding him tightly while they kissed. 

They were both breathing heavily, making out in the middle of Niall's kitchen. It was ridiculous, really. They had the entire house to themselves but neither of them could be bothered to move as they clung to each other, making out in a standing mess in the kitchen. Their lips moved against each other hungrily, as though they hadn't ever done this before.

And really, it had been so long that it was almost like they hadn't. The last time it had been like this, Harry remembered, was the first night they were in Cologne. Which was the last night before everything went completely to hell.

Niall pulled away from Harry, their lips still brushed together. “Mmm, Harry,” Niall muttered, his eyes half closed and looking downwards. “I'm so tired, gonna need you to put me to bed.”

Harry giggled a little bit, choosing not to focus on the gravity behind what Niall was referencing. “Oh yeah?” he asked, nipping at Niall's mouth a little bit. “Think I can handle that.”

Niall wiggled his eyebrows, taking Harry's hand and leading him out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room. Harry followed right behind him of course, secretly glad that Niall hadn't actually wanted to be carried upstairs. Because that was a reminder Harry didn't need – not right at that moment.

Niall fell backwards onto his bed, reaching his hand up and motioning for Harry to join him.

Harry crawled on top of him, the two of them sinking down into the soft mattress. The sheets were a mess all around them, constantly being tossed around as they slept. A victim of a bed never once made.

They kissed, not more aggressively than they had been in the kitchen. It was slower, as though the two of them were savouring this moment with each other. Their mouths moved easily as their bodies fit together. Niall reached up and tangled his fingers in Harry's hair, just as he always loved to do. It was almost his tell at this point, that he was ready for something more.

Harry pulled away from him, searching Niall's soft blue eyes for the permission to move forward. Niall nodded slightly and Harry sat up, pulling off his shirt.

Niall did one better – well actually he did much better. He pulled off his shirt, wiggled out of his jeans and boxers before tossing all his clothes on the floor.

“Eager?” Harry grinned at him before taking off the rest of his clothes as well.

Niall shrugged, but Harry knew what he was thinking. He wasn't sure he was going to have a lot of energy for this and wanted to make sure not to waste any precious moments.

It had been a long time since they'd been naked together. A painfully long time, Harry felt as he crawled back on top of Niall and their skin touched. He groaned, feeling Niall's hard cock lined up against him. It was so difficult for him to not just grind against Niall as hard as he could. The Irish boy was driving him crazy, kissing him messily, playing with his hair with one hand and tracing little circles on his back with the other.

He opened his eyes at one point – one look at Niall's messy blonde hair and his swollen lips were enough for Harry's breath to catch in his throat. He buried his head against Niall, sucking on his neck and not giving a fuck if it was going to leave a mark or not.

Clearly, Niall didn't either. “Ugh, Harry,” he groaned, rocking his hips upwards. “Yeah...” he reach downwards, grabbing Harry's hand and placing it against his arse.

The message was loud and clear. And Harry went slow, still kissing and nibbling at Niall's skin as he lightly traced his finger around Niall's hole. Slowly he slipped it inside, watching as Niall tensed up and drew in a breath.

“You all right?” Harry asked, his voice low.

Niall nodded his head, relaxing a little. Yeah, he was completely fine. He kept his eyes closed, even though his mouth hung open as Harry worked him. The two of them were sweaty and sticky against each other. Harry was sure the room was actually spinning.

“Mmm,” Niall gritted out, turning his head to look at Harry. “Lube.”

Harry nodded, scampering off the bed and digging through his backpack where the lube was still located. They hadn't actually used it since they'd been in Ireland. He also grabbed a condom, setting it off to the side of the bed when he sat back down on the bed.

Niall spread his legs and Harry sat in between them. He coated two of his fingers with the cool liquid before inserting them again. This time, with less of a shocking reaction from Niall.

Instead, the blonde moaned. He tossed his head to the side as Harry brushed his fingertip against his prostate, pressing his hips down into the mattress.

“Yeah, Harry,” Niall moaned loudly, making Harry thankful that they were in the house alone. “Fuck me, I can't wait anymore.”

Harry would have liked to tease Niall. In an ideal situation he would have had some fun with him – making him whine and beg for it. But this wasn't exactly an ideal situation. Plus Harry's cock was throbbing, eager to be inside of Niall and feeling his warmth.

So, Harry reached over to the condom he'd placed on the bed just a few minutes ago. He ripped open the package, careful to not just toss it to the side so they could dispose of it later. He rolled it onto himself carefully, only looking up for a moment to glance at Niall.

Niall was just laying there, his back arched, his cock hard and his chest heaving. It was undoubtedly Harry's favourite position to see him in. He couldn't get enough of it, climbing on top of his boyfriend and slowly sliding his cock inside of him.

“Ugh,” Niall sighed, leaning his head back as Harry filled him up. Harry moved against him slowly, his hips rolling at an even pace as he kissed beads of sweat off Niall's forehead.

“Been too long,” Niall panted as they moved together. “Been too fucking long.”

Harry couldn't agree with that more as he kept thrusting into him, not moving any faster. He didn't want to wear Niall out, and he didn't want to come just yet. He glanced down at the sheets and down at Niall's flushed face. His blue eyes were glazed over and he was biting his bottom lip as he clung to Harry.

Harry buried his face in the crick of Niall's neck. He squeezed his eyes shut because it was all too much for him, and hot tears were starting to collect at the brims of his eyelids.

“Harry,” Niall moaned directly into Harry's ear. He nipped at his earlobe, and Harry could quite clearly hear him breath heavily.

He continued rocking against him, biting down on his lip to keep from coming even though he felt his orgasm starting to build up in the pit of his stomach. He felt Niall reach in between their bodies and grip his cock, stroking it in time with Harry's thrusts.

“Gonna come with you,” he panted, nodding at little when Harry looked up at him.

And Harry gulped, thrusting harder and faster against the blonde until he couldn't hold on anymore. “Niall,” he moaned, tensing and coming.

Niall didn't finish at the exact same moment as Harry did, but he was pretty close. He stroked his cock a few more times before gripping the head tightly and coming all over his stomach.

It was then that Harry let go, collapsing on top of Niall and letting the tears that stung his eyes start to roll down his face. He hoped that Niall would just mistake them for sweat, since it wasn't like he was sobbing or anything. This was all just a little emotional for him, and it had to escape somehow.

Whether Niall knew that or not, Harry wasn't sure. Still, Niall reached up and stroked Harry's hair softly. He hummed quietly into his ear, his soft blue eyes drooping and a lazy smile on his face.

Harry could have said something. He was sure that they both could have. But instead the two of them just laid there quietly, content to be a sweaty mess listening to each other breathe.


	23. Chapter 23

The next morning, Niall was still sound asleep when Harry woke up. This was nothing out of the ordinary, so like every other morning Harry kissed his forehead and pulled on some clothes before going downstairs in search of breakfast.

When he got into the kitchen, he saw only Gemma sitting at the table. She was reading something on her phone and eating a bowl of cereal. There was also the ever present tea pot sitting in the middle of the table.

“Maura had to go into work to do some things,” she explained, not looking up from her phone. “I made tea, it's not really as good as hers, but it's not bad.”

Harry nodded, grabbing a mug from the cupboard and sitting down. He picked up the teapot and filled his mug. He took a sip of it and shrugged. No, it wasn't as good as Maura's, but it certainly wasn't as terrible as the coffee he'd been sentenced to when Niall had served him that first morning.

“So,” Gemma grinned, looking up from her phone with a cheeky grin. “How was your evening?”

He gave his sister an unimpressed look, because there was absolutely no way he was going to discuss such a thing with her. “Fine,” he said, taking another sip of his tea.

Clearly she wasn't interested in digging into the details either, because she just smiled. “Glad to hear it,” she said, taking a bite of her cereal. “The play was lovely, by the way.”

“Oh?” Harry asked. He couldn't even remember that they'd said they were seeing – which showed just how wrapped up he was in Niall. Usually he remembered little details like that.

“Yeah,” Gemma sighed. “It was really funny. Maura said she really enjoyed it too.”

“That's good she had a nice time,” Harry commented, still sipping at his tea. His mind was still focused on the blonde boy upstairs. That was all he seemed to be focused on these days, truthfully.

And obviously Gemma knew that. After a few moments of them silently drinking their tea like they'd done when they were younger, she sighed.

“How is he?” she asked quietly.

“Dying,” Harry said bluntly.

Gemma rolled her eyes. “Yes, thank you. I meant how is he _emotionally_?” 

It was Harry's turn to sigh. He was well aware of what Gemma had meant, and he didn't know why he'd been so short with her. The stress of the situation must have been getting to him. And, well, it wasn't like his comment was untrue.

“He's... okay,” Harry said finally, after trying to find the right words and failing. “Starting to accept it, I suppose. Not having us running around doing things anymore. Obviously,” he motioned upstairs to the fact that Niall was still fast asleep.

Gemma nodded with sympathy apparent on her face – her eyebrows were arched with concern and her mouth in a slight frown. “I'm sorry,” she said. 

Harry shrugged. He'd known what he was getting into when he'd decided to come to Ireland, hadn't he? Not that his brain had been functioning at its top calibre when he'd made that completely rash decision. But the whole reason was because he'd found out Niall was dying, so of course at some point he was going to die. And of course it was going to be slowly, not just fine one day and gone the next.

Although, that's what it was beginning to seem like now. Cologne seemed like a lifetime ago,and Rome seemed like two.

“Why don't you do something for him?” Gemma suggested, her eyes lighting up a little bit.

Harry looked up at her with a puzzled expression. He shook his head a little, not knowing what she could possibly be on about.

“I mean, you two had a good night last night, yeah?” she prodded.

“Yeah...” Harry said slowly, nodding his head once. He wasn't sure he'd be able to repeat that occurrence and he certainly didn't want to dig into the details of it with his sister.

“So do something else with him, go down to the river like you've been saying you will.”

Harry contemplated that for a moment. He and Niall had been saying they'd get out to the river, although knowing Niall lately they never would. But he'd been there before, and he was confident he could find it himself again. He bit his lip and cocked his head to the side until a smile spread across his face.

“What?” Gemma asked him, sitting up slightly. 

“Come on,” Harry said, standing up and writing on the pad of paper that was attached to the fridge.

_n-_

_gone out for a bit with gemma. go back to sleep._

_< 3 h_

* * *

“I don't understand,” Gemma said, her hands on her hips as they stood beside the river. There were a few kids around and a couple of people around, but other than that there weren't many people.

“Imagine it,” Harry said, walking over to the bridge and putting his hands on the stone arch. “We could come back at night and... well, we could put lights here,” he said, motioning to the stone side of the bridge again. “Wrap them all around.”

Gemma nodded, smiling a little as she realised where Harry was going with this. 

“Could bring a blanket, and sit on that...”

“It's pretty out in the open,” Gemma shrugged with a bit of a smirk. “Don't you want somewhere more private?” she giggled.

“Shut up,” Harry muttered. “This isn't about that. And look,” he said, moving along the side of the bridge where there were some openings on the stone. “Could hang some lanterns over there.”

Gemma gave him a bit of a look. “If I didn't know better I'd say you were planning to propose.”

Harry rolled his eyes. His sister really didn't have the capacity to shut her sarcasm off. “Well, luckily you do,” he said, giving her a look and then softening his expression. “I just want us to have a nice evening together.”

Gemma smiled, finally choosing to give up on her sarcastic comments. “There's a papercraft store a little ways away,” she said. “I bet they have lanterns.”

Harry grinned as he followed her away from the river and towards the shopping district. “You think it's a good idea, then?”

She nodded, looking back at him with a smile. “I think it's a great idea.”

* * *

“Where are we going?” Niall asked as Harry pushed him down the streets and unknowingly towards the river. He was blindfolded, of course. On Harry's suggestion, which Niall had laughed at until he'd realised that Harry was serious.

“You'll see,” Harry said cheekily as he rounded the corner.

“I sure hope so,” Niall laughed slightly, actually staying quiet after that.

It hadn't been easy, but Harry was proud of his work. He and Gemma had spent a good portion of the day scouring the town looking for supplies to make the evening perfect. The papercraft store hadn't had the lanterns like Gemma had thought – so that was a challenge. A frustrating one at that – but eventually they found some. They were a little expensive, given that they were the light up kind, but they fit well with Harry's romance theme so that was fine.

Harry couldn't contain the grin on his face as he made it up to the river, rolling Niall's chair over the grass and towards where Gemma was standing, making sure that everything was still in its place.

“We're going to the river, aren't we?” Niall asked, glancing back at Harry. Not that it did any good, because he was still blindfolded.

“Maybe,” Harry said, shrugging his shoulders. He pushed the chair right up to the base of the blanket and leaned down beside Niall.

“You can take it off now,” he whispered, looking right up at him and then glancing at Gemma.

Niall reached up, pulling the blindfold off. His eyes widended as he looked straight ahead of him and Harry was sure he'd never seen them so bright.

His vision had truly come to life and it was every bit worth it as Niall looked around. His eyes fell on the lights that were wrapped around the pillar of the bridge and trailed their way up to where the lanterns hung, the dull light of them reflecting on the water.

And in front of them, a white blanket covering the grass with a basket on it.

“Harry,” Niall breathed, speechless for once in his life.

“Do you like it?” Harry asked, his heart beating hard i his chest. He didn't know why – it was clear from the look on Niall's face that he did.

“I do,” he said, nodding his head slowly as he stood up and looked around. He walked over to the lights and inspected them more closely, turning his head to look up at the strung lanterns. “How did you do this?”

“With great difficulty,” Gemma said, giving him a look. Putting those lanterns up had certainly been a chore and she'd almost ended up in the river at least twice.

Harry looked at his sister. He didn't exactly want to tell her to leave given she'd been such a big help... but he really did want her gone so he could have this time alone with Niall.

Which she obviously knew. “Well, I suppose my work here is done, then. See you later, lads,” she smiled, walking off.

Harry smiled, walking over to where Niall stood. He wrapped his arms around him and buried his head in his neck. Niall held him too, rubbing his hands along Harry's back and leaning his head against his chest.

He pulled away, looking up at him. Then he glanced at the basket. “So what's in there, then?”

Harry grinned, taking Niall's hand and pulling him over to the blanket. They sat down, and Harry opened the lid of of the basket, while Niall peered over his shoulder.

“I didn't bring any food,” Harry said, glancing at Niall.

And Niall nodded at him gratefully, which Harry had fully expected since eating as of late was a challenge for him.

So Harry reached into the basket and pulled out two bottles of beer – the exact beer when they'd been in the bar in Rome.

He pulled off the cap, handing one to Niall before opening one for himself.

“Hm,” Niall said, inspecting the label. “Italian beer.”

Harry nodded, wondering if he'd get the significance. That was another thing he'd searched all over town for and paid entirely too much money for. 

“This is what we were drinking in Rome,” Niall grinned, looking at Harry with those perfect blue eyes of his. “When I kissed you.”

Harry beamed – so evidently Niall could remember little details. At least, important ones. And really, that was all that mattered.

“Reckon I should do that again,” Niall shrugged, leaning over and kissing Harry softly on the mouth.

Harry closed his eyes, savouring the moment in very much the same way he had tried to do back when they'd kissed for the first time. Back before he knew Niall was ill, and back before he knew he was going to fall in love with him.

His breath caught in his throat and he had to pull away, taking a quick swig of his beer to shove his feelings down. This wasn't supposed to be about him being sad.

Niall knew it too, he took a sip of his own beer, drinking it a lot slower than he'd been able to chug back in Italy. They sat there quietly, Niall's head resting on Harry's shoulder as they watched the water. The lights reflect off of the slow lapping waves and it was enough. As far as Harry was concerned, this was all he needed in the world.

He finished his beer and set the empty bottle back into the basket. He'd only brought two with him, knowing full well that Niall wouldn't be able to drink more than one himself. He wrapped his arm around Niall shoulder, drawing in another breath as he looked down at the blonde.

His hair was starting to grow out, more brunette at the roots than it had been when Harry had first met him. The blonde bits were starting to curl at the ends since they were getting long and Harry gulped again as he realised he wouldn't likely know what Niall would look like with a full head of brown hair.

It broke his heart and it wasn't fair. This wasn't what he was supposed to be thinking about and he knew it – but how could he not? The very reason he'd gone all out on this date was because it wasn't certain they would have another one. 

“This is perfect,” Niall said, his voice breaking through the silence and the quiet sounds of the water. “I don't want it to end. I don't want to leave you.”

Harry just nodded his head, the tears starting to brim in his eyes again. “So don't,” Harry said, even though it was a stupid, selfish thing for him to say. It wasn't like it was Niall's choice. “Don't leave me,” his voice cracked as he gripped his arm tighter around Niall's shoulders.

Niall just pressed his lips together, still staring out at the water as Harry looked down at him. He turned his head up. His eyes were glassed over, but he wasn't letting himself cry.

“I'll do my best,” he nodded, kissing Harry on the cheek before cuddling up to him closer as they continued to stare at the water in silence.


	24. Chapter 24

Three days later, Harry was woken up to a loud noise downstairs. He glanced over at Niall, who stirred and rolled over, not waking up.

Then Harry looked over at the clock. It was rather late, actually. Almost noon. He didn't normally sleep in but he supposed he'd been a bit worn out over the past few days. 

He got up, pulling on his clothes quietly as though not to wake Niall up. The voices downstairs sort of intrigued him. He ran a hand through his hair to make sure it wasn't a huge mess before heading down.

Sitting in the kitchen was Maura and Gemma, which was fairly standard for the morning. But there were also a few people he didn't recognize – namely a brown-haired man, a blonde woman and a little baby sitting in a high chair.

“Morning,” he muttered, entering the kitchen and glancing at them as he took notice of the teapot sitting in the middle of the table. There were no chairs left for him to sit in, so he pulled a mug out of the cupboard and reached over nearest to where Gemma was sitting to get at the tea.

“Morning,” Gemma said to him, glancing upwards with knitted eyebrows in sisterly annoyance. Standard.

“Morning, Harry,” Maura smiled, still playing with the little blonde baby beside her. He giggled as she lightly clapped her hands in front of him. She looked up for a moment to motion to the two strangers sitting at the table. “This is my other son, Greg, his wife Denise and this,” she grinned, looking back at the baby, “Is little Theo.”

“Hi,” Harry nodded, taking a sip of his tea.

They nodded back at him, Niall's brother sort of looking at him oddly while Denise smiled at him.

“It's nice to meet you, Harry,” Denise said, looking up at him. 

“Greg and Denise live in Dublin, they've come to visit for the weekend,” she said. 

Harry looked over at Gemma. “Is it Saturday?” he asked. The days were all beginning to run together.

She nodded her head as thought it was obvious. It wasn't really – the least of his concerns was what day of the week it was.

“Didn't realise Mum already had visitors,” Greg said, interrupting Harry's thoughts and looking over at his wife with a bit of a sarcastic grin on his face.

Harry and Gemma exchanged a look, unsure of what that comment actually meant. 

Luckily Maura already had them covered. “Oh stop,” she said, waving her hand as she leaned back in her chair and took a sip of her tea. “You wouldn't have stayed here anyway.”

Denise looked over at Greg with what appeared to be an agreeable shrug. Theo laughed and Maura turned back to him, cooing and smiling at him.

Greg shifted a bit in his seat, eyeing Harry a little oddly. Harry just took another sip of his tea. He wasn't quite sure what to make of Niall's brother who seemed keen on making awkward comments.

“So, where is he then?” Greg asked after a moment.

Maura sighed, giving Greg a look and then glancing over at Harry. 

“Um,” Harry said, tapping his fingers against his mug as he gripped it. “He's still asleep. Sleeps a lot, these days,” he added, hoping that would make it seem less like Niall was just avoiding them because it seemed like Greg was the type to get easily offended.

He was right about that. Greg just gave him an odd look and then glanced back at his mum. “What?”

“Harry is Niall's boyfriend,” Maura said, still smiling and keeping all her attention on Theo.

Greg glanced up at Harry, squinting his eyes and wrinkling his nose a little bit. Harry darted his attention back down to his sister, because he really didn't have the mental energy to deal with any of this. 

“I didn't know he was gay,” Greg finally managed to say, looking sharply over to his mum.

“Well, he is,” Niall said, entering the kitchen and rubbing his eyes. He yawned, and Gemma immediately got up and offered him her seat, which Niall immediately took as he smiled sleepily at her. “You don't have to talk about me like I'm not here, by the way. Not dead yet,” he muttered.

There was silence at the table, because no one knew what to say after that. Even Maura, who usually ignored his little comments just looked at him a bit sadly before taking a sip of her tea.

It was Theo who broke the silence, hitting the tray on his high chair and laughing as a stray cheerio fell off and rolled onto the floor. 

“Hey Theo,” Niall smiled, leaning into the table to be a little bit closer to the baby. “Come to visit me then? Nice to see you.”

Theo laughed and pushed another cheerio off of the tray and onto the floor. Of which Gemma promptly walked over and picked up, throwing them into the bin under the sink.

“How was your trip?” Denise asked, looking across the table at Niall. She also looked up at Harry. She had a soft smile on her face, and Harry felt much better about her than he did Niall's brother.

“Amazing,” Niall said, glancing back at Harry and reaching his hand upwards. Harry took it, lacing their fingers and rubbing the back of Niall's hand with his thumb. “Absolutely amazing.”

“Yeah?” Denise asked him, looking over at Greg and nodding at him a little, obviously trying to get him to be a little more invested in this conversation. “What was the best part, then?”

“Ah,” Niall said, leaning his head back a little as though he was thinking. “Everything, really. Hard to pick a best part.”

Harry smiled, holding Niall's hand a little tighter as his boyfriend launched into his stories about his adventures. They were mostly ones he'd heard before – the chai tea in India, the fish restaurant in Japan. They were also some that he'd experienced, such as the Anne Frank house, the Real Madrid match, Barcelona Cathedral (where Niall had conveniently left out the fact that he'd passed out on the way there, even though he'd described Spain as “massively hot.”)

“And, uh, Stockholm,” Niall finished, letting go of Harry's hand and reaching back to lightly touch his side before dropping it onto the table.

“What was so great about Stockholm?” Greg asked him, giving him an odd look.

“It was just lovely,” Niall smiled. He didn't look up at Harry, but Harry obviously knew what he was thinking. 

Greg snorted. “Since when do you talk like that?” he asked with a laugh, and Denise smacked him on the arm.

“Since I went on a life-changing trip you twat,” Niall replied, rolling his eyes. Then he laughed, leaning his head back at grinning at Harry. “Yeah?” he asked, as if to confirm.

Harry nodded and looked over at Greg and Denise, placing his hands on Niall's shoulders. “Yeah,” he smiled, leaning down and kissing Niall on the forehead. Niall closed his eyes and smiled as he let Harry do that, then he faced forward again, his cheeks still pink.

“Oh my goodness,” Denise giggled a bit, looking over at Maura. “Are they always like this?”

Maura nodded her head with her eyes wide and her lips pressed together as though it literally happened all the time. Harry didn't think they were quite _that_ bad with the PDA. “Yes.”

“Adorable,” Denise grinned, looking back at them. Harry felt his cheeks turn red. “Simply adorable.”

She was proven right as after they finished their tea, they moved into the sitting room. Greg put the telly on, keen on watching the Chelsea match. Niall tried to watch it as well, but somewhere around half time, he leaned his head and Harry's shoulder and dozed off.

“He literally just got up,” Greg whispered, glancing at Maura.

“I know,” Maura sighed, her mouth turned down. “He's in and out these days.”

Greg looked over at Niall and Harry glanced up at him, giving him sort of a sympathetic smile. As if to say he understood what he was going through, even though he knew he really didn't. He felt like Greg must have been upset, seeing his brother so tired and helpless. Then he thought that Greg might not actually care as much he did, because his wife was sitting right beside him, perfectly healthy.

But Harry figured that grief couldn't exactly be quantified, so he sighed and turned his attention back to the match.

“Is he all right there?” Denise asked after a few minutes, glancing over at Niall and then at Harry.

Harry shrugged the one shoulder that Niall wasn't resting on. He supposed he could take Niall up to bed if he was that tired, but he didn't want to drag him away from his family.

So he figured he'd just let Niall decide. “You all right?” he asked softly, nudging Niall a bit.

Niall shrugged, peeling his eyes open and glancing at the screen. “'M tired,” he said, quietly. “Chelsea's losing,” he muttered, closing his eyes again. “Time for a kip.”

Harry chuckled a bit, glancing at the others. “I'll take him to bed, then. Come on,” he said, urging Niall to hold on to him so he could carry him up to the loft, just as he did every day when Niall eventually fell asleep on him. 

He nodded a quick goodbye before taking Niall upstairs, carrying him all the way and gently setting him down on the bed.

“Sorry,” Niall muttered, opening his eyes and looking at Harry apologetically. 

“No apologies, it happens,” Harry said softly, smiling and running his fingers through Niall's hair.

“I meant about my brother,” Niall clarified, still mumbling and clearly fighting falling asleep. “He's always been weird like that. S'why we're not close.”

“Don't worry about it,” Harry replied, shaking his head and still playing with Niall's hair. “He came here to see you.”

“Hmmm,” Niall sighed, giving in and closing his eyes. “Just for show, doesn't give a shite.”

Harry opened his mouth to counter that, but he promptly shut it. He wasn't about to argue with Niall, especially since Niall obviously knew his own brother better than he did. So instead he just sat on his knees in front of the bed, still playing with Niall's hair until he fell asleep.

* * *

Harry couldn't sleep.

It was late and Niall was snoring lightly beside him, his chest rising and falling heavily. He'd literally been like that the entire day, only getting up again for a short half hour while everyone was eating supper. He hadn't even made an attempt to eat anything, not bothering to fix a plate for himself.

It was nearly 1:30 am and Greg and Denise were long gone back to their hotel with Theo and the promise that they'd be back the next day. Knowing that Maura was also probably asleep, Harry tiptoed out of the room and quietly made his way down to Gemma's.

He knocked on the door quietly, peering downwards. The light was on, bleeding out from under the door. He heard rustling around until his sister finally opened up.

“Were you still awake?” Harry asked, giving her a bit of a look. 

She nodded. “Yeah, just reading,” she said quietly, knowing Maura was right across the hall and not wanting to wake her. So she ushered Harry into her room and lightly shut the door. “What's going on, then?”

“Couldn't sleep,” Harry shrugged, sitting on the floor. Gemma joined him, sitting beside him and curling her legs up to her chest as she rested her head in her hand. 

“Ironic,” he sighed when Gemma didn't say anything. “Because all he does is sleep.”

“That's not the definition of irony,” Gemma said, nodding at him knowingly and giving him a bit of a smirk.

Harry glared at her.

“Sorry,” she said a bit sheepishly. “Just trying to make you laugh.”

He sighed again, pulling his knees up to his chest as well and leaning his head in them. “I'm worried about him, Gemma. I'm worried that he's... that he's going to...” Harry's voice cracked and the familiar feeling of tears brimming in his eyes and sadness burning in his throat returned. He was getting quite sick of that, to be honest.

“Hey,” Gemma said, rubbing his back. “He is,” she said softly and at that Harry actually let himself cry, leaning over and hugging her tightly.

“I'm sorry,” she said, still rubbing his back. “I know it's hard for you.”

Harry nodded his head, still letting out muffled sobs and trying his best to be quiet so he didn't wake up Maura. Because the last thing he needed was to start a crying fest with Niall's mum.

“But we have to be strong, hmm?” she said to him, tilting her head down to meet his eyes.

Harry gulped. He knew that well enough. But he still 

Gemma sighed and pulled her phone out of her pocket, setting the volume to low.

_“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me,”_ she sang quietly, grinning at Harry because she knew she wasn't a great singer and that he was a lot better than she was. _“Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”_

Harry snorted a bit, laughing through the tears that were still falling down his face as he sat there with his sister, listening to the music playing on her phone. She kept singing along to it and he shook his head, because she really was an awful singer.

_“And in my hour of darkness,”_ he sang, taking over for her. _“She is standing right in front of me. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be,”_ he continued to sing, 

Gemma swaying her head from side to side as she listened. _“Let it be, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be,”_ his voice cracked at the end as the piano continued to play. He looked up at Gemma and swallowed, blinking back tears.

“Understand?” she asked, looking down at him.

Harry nodded his head, still clinging to her. Understood.


	25. Chapter 25

Five days later at 3:17am came Harry's worst nightmare.

In fact, he thought he was still dreaming through the darkness as Niall's strained screams fought their way into his consciousness and woke him up.

But as soon as he felt Niall's hand digging into his side, piercing his skin with pangs of pain he knew it couldn't be a dream. His eyes shot open as he looked at his boyfriend. 

Niall was laying beside him but what was different than the usual soft rise and fall of his chest as he slept was that his eyes were open, his breathing was sharp and his face was covered in fright.

“Niall?” Harry asked cautiously, almost afraid to move as he looked at him.

Niall only whimpered, breathing in short, hyperventilated breaths. He looked over at Harry, his eyes wide and bloodshot. 

“Are you all right?” Harry asked, even though it was clear that he wasn't. He sat up and looking at him, Niall's hand still firmly attached to his skin. 

Niall swallowed through his the panic beating on his chest. “Pain,” he managed to grit out, biting down hard on his lip. “Back.”

He groaned, biting his top teeth down so hard that the pink skin of his mouth turned white.

“Fuck,” Harry swore, not wanting to leave Niall's side but not knowing what to do either. He was definitely not a calm person to have around in an emergency. That was a role reserved for his sister – who would be helpful if she wasn't all the way downstairs probably fast asleep and blissfully unaware of the terror happening above her.

He looked at Niall again, who had now squeezed his eyes shut and was still gripping the sheets with his one hand, and Harry's bare skin with the other.

“Okay just,” Harry said, carefully scrambling out of bed and overtop of Niall. He tried to make sure not to move him as he got to the floor. He looked back at him for a moment, as if to assure himself that he was okay. As okay as he was going to be, anyway. “Just,” he said again, holding out his hands even though Niall hadn't opened his eyes to see him.

He didn't even bother pulling on a shirt or a pair of jeans, choosing to run as fast as he could down to Gemma's room in his boxers. Because his dignity be damned, and that was the last thing on his mind.

He didn't even take a moment to think as he stood in front of her door, banging on it with his fists. “Gemma,” he said loudly. “Gemma.”

Gemma wasn't the first to emerge from her room. Instead, Maura stepped out of hers. She opened the door across the hall and looked at Harry. She held a fluffy blue robe closed and a worried look on her face.

“Something's wrong,” Harry said, looking back at her at the same time as Gemma opened the door to her room.

He darted back upstairs, Gemma and Maura following hot on his heels.

“I'm calling an ambulance,” Gemma declared, not even bothering to go up the stairs. She ran off into the kitchen as Harry and Maura continued into Niall's room.

Harry breathed a bit of a sigh of relief as he saw Niall there. But it was short lived because he didn't look any better. He was still holding onto the sheets, still breathing hard. He still had that sickly pale look of fear on his face.

“What's wrong?” Maura asked, kneeling down at the side of the bed as she looked at Niall.

Niall just groaned again tossing his head to the side and not saying anything.

“Niall,” she said softly. “You have to tell me.”

“He said it's his back,” Harry said, standing awkwardly behind Maura and not knowing what to do. He hardly even noticed how panicked his own breathing was, and if he didn't calm down that ambulance was likely going to take him away as well. So he swallowed as he looked at Niall.

Niall nodded his head only twice, looking as though the slightest movement of his body was unbearable.

“Gemma called the doctor,” Maura said to him, her voice was quiet but firm. Harry watched her, thinking that she was so seasoned in the motherly role. He wondered if she'd always been that way, or if having a son like Niall had forced that personality trait into her.

Niall just continued to breathe quickly.

“Take deep breaths, all right?” she said gently, reaching up and stroking his hair.

Niall sort of obliged. It was clear he was trying but far too panicked to actually be able to take a deep breath.

“We're going to the hospital and you'll feel better,” Maura said quietly to him in the same soothing voice she's been using ever since she entered the room. Harry continued to stand there and watch them, focusing all the energy he had on not thinking about the worst.

“Don't wanna die,” Niall said quickly, the words running together as they left his mouth in a jumble.

Maura sighed, still running her hands through his hair. “I'm here and Harry's here and we love you,” was all she said to him. Harry gulped as his heart broke a little. Maura couldn't very well tell Niall he wasn't going to die – because he was. And for all they knew it was going to be soon.

A few agonizing minutes passed of Maura sitting quietly with Niall while he whimpered in pain. The sound of sirens outside eased Harry a little knowing that now someone was here who could help Niall. Harry glanced behind him as he looked at the door, waiting for the paramedics to show up.

They did with Gemma leading the way to the room. And as soon as they saw Niall, Harry, Maura and Gemma got out of the way and let them do their job.

Harry clung to Gemma, unable to watch as they helped Niall off of the bed. He cringed as he heard Niall crying out in pain as soon as he was moved onto a stretcher and taken out of the room.

“Come on,” Gemma said quietly, tapping Harry on the shoulder. He stood up straight and looked at her and then glanced over at Maura.

She was just standing there, covering her mouth and looking over at the dishevelled mess of Niall's bed. Then she sighed, taking a long shaky breath as she looked at Harry and Gemma. “Let's get dressed,” she said, walking out of the room. “We're going to the hospital.”

* * *

Niall didn't die that night. There was a buildup of fluid in his back that could be drained, and with the aid of morphine he was in far less pain.

Harry and Gemma sat in the waiting room as Maura was taken in to talk to the doctor. Harry played with the rim of his paper cup, which held the few stray drops of tea that were left in it. Not that he needed the caffeine to stay awake. After being woken up to that nightmare, he was fairly certain he'd never sleep again.

“You all right?” Gemma asked him, leaning over a little.

Harry nodded. He supposed he was, all things considered. 

Maura came back into the waiting room, nodding at the doctor as he looked at her sympathetically. She walked back over to Harry and Gemma, tears obvious on her face.

She looked at the two of them with a frown. “They're keeping him here on the morphine and so they can keep an eye on his back. He's... he's not coming home,” she said, choosing not to make eye contact with Harry or Gemma and instead staring down at the ground with her hand over her mouth.

“Oh,” Gemma said softly, jumping up from her seat and wrapping her arms around Maura. Maura of course hugged Gemma back, leaning her head against her collar bone and crying softly.

Harry stood up as well, wrapping his arms around both Maura and Gemma. They were quick to let him into their huddle, the three of them standing in the waiting room and crying softly together.

It was Maura who pulled away first, wiping her eyes and trying to smile through her tears. “Sorry,” she said, but Gemma and Harry were quick to shake their heads. Obviously she didn't have anything to apologize for. 

“He's asleep now,” she sighed, calming down and putting her hands on her hips. “I suggest we do the same and come back after a few hours.”

Gemma glanced over at Harry.

Harry just shrugged, but eventually nodded his head. He didn't exactly want to leave, but he supposed he had to try and get some sleep.

* * *

Sleep hadn't come easy for Harry. Especially not in the same bed he'd shared with Niall every night up until that point. After tossing and turning for an hour (and not without sobbing into his pillow) he finally gave up and moved down to the couch in the sitting room.

And yet, his burning eyes were the last thing on his mind as he sat in the waiting room yet again. This time, Niall was awake. Harry tapped his feet on the white tiled floor as he waited for Maura to come back. Gemma wasn't with him, opting to stay at the house and fix some food for them so Maura wouldn't have to do it when they returned.

Harry really didn't know what he'd be doing right now without his sister watching out for him. He wondered what Maura would be doing as well. If they weren't there would she be dealing with all of this alone? 

He didn't have a lot of time to dwell on that, as Maura turned the hall and stepped into the waiting room. She smiled at Harry, sitting down in the plastic chair beside him. “He's awake,” she said softly. “He said he'd like to see you.”

Harry nodded, standing up. He took a deep breath, walking down the hallway to the private room Niall was in. He pushed open the door.

Sitting there was Niall, in a propped up hospital bed wearing entirely too much white.

“Hi,” he said slowly, walking over to the edge of his bed and sliding the chair as close as he possibly could to him.

“Hi,” Niall nodded, still looking a bit woozy. He had an IV attached to him, which was in turn attached to a bag of clear liquid. Whatever that was, Harry didn't know. He guessed some kind of medicine for the pain. “Gave you quite a scare. Sorry.”

Harry laughed. He actually laughed, because there wasn't much else he could do. And he'd always appreciated Niall's bluntness. He took Niall's hand, squeezing it tight. “It's all right.”

“Gave me some morphine,” Niall smiled a bit, although it didn't quite reach far enough to light up his eyes. “Feelin' better.”

Harry nodded his head. He wondered how true that actually was – although he wasn't screaming in pain anymore so it had to be at least partially. But it was all relative, he figured. Just because he was feeling better than he had been twelve hours ago didn't mean he was necessarily feeling good. “That's good,” Harry said, still holding onto Niall's hand. He never wanted to let it go.

“Hmmm,” Niall sighed, leaning his head back onto his pillow, which Maura had brought for him from his room. “We had a good trip, didn't we? Seeing the world.”

Harry nodded, trying his best to smile. Yes, that part had certainly been fun. “We did,” he confirmed. 

“Always wanted to do that,” Niall continued, his eyes still closed and the weak smile still on his face. “Never thought I'd get to do it with someone like you.”

Harry had to swallow twice to force the lump in his throat down. 

Niall turned his head to the side, opening his eyes and looking at Harry. His expression was warm and his voice was calm and even. Just like Maura's had been earlier. Harry figured that was probably a better trait for him to pick up than her beverage making skills.

“When I was nine my Dad and I went on a trip to London,” Niall started, taking in a deep breath. And Harry just listened, still holding his hand and hanging onto every word.

“One of the first things we did was go to Trafalgar Square. It was alright, I guess, but what was cool about it was there was this busker there. I was just a kid, so I went up to him and asked him if I could play his guitar,” Niall paused, chuckling softly. 

Harry just nodded. 

“He let me,” Niall continued after a few deep breaths. “Don't really know why. Maybe because he thought I'd get him some more money in his case. It worked, you know?”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, stroking the back of Niall's hand with his thumb as he tried to absorb every word he was saying and burn it into his memory.

Niall nodded his head slowly. “Yeah. Loads of people started crowding around and watching me. That's what I remembered most about that trip. Not because of all the people or because of the guitar or anything, but because of how random it was. It was sort of unexpected, and I just wanted to live my life like that.”

Harry nodded his head, trying to understand exactly what Niall was telling him. It wasn't like him to be so introspective like that, but he supposed death did funny things to people. Not that he was an expert or anything.

“I just wanted to go on and not know what was going to happen and do as many things as possible. Meet as many people as I could, have as many experiences as I could.”

“You're quite good at that,” Harry laughed a bit. If anyone was quite good at that, he was sure it was Niall.

“You think so?” Niall asked, leaning his head back again as he closed his eyes and sighed. 

“I know so,” Harry said seriously.

“Hmm,” Niall hummed a little bit, as though he was really contemplating what Harry said. “Never made it to Paris, though. Wanted to eat a baguette.”

“We went to Paris,” Harry said suddenly, a smile spreading across his face.

Niall opened his eyes a bit and looked at Harry, smiling as well as he realised what he was doing.

“The first thing we wanted to do when we got there was go to the Eiffel Tower, of course,” he shrugged his shoulders, smirking a little bit. “We were following behind Gemma because you know she always has to lead the way.”

“Always,” Niall repeated with a soft sigh.

“Yeah,” Harry laughed. “And you asked her if she was sure she was going the right way. Because you and I weren't paying attention, laughing at all the people speaking French.”

“Oui oui,” Niall continued to smile, still leaning back against the pillow.

“She pulled you over to where she was standing and pointed because off in the distance was the tower.”

“She got lucky,” Niall said softly.

“We got her back,” Harry laughed, reaching upwards and playing with Niall's hair, pushing it off of his forehead. “Made her walk down all those steps from the second floor.”

“Really wanted to experience the tower,” Niall nodded, leaning back and closing his eyes. “It's important. To be in the tower is to be in Paris, after all.”

“Oh absolutely,” Harry smiled, still looking down at Niall. His breathing was evening out, and it was obvious he was drifting back off to sleep. “Sweet dreams about Paris, yeah?” he whispered, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek.

“Hmm,” Niall sighed, clearly already dozing off.

Harry just watched him for a couple more seconds to make sure he really was asleep before getting up and leaving the room. He glanced back at Niall for a moment before leaving to go meet Maura back in the waiting room.

As he walked down the hall he daydreamed about the two of them actually forcing Gemma to walk down all the steps of the Eiffel Tower. And wouldn't you know it – he actually smiled to himself.


	26. Chapter 26

Niall had a flurry of visitors over the next few days. It seemed like every time Harry looked up at the door to his hospital room, someone else new was walking in.

First it was Greg, Denise and Theo who had come for the afternoon. They'd stayed for a few hours, sitting in the room and talking to Niall. Niall was somewhat responsive, playing with Theo as best he could and trying to converse with Greg about their childhood.

Then came Holly, sitting in the room and clearly content to just be there. She spent most of her time talking with Maura, because Niall was asleep for a good portion of her visit. When she left, she leaned over and hugged Niall tightly. He woke up and in his half state of consciousness and hugged her back. “Don't marry someone better than me,” he advised.

“Obviously I will,” she laughed, kissing him on the cheek before walking out.

“So many people,” Niall muttered, his eyes drooping closed as soon as Holly was gone. “It's like Christmas. Looking forward to turkey, hmmm...”

Harry raised his eyebrow, because Niall's statement didn't make a lick of sense.

“It's the morphine,” Maura said to him, looking at Niall sadly as he slipped into sleep once again. “They warned me that it'd do things like this.” She scooted her chair closer over to his bed, taking her son's hand in her own. Niall mumbled a little bit, turning his head to the side.

Harry nodded his head as he looked at Niall, and at Maura slightly rubbing his hand.

“Mmm,” he mumbled in his half asleep state. “Need to have a good sleep because we're leaving on a big trip tomorrow, yeah...”

“We're not going anywhere,” Harry muttered, looking at the ground. He gulped. The next time he'd be getting on a plane would be after... 

Thinking about it made him never want to leave Ireland. He'd be alright with that as a trade-off.

Maura just smiled softly, still rubbing Niall's hand and holding it in her own. “Where are you going, love?”

“America,” Niall mumbled, eyes eyes still closed.

“America,” Maura laughed, but Harry didn't miss the tears in her eyes. “That is quite a big trip.”

But Niall didn't answer, because he was fast asleep. Dreaming about the Statue of Liberty, Harry hoped. Because he imagined that Niall would love New York.

* * *

Niall slept for most of the rest of the day, which wasn't uncommon these days. Watching Maura sitting with him was heartbreaking, because she didn't move and just sat there holding his hand and looking at him. Harry wanted to do that too, but he also knew that Maura needed some time with him.

So he managed to tear himself away from the hospital room and give her just that. After all, it was the least he could do after she'd let him stay in her house and share Niall's last days.

Him and Gemma spent the evening walking silently around Mullingar. Harry kicked his feet along, watching the soles of his shoes get dirtier. He didn't care that much but it took his mind off of his dying boyfriend, which was a plus. 

“Are you hungry?” Gemma asked Harry after an hour or so of aimless wandering.

Harry shrugged. He wasn't really, and despite his best efforts his mind was still stuck on Niall. 

“You need to eat something,” Gemma said with a sigh as they continued to walk. Harry still shrugged, but he followed Gemma as she ducked into a pub.

They were seated at a wooden booth that was big enough for more than two, and Gemma set her purse down beside her. Harry stared downwards as she flipped through the menu. He wasn't really interested in food. He wasn't interested in anything at all really.

He could hardly even notice all of the noise and ruckus around them. There was a band playing off in the corner, and normally Harry would have enjoyed them. He though Niall would have enjoyed them too, pulling him out of his seat and forcing up up there to dance, even though he had no idea how.

They'd make fools of themselves, and tears brimmed in Harry's eyes as he looked out at all of the people standing near where the band was playing. Niall wasn't there, and it pained Harry to know that he never would be.

“Harry,” Gemma said firmly, bringing him back to reality and pointing her finger down at his menu. The waiter was walking over to them, but he couldn't really be bothered.

“What'll we be having then?” he asked, glancing at the two of them.

Gemma smiled and Harry had to look away. It was so easy for her to fake it like that. To smile and laugh with a stranger and act like everything was fine.

He supposed it was easier for her – it wasn't her whole world that was shattering,

She ordered for the both of them and Harry was silent as he waited. He looked out at the band and the crowd of people standing around them. He looked around the pub at the various groups of people sitting and standing around tables, laughing and talking like this was just another Thursday night.

Their drinks came, set down on the table and spilling over a little bit, dampening the wood.

Gemma picked up her pint, eyeing Harry. It was a cross between sympathy and the caring older sister you-had-better-do-what-I-say look.

So he sighed and picked up his own. 

“Cheers,” she said, pushing her glass towards Harry's.

“To what?” he muttered.

She shrugged. “To us,” she suggested, shrugged. “To Niall,” she said a little bit softer, and when Harry raised his eyebrow she continued. “To how much you must love him to put yourself through this.”

Harry nodded his head as he took a sip of his pint, forcing the tears back down his throat. Yes, Gemma was certainly right about that. There was no doubt about his feelings for Niall, especially given the turn their relationship had had.

He sometimes couldn't believe he'd let himself fall in love with someone who was just a ticking time bomb. But he hadn't known. He blinked back even more tears as he set his glass back on the table. When they'd met Niall in Rome how was he to know that this boy who was terrible and frying eggs and brewing coffee only had a few months left?

“He was fine,” Harry muttered, looking down at the table and fiddling with his fingers.

“What?” Gemma asked, obviously unable to hear him over the noise of the band and everyone else in the pub.

“He was fine,” Harry said louder, his voice cracking as his tears broke through. “He was fine, he was fine, he was fine,” he repeated over and over, not knowing what to do with his hands. Finally he wiped them over his face and slammed them down on the table, causing the pint glasses to shake.

“Harry,” Gemma said seriously, leaning into the table and taking his hands in her own. “He wasn't.”

“Yes he was,” Harry cried, squeezing Gemma's hands as he looked at her. He was a right mess, tears streaming down his face and his bottom lip shaking. “We went all of those places and he laughed all the time and he was able to stay up late and...” he stopped, unable to continue as his memories flooded backwards to when everything was easier. To when he was in the dark about Niall's illness. To when it wasn't even like there was an illness at all.

Gemma just nodded her head slowly, looking at him and rubbing her thumb against the side of Harry's hand.

“He can't die, Gemma,” Harry sobbed. “I can't lose him. I need him to just hold on.”

Gemma shook her head slowly, keeping her eyes firmly locked on Harry. “He is going to die.”

Harry bit his bottom lip, his eyes squinting with tears as he shook his head.

“Yes,” Gemma said, swallowing and still looking at him. “I'm sorry. I know it's harsh but you need to accept it. And I'm not saying you can't be sad about it, but the reality of it is this – he's not going to get better. You have got to accept that.”

“No,” Harry said, jerking one of his hands away from Gemma and slamming it on the table again. “He told me that he would try his best and that he wouldn't leave. So if he can just get better-”

“ _Harry_ ,” Gemma stressed. “He is not going to get better. He's in loads of pain, hell, Maura is in loads of pain. I'm in loads of pain watching you lot and you're in loads of pain because you keep thinking it's going to go back to how it was and every day it gets further away from that.” She pressed her lips together, talking firmly. 

Harry choked back a sob, but he listened to what Gemma was saying.

“He has to let go,” she said in a softer tone. “And he probably feels like he's going to let you down if he does. You have to let him go. You have to tell him that it's all right.”

“Then he'll die,” Harry cried, staring down at the table.

“He'll die anyway,” Gemma said gently, still holding onto one of his hands. “It'll just be a lot more drawn out. And I know you don't want that. You don't want him to suffer.”

Harry nodded his head slowly, wiping his eyes with the back of his arm. He knew Gemma was right – but he couldn't stop thinking about the smiling blonde boy he'd met in Rome. He'd been so full of life and love and laughter that no one would have ever guessed for a second that he was sick.

Telling that boy that it was okay for him to let himself die would be the hardest thing Harry had ever done in his life.


	27. Chapter 27

“It's starting to rain,” Harry stated, looking out the hospital room window.

The next day he was right back where he spent all of his days. Sitting in a chair near Niall's bed, talking with Maura while they both sat with Niall hoping he'd wake up for a few minutes of conversation every couple of hours.

Maura nodded, glancing out the window herself. “It tends to a lot, this time of year.”

Harry figured he probably should have known that given he didn't live _that_ far away.

Niall stirred and opened his eyes, looking up at Maura and then over at Harry.

“Morning, sunshine,” Maura smiled as she looked down at him.

Niall continued to glance around at the two of them for a couple of seconds, his eyes bouncing between Harry and his mum.

“Do you two ever leave?” he asked, his voice rough with sleep and pain.

“No,” Harry said seriously, even though of course he did. Gemma came to get him every night to ensure he got a good night's sleep. He rarely succeeded, but at least he tried. 

Maura was the one who never left his side, staying at the hospital day and night and sleeping in a cot beside Niall's bed. Harry supposed that was fair and couldn't even feel jealous. How could he? There was no winner in this situation. However much he didn't want to admit it to himself, he knew it wasn't because Maura wanted as much time as possible with Niall. It wasn't because he was awake that often (quite the opposite) he knew it was because she didn't want him to die alone.

“Hmmm,” was all Niall said before closing his eyes again. It broke Harry's heart – the Niall he knew would have followed that up with a sarcastic comment. 

“It's raining, Niall,” Harry said, trying to grasp onto the few moments of consciousness Niall had before he fell asleep again. 

Niall peeled his eyes open again, turning his head slowly so he could see out the window. Maura kept looking down at him, stroking the back of his head with her hand. “So it is,” he said, still looking out. “Doesn't usually around now.”

Harry glanced up at Maura, knitting his eyebrows. The morphine was obviously messing with Niall's sense of time. Maura just shook her head slightly, looking back down at Niall.

Harry gulped and thought about his conversation with Gemma the night before. He looked at Niall – who was fighting to keep his eyes open and stare out the window at the world he'd never be a part of again. 

He wasn't going to get better, but it was obvious he was holding on as best he could. Gemma was right – he was probably trying to be strong and stay around as long as he possibly could. He was clearly in pain, even though he had drugs pumping through his system to try and mitigate that. 

He looked up at Maura, who keep looking down at Niall sadly. And in that moment he almost wished for Niall to just die. So that he could no longer be in pain. So that Maura could grieve for him and them move on with her life instead of having it confined to this hospital room.

“Hey Maura,” Harry started slowly, intent on asking her for a moment alone with Niall. Because there was no way he was going to just blurt out that he could let go in front of her.

She glanced up at him, her eyes blinking and her face soft with concern. 

Harry opened his mouth to continue, but he never ending up getting the words out. Instead, his and Maura's attention was thrown back to Niall – who was violently shaking on the bed, thrashing stiffly and causing the machines attached to him to scream.

“Niall!” Harry shouted, standing up from his seat. But he was ignored as two nurses and a doctor rushed into the room, just as Maura jumped away from the bed.

She shook in horror, clinging to Harry and unable to stop watching as Niall was tended to. He wrapped his arms around her, not taking his eyes off the doctors and the terrifying scene that was playing out in front of him. He was sure his eyes were wide – his breaths was definitely short and quivering. He wondered if his wish was coming true – if he'd somehow caused Niall to die for simply thinking about it for a fleeting second.

He didn't imagine it would be like this – that it would be violent and scary and horrible. He thought Niall would just die in his sleep. Take one last breath and then not another while he and Maura were sitting in the room.

“He's seizing,” the doctor said, causing Harry to breathe a bit of a sigh of relief. He wasn't dying, he was just having a seizure. And if he'd been in a clearer state of mind, his next thought would have likely been about what a weird thought that was. 

But of course he wasn't, so he continued to hold onto Maura as the doctors did whatever they did to calm Niall down. He stopped shaking, the machine went back to normal – beeping in a little bit of a different way than it had been before, but not going crazy any longer.

Harry figured that was a good sign. Any type of beeping had to be a good sign.

The nurses continued to be hovering around Niall for a few moments, talking in hushed tones. Then, the doctor looked back at Maura and Harry.

Maura stood up straight, letting go of Harry. She rubbed his back slightly as she looked at the doctor, pressing her lips together and looking serious. Harry couldn't help but watch her. She was so able to keep it together, so able to just turn off her worries and act like the adult in the room.

He was pretty sure that out of everyone he'd ever known, she was the person who least deserved this to happen to her. Not that he knew anyone who he felt deserved this or that he could ever imagine wishing this pain on anyone, but Maura was so sweet and strong and adult. Contrary to a few minutes ago, Harry wished that Niall would just sit up, be cured and that the two of them could just go home.

He glanced at Niall, hoping that he could cause another act of god to happen. He didn't, and Niall just continued to lie there.

“Mrs. Horan,” the doctor said seriously, glancing at Harry.

Harry didn't move, and Maura didn't tell him to. She just kept looking at the doctor, keeping her hand firmly on his back.

So the doctor just looked back at Maura and continued talking. “Your son just had a Grand Mal seizure.”

_Mrs. Horan. Your son._ Harry couldn't help but think about how informal all of this was. Like Niall laying there dying wasn't the most pressing matter at hand, but being professional was.

He forced himself to continue to listen.

“The cancer cells have worked their way up into his brain, and the seizure has forced him into a comatose state.”

“He's in a coma?” Harry asked slowly, unable to remain as stoic as Maura was.

The doctor nodded his head slowly, turning his head back to Maura.

“Will he wake up?” Harry blurted out, because Maura was being quiet and he couldn't contain himself. He knew the answer, but he just had to hear it for himself. Selfish as that was. Hard as it was going to be for him and Maura to hear.

Harry' suspicions were confirmed as the doctor slowly shook his head. “At this stage, it's highly unlikely.”

Harry looked down at the ground and Maura started rubbing his back again.

“You can continue to talk to him,” the doctor advised. “It's often said that hearing is the last thing to go. He won't be able to respond, but he can hear you.”

Maura nodded her head. “Thank you,” she said as the doctor looked at the two of them before leaving the room.

She sighed, looking back at Niall. He was just laying there, the machine beeping and assuring them he was still alive. His chest rising and falling slightly. If Harry didn't know any better, he'd think that Niall was simply asleep.

“I'm going to go get some tea,” Maura said, her mouth turned down. “Will you stay with him?”

Harry nodded his head. Maura smiled slightly, as much as her face would allow given what had just happened. She walked over to Niall's bedside, leaning over and kissing him on the forehead. “I'll be back in a little bit,” she said softly. “I love you.”

She glanced at Harry one more time before walking out of the room. Before him and Niall and the beeping machine were left alone together.

Harry stood there for a moment, hands in his pockets. He stared at Niall before sighing and sitting down in Maura's usual spot.

He sat down, taking Niall's hand in his own and staring at his face. His eyes were closed, his mouth was closed. His face still looked the same, aside from the pale colour of his skin. 

“Hi,” Harry said slowly, not knowing how to talk to Niall. “Bit of a scare you gave us there,” he tried to laugh.

No response from Niall, obviously. Harry didn't know what he was expecting. Part of him still hoped for Niall to open his eyes. His bright crystal blue eyes that would never see again.

Harry swallowed, not allowing himself to think about that.

“Your mum's gone to get some tea. I think she knew we needed some time alone.” Harry nodded his head, still looking down at Niall, then up at the machine to assure him everything was still fine. As fine as it could be, given the circumstances anyway.

“She's been so strong for all of us,” Harry sighed, shaking his head and not letting go of Niall's warm hand. “Even when you were,” he gulped, “having your little episode a couple minutes ago, she was comforting me. You're so lucky to have a mum like that. She loves you so much.”

Nothing.

Harry took a deep breath, not even knowing how he was going to say what he had to get out. “But she's tired Niall. It's not easy for her, even if she makes it look like it is. How could it be? She's here all the time. She even sleeps here.”

The machine continued to beep steadily.

“I know that you're a fighter,” he said, squeezing Niall's hand tighter and letting a couple of tears roll down his face. But he wouldn't let his voice crack. Niall couldn't see him, but he didn't want him to hear him cry. “And that you're stubborn and that I told you not to leave me but,” he stopped, biting the inside of his cheek and trying to hold it together. “If you want to let go, you should. I don't want you to be in pain anymore.”

Harry took a bit of a breath, half expecting Niall to just give up right at that moment. But his chest continued to rise and fall. Harry nodded to himself, satisfied with that. Because he had one more thing he had to say.

“I love you, Niall,” he said softly, his chest hurting as he said those words to his boyfriend for the first and last time.

Niall's hand slightly squeezed Harry's. It was probably a muscle spasm, but that reaction was the only thing that would keep Harry going for the next few days that followed.


	28. Chapter 28

It continued to rain for the next day and a half. Harry stared out the window of the kitchen. He pushed his cereal around in his bowl as he sat across from Gemma. There wasn't a lot to say. The two of them were likely going to head to the hospital in a little bit, but even that was getting worse. Niall was obviously unresponsive, and usually the four of them just sat in the room quietly. 

The only noises that could be heard were the raindrops hitting the side of the house. The smooth sound of the porcelain as Gemma picked up the tea pot and poured herself another cup. The dull clang of her spoon against the sides of the mug as she stirred sugar into the liquid.

The crack of keys inside the lock and the front door creaking open.

Harry and Gemma looked at each other. Harry swallowed as the two of them looked at the front door.

Maura was standing there, gripping the corners of Niall's pillows in her hand. That could have only meant one thing.

She didn't have to say it. She just looked at the two of them and nodded her head. She clasped her other hand over her mouth, walking swiftly down the hall, past the kitchen and to her bedroom. Her door clicked shut and Harry and Gemma looked at each other.

Harry stared back down into his cereal. The flakes were starting to get soggy, soaking up the milk and becoming quite undesirable. He just looked at them, not even bothering to push them around with his spoon. His mind went completely blank. 

It was Gemma who pulled him out of it.

“Oh god,” she choked out, her hand over her mouth and nose, tears running down her face and over her fingers. 

Harry looked up at her, his mind still just full of white noise. 

“I'm sorry,” Gemma said, covering her face with her other hand as well. “I'm so sorry,” she sobbed, and Harry wasn't sure if she was apologizing because that's what you do when people die, or if it was because she felt like she was supposed to be the one being strong.

“It's all right,” he said softly, sliding his chair back as he got up and walked over to her. He leaned down a bit, wrapping his arms around his sister.

She sobbed into his stomach, her tears soaking through his t-shirt. She clung to him, hugging his torso as she just let herself cry.

Harry looked down at the top of her head, placing his hand on top of it and just rubbing her hair. His chest was tight, but his eyes were dry. He just sighed, breathing evenly. He didn't have any tears – not yet. He was sure they would come. They had to come, didn't they?

But he just kept comforting Gemma as she finally let everything come rushing out. Because she no longer had to be the one to take care of him and Maura. She no longer had to stay strong and keep everything inside.

* * *

An hour later, Harry sat down on Niall's bed. Gemma had composed herself, stating she was going to go shower and make herself look half decent. Harry supposed that made sense – she would want to carry on like nothing had happened. To try and keep being normal.

Maura had spent a good chunk of the morning in her room as well, not coming out. Harry had heard her through her door, talking softly. She was likely on the phone with relatives, letting them know that Niall had finally died.

And him? Well, he was alone. Left to his own devices, which meant that he really didn't know what to do with himself.

He glanced around Niall's room. The football posters were still hung on the wall, the guitar was still propped up in the corner.

Harry stood up, looking around. The walls were a dreadful red colour. He wondered if Niall had picked that out or if they'd always been that way. He supposed he'd never know now what Niall really thought of them, or why that even mattered.

He continued to look around. He opened the dresser drawer, looking at a pile of neatly folded t-shirts. One by one, Harry pulled them out. Some of them were blank, a few of them had graphics on them. There were a couple with band logos that Harry didn't recognize, only knowing they were concert shirts because of the listing of tour dates on the back. There was one Derby County t-shirt, one Brazil t-shirt with the FIFA World Cup South Africa 2010 logo on it.

He folded them up and set them back just as they had been, opening another drawer. It was mostly empty, with just a couple of pairs of jeans thrown in it. 

Atop the dresser there were some trinkets. A squishy aeroplane toy, a picture frame with a picture of Niall and someone else that Harry didn't know. Niall was beaming in the photo, him and the other boy both wearing a football shirt of some kind. Harry figured it was likely some player he'd met, taken a selfie with and then had printed out.

He sat back down on the bed, falling onto his side and burying his face into the sheets. They didn't even really smell like Niall anymore as it had been so long since he'd slept in there. 

“Niall,” Harry muttered to no one but himself. He turned his head a bit, his eyes falling on the guitar. He faintly remembered Niall's rough voice singing as he strummed when they were in... where were they again? Harry could barely remember over the memory he strained to recapture. Niall's voice that he would never hear again buzzing through his brain.

That was when his chest tightened, his throat started to close up and his eyes brimmed with tears. He shoved his face into the pillow again, dampening it. He didn't really cry, he just let the tears roll out.

How could he possibly miss someone that he barely even knew? This boy had been his whole world for only a few months. Before that he hadn't even known he'd existed. If him and Gemma hadn't decided on Rome as their first stop, he wouldn't be in this much pain.

But then he wouldn't have had all those early morning breakfasts and all those late night kisses.

Harry choked out a sob as he thought about how Niall's lips would never brush against his own again. He rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. A couple of tears fell out of his eyes and slid down into his ears. He crossed his arms over his chest, hugging himself tightly and almost pretending that Niall was there with him.

He stayed there for a bit, not knowing what to do with himself. He glanced around the room again, and it suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks. Niall's presence all around him but not really at all. Just the material things he'd left behind.

Harry suddenly wished more than anything to be back in his own room. Back in Holmes Chapel with his sister and mum and his room where the walls were blue and there were no football posters, no guitars, no t-shirts that he knew nothing about.

For the first time in his life he wanted to be back where he was born instead of some strange foreign place without the boy he loved.

But he didn't move. Not until there was a soft knock at the door.

“Yeah,” he said softly, and the door creaked open. It was Gemma. Her long hair was wet and tied up in a bun on top of her head. 

“Maura's made tea,” she said quietly, her voice calm. Much calmer than it had been an hour ago. She nodded her head towards the stairs, trying to tell him to come sit with them.

Harry didn't want to. He just wanted to leave. To just pack his things and thank Maura for letting them stay and put all of this behind him. He couldn't stay in Niall's house anymore, or in his room that he'd never sleep in again.

But he did. He got up and followed Gemma down to the kitchen because he couldn't do that. He owed Maura a cup of tea and a little bit of time to just sit with her and remember Niall. He could do that, because even if he wanted so badly to leave, he also wanted so badly to keep his memory alive.

Maura nodded to the two of them as they sat down. Her eyes were red-rimmed, but she still smiled at them.

“Red Berry was his favourite,” she said as she watched Harry pick up the teapot and pour some into his mug. Yeah, he knew that. He remembered Maura saying that before, back when Niall had actually been able to drink tea.

Harry just nodded, bringing the mug to his lips and taking a sip. 

The three of them just sat there in silence, sipping tea and occasionally looking out the window. It was still raining and it didn't look like there was any chance of it letting up.

“I, um,” Maura started, looking a bit pained and wiping her forehead. “I know this is a lot to ask, but his funeral is in two days...”

Harry gulped. He had completely forgotten about that. He didn't want to go to the funeral. The last way he wanted to remember Niall was dead and in a coffin, with everyone he'd ever known crying over him. He didn't want to stay in Ireland, and Niall's funeral was the last place in the entire country he wanted to be.

“He loved to travel,” Maura continued, looking at Harry and Gemma. Tears were glassing over her eyes again. “It was his whole world,” she said, her voice cracking as she looked down into her head. “The whole world was his whole world,” she cried, covering her face with her hand and composing herself for a moment. “I hardly travelled with him, but you two did. I think it'd be really nice if one of you could talk about that.”

Harry's eyes widened and he looked over at Gemma, who was already staring at him. How could he possibly do that? He didn't even want to go, let alone get up and speak in front of everyone.

But Maura was still looking at him sadly, waiting for an answer. He wasn't about to tell her he wouldn't do it, but no words left his mouth.

“Of course,” Gemma said softly, giving Harry a look before looking back at Maura. “Of course we will.”

Maura nodded her head, smiling slightly as she took another sip of her tea and looked back out the window.

Harry didn't say anything, he just choked his tea down his throat. He kept looking at the entrance to the kitchen, to the stairs that led down from the loft.

Niall wouldn't be walking down them, no matter how much Harry imagined it happening. No matter how much he imagined Niall's bright face lighting up the stairwell as he entered the kitchen.

The house felt so empty without Niall's presence, and Harry just wanted to leave it.


	29. Chapter 29

As soon as they were finished with tea, Harry rushed back up to Niall's room. He started feverishly packing his things into his backpack and luggage. Wherever it would fit, wherever it was closest. He stuffed shirts into a small section at the front of his backback, his extra pair of shoes into his suitcase. It didn't matter – he just had to get out of there.

He'd deal with how they'd tell Maura later. For now it was just - 

“Harry,” Gemma said, stepping into the room and holding onto the door frame as she watched him. Her eyes surveyed the haphazard mess of the room before finally falling on her distraught brother. “What on earth are you doing?”

“Packing,” Harry said simply. It should have been obvious.

“Yes I see that you tosser, thank you,” Gemma rolled her eyes, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind her. “ _Why?_ ”

“Because I'm going home,” Harry nodded, leaning over to pick up another shirt, tossing it into his suitcase. “I want to go home. I want to see mum and I want to see my own room and I can't be in this one anymore.”

Gemma gave him a look. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down. Harry stood there awkwardly for a moment waiting for her to agree with him so he could get back to his packing and his plan of attack to leave.

But she didn't. “We are _not_ leaving,” she said, licking her lips and not daring to take her eyes off of him. “We are going to the funeral, and after that we'll go home.”

Harry shook his head, swallowing all of his feelings down his throat. He was so fucking sick of crying and mourning and feeling lost. He had to get out of there and the funeral certainly was not going to help with any of that. “I'm not going to the funeral.”

Gemma's eyes widened with fury. In all of his eighteen years, Harry didn't think he'd ever seen his sister look so pissed off. “You're going to the funeral,” she said in a tone that sounded a lot like their mum's.

“No,” Harry stressed. He was putting his foot down – there was no way he was doing that. There was no way Gemma could tell him otherwise because ass far as he was concerned he was free to grieve however he wished. And that meant going home and trying to move on with his life instead of staying stuck in the life with Niall that would never happen now.

“Yes,” Gemma countered, moving closer to him. “And you know why?” she asked, keeping her voice hushed, but firm. “Because Maura asked you to. She gave you a lot of time with her son when her own time with him was limited. She was nice enough to let us stay here, so you're going to give her this one day.”

Harry shrugged, looking down at the ground. “I don't-” he started to protest again, but Gemma wasn't having it.

“For god sakes, Harry,” Gemma sighed, bringing her hands to the top of her head and rubbing her temples for a moment. “You're not the only person that this is affecting, so stop being so fucking selfish. Christ.”

Harry swallowed the lump that was rising in his throat. Somehow, he didn't think Gemma would be overly sympathetic if he started to cry right at that moment. He couldn't exactly blame her – she was spot on with everything she was saying. “All right,” he said simply, sitting down on the bed. “I'll go,” he nodded.

“Good,” was all she said, still standing in front of him with her arms crossed again.

“But,” he started, hoping this wouldn't launch her into another lecture. “I'm not speaking. I don't, I can't...” he tried, but was unable to get the words out. The thought of standing there in front of everyone Niall had ever known and detailing the adventures they'd been able to have for only a few short months was too much for him to bear.

Gemma sighed. “That's fine.”

Harry looked up at her gratefully, nodding his head. 

“I'm going back downstairs to tell Maura that I'll speak about Niall. We'll go home the day after the funeral, all right?”

Harry just nodded his head again as Gemma left the room. He still didn't particularly want to go to the funeral, but he knew he had to. Thank god he had Gemma around to stop him from being a worse person than he actually was.

* * *

Maura, Harry, Gemma, Greg, Denise and little Theo were the first to arrive at the funeral home. Maura was insistent that they get there as soon as the doors opened, stressing that she didn't want Niall to be there alone.

And indeed he wasn't. Maura didn't even head to the family room – as soon as they were let inside she headed straight over to Niall's open coffin. Harry could see her from the family room from his position in a squishy armchair. She just stood there occasionally dabbing her eyes with Kleenex as she looked at him.

Greg stepped out there eventually, putting his arm around his mum and whispering something into her ear. Maura nodded and then wrapped her arms around her older son, crying into his chest.

Denise followed shortly after, holding Theo in her arms. Maura walked back into the family room as Greg, Denise and Theo stood with Niall for a moment.

Maura sat down on the couch beside Gemma. She peered out into the main area where the rest of her family were standing and shook her head. “He shouldn't be here,” she muttered, glancing over again at Theo. “Has no idea what's going on.”

Gemma and Harry just glanced at each other, but they didn't say anything.

Greg walked back into the room, followed right away by Denise and Theo. Maura instantly got up to go stand with Niall again, but Gemma gently touched her shoulder and nodded at her to sit back down. She gave Harry a look and darted her eyes towards the coffin.

Harry sighed, stuffing his hands into the pockets of the dress pants he'd rented and following Gemma over to Niall.

He held tightly onto Gemma's hand as they stared into the coffin. Niall looked the same as he had when he'd been in the hospital. His eyes and mouth were closed, his cheeks actually had colour in them. His hair was the same shaggy grown out blonde mess that it always was. The only difference was that his chest was completely still.

Harry gulped, still staring down at his dead boyfriend. He didn't know what to say, or if he should say anything at all. It wasn't like Niall could hear him now. It was so strange to see him laying there. They'd done him up so well that it seemed completely plausible for him to just sit up and ask “What's the craic?”

Of course he didn't, he just kept laying there. Harry's chest was tight, his heart beating fast. He placed his hand on top of Niall's chest, touching the smooth fabric of the Derby County shirt he was wearing. He'd obviously requested to be buried in that, and “not in a fuckin' suit.” Harry could practically hear the conversation in his head, even though he hadn't witnessed it.

“He looks so peaceful,” Gemma whispered, looking down at Harry. 

Harry nodded his head slowly, not taking his eyes off of Niall. He did indeed look peaceful. Which was ironic, because that was the last word he would have ever used to describe Niall when he was alive.

“He's not in pain anymore,” she continued, sniffing a bit. 

Harry shook his head. Niall continued to lay there, unmoving and lifeless. He stared at Niall until he couldn't stare at him anymore. Until his closed eyes that weren't bright and blue became too much for him. Tears brimmed in his eyes, but they didn't fall. Instead, he looked at Gemma.

Tears were certainly falling down her face, creating thin black streaks down her cheeks. 

“Gem,” Harry said, laughing a little bit through the sadness in the bit of his stomach. “Your mascara is running.”

“Ugh,” Gemma said, wiping the bottom of her eyes with the pad of her thumb. “The one time I wear makeup.”

Harry laughed a little bit, leaning in to hug his sister and pulling her close. They embraced for a moment before Harry glanced over to the front. People were starting to filter into the pews now, and he figured they should probably get going to give other people a chance to see Niall. He glanced over to the back and saw Holly come in with her family. He made eye contact with her, nodding his head a little bit. She nodded back.

He pulled away from Gemma, taking her hand again. She nodded her head at him, glancing into the casket for one last time. “Bye, Niall,” she said softly, gingerly touching his shoulder.

Harry swallowed again, looking down at Niall. He just blinked a few tears away and reached inside to touch Niall's soft hair with his thumb. He didn't say anything before they walked away. He'd said everything he needed to in the hospital. He didn't want his last words to his boyfriend to be after he'd died.

* * *

Harry and Gemma sat in the front pew with Maura, Greg, Denise and Theo. Before the priest started to speak, they'd shown a slideshow of Niall's life. It was set to a Justin Beiber song that Harry didn't know, but that didn't stop him from laughing and rolling his eyes a little. He supposed the small perk of Niall knowing he was going to die was getting to plan bits of his own funeral.

Harry hoped that somehow Niall was there to witness all of his wishes being adhered to.

The priest talked for a while of course. A few generic things about god and the bible and some verses that Harry probably should have known from all the years his mum had dragged him to church. He just sat there with his hands crossed in his lap, staring at them and closing his eyes every time he was instructed to pray.

Greg spoke next, and Harry listened to him more closely. He talked about his childhood with Niall and about how Niall had loved football. How he and Niall played football together often until Niall had hurt his knee, which Harry hadn't even known about. A few tears fell from his eyes as he wished he'd had more time to get to know him.

Greg nodded his head to everyone as he finished. The priest thanked him, and then introduced Gemma.

Gemma looked down at Harry as she stood up. She tapped his shoulder softly before walking to the front.

“Hi,” she said slowly, looking out at all of the people. Harry sat up straighter, trying his best to listen to every word his sister had to say. “I'm Gemma, and I met Niall when my brother and I were in Rome. We thought we were just starting a six month trip to tour Europe and have a laugh before going off to college. I know that I certainly didn't anticipate meeting this energetic boy who would end up joining us on our travels.”

Harry glanced around. A few people smiled and a couple laughed softly. Most of them just listened, and of course there were always scattered sniffles.

“Niall came with us all through Italy, over to Germany and Stockholm. I won't list every single place that we went, but rest assured it was a lot. I remember being in Madrid and Niall practically forcing myself and my brother to go to a Real Madrid match.”

A couple more laughs from a few people, who could clearly picture Niall doing something like that.

“I've never been a huge fan of football, and neither has Harry but we had so much fun at that match,” she smiled, wiping a couple tears from her eyes. “I've never seen someone so into the game, so passionate about it. He knew what was happening on the whole field and everyone sitting around us knew that he knew. He was certainly loud enough about it.”

A few more laughs. Harry even smiled a little bit, remembering that day.

“Everywhere we went he was always laughing and smiling. He always had a comment about something,” she stressed, rolling her eyes just a little bit. “He was always so keen on seeing all of the sights and learning what he could, but that didn't mean he didn't have to put his own spin on history. The number of times I shook my head at him on that trip while he and my brother were laughing about something stupid,” she sighed, looking down at her notes and laughing a bit through her tears. 

Maura laughed a little bit as she cried, wiping her eyes with a Kleenex. Harry reached over and laced his fingers with hers. He glanced at her and smiled a bit. She squeezed his hand, not letting go as Gemma continued to speak.

“Through all of that and all over Europe, Niall never took life too seriously. It was the thing I loved the most about him, and the thing that I'll always remember. It's the thing that I'll take away from here when Harry and I go back to England. I'm so happy to have gotten to know him, because in just five months we felt like we were lifelong friends. I know Harry feels the same way.” She glanced down at Harry, making eye contact with him and smiling softly.

Harry nodded his head. It was unfortunate that he hadn't had more time with Niall, but he couldn't deny that being around Niall had made him instantly comfortable. Like they'd known each other for a lot longer than a few months. 

Gemma smiled and looked back down at her notes before addressing everyone again. “His enthusiasm and carefree attitude is something that I'll carry through with me on every trip I take. From now on whenever I travel, Niall will be with me. I wouldn't want it any other way.”

She smiled and stepped down from the podium, sitting back down next to Harry.

Harry leaned his head on Gemma's shoulder as the priest started to talk again. Everything she said was so spot on, and it was a shining light on this dark cloud of a day. Perhaps coming to the funeral was the right way for him to grieve after all.


	30. Chapter 30

Harry woke up the next morning with light streaming in through the window. He squinted and sat up. For the first time in nearly a week, the rain had actually stopped.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He looked over at his bags. They were nearly packed and ready to go, except for a few essentials that he needed in the morning. He supposed he and Gemma were going to be on their way back to England; back to their mum's house. She was probably going to ask why they were back early. And though there was still a tightness in Harry's chest when he thought about Niall, there was also a slight smile on his face.

He threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt as he headed downstairs. Peering into the kitchen, he noticed Maura moving about. She had the teapot on the table and breakfast cooking on the stove.

She smiled softly at Harry as he sat down at the table across from where Gemma already was. She glanced up at him before going back to reading the local paper.

“They did a very nice bit on Niall,” Maura said, looking at Harry and motioning to the small article Gemma was reading. 

Harry nodded, glancing over a bit and looking at it. He hadn't truly appreciated how small Niall's town was until right that moment.

Maura placed a plate tall with eggy bread onto the table and sat down. She waved her hand, motioning for the two of them to start eating. Which Harry did – his stomach grumbling as he took some of the bread and placed it on his plate. 

“It's a lovely day, isn't it?” Maura nodded, looking out the window as she took a sip from her mug of tea. “Perhaps this time of year won't be the rainy season any longer,” she smiled, nodding her head slightly at Harry.

Harry smiled, looking out the window. It certainly was unseasonably nice.

* * *

After breakfast, Harry and Gemma took a little while to clean up. Finally, they had their bags at the front door, waiting for the taxi that would pick them up and take them to the airport.

Maura stood there with them, hands on her pockets. “Well, I'm sorry I couldn't take the two of you to the airport. Got people coming over, you know how it is,” she chuckled. 

Gemma waved her off. “As if you haven't done enough for us already,” she said, pulling her in for a hug. “Thank you so much.”

“It was nothing,” Maura smiled, patting Gemma on the back before pulling away. “Thank _you_ for staying here and keeping me company through all of this. And for the photos, they're just lovely.”

Gemma nodded her head, looking at Maura with gratitude.

“Stay in touch, yeah?” Maura asked, still smiling at her. “You're such a sweet girl,” she said, before hugging her again.

“Of course we will,” Gemma replied, pulling away and wiping a few tears from her face.

Harry snorted a bit because he didn't think he'd ever heard his sister described as “sweet” before.

“And you,” Maura said, turning to Harry and opening her arms. He leaned in to hug her tightly, leaning his head down to rest it on her shoulder. She pulled away, smiling and touching Harry's face. “I am so happy that he met you and had the chance to fall in love.”

Harry let out a short breath, nodding his head and smiling at Maura. Niall had never actually told him he loved him. Not with words, anyway. “He told you that?” he asked, because he couldn't not.

Maura shook her head slowly, but the smile never left her face. “He never tells me anything,” she nodded. “But I know that he did.”

Harry smiled and gave a bit of a sigh of relief. After all, if anyone knew Niall inside and out, it was his mum. 

The taxi pulled up onto the street, honking its horn to let them know it had arrived.

“Oh,” Maura said, looking out the window. “Suppose you'd best be off, then. Come here,” she said, pulling the two of them in for one last hug.

“We'll be in touch,” Gemma said when they pulled away. “And if you ever want to come visit us in Cheshire, you'll have a place to stay. I'm sure you and our mum would get along fabulously.”

Harry laughed, nodding his head. He could absolutely picture Maura and his mum laughing and sitting at their kitchen table over a pot of tea or a bottle of wine.

Maura smiled. “I look forward to it,” she said as she opened the door for the two of them to leave. Gemma and Harry stepped outside, and Maura waved goodbye to them. “Safe travels,” she said, before they got into the cab and began to drive off.

Harry looked back and watched as they rolled away from Niall's house. He couldn't quite believe it, but he was actually sad to leave.

* * *

When they arrived at the airport, Gemma promptly purchased two tickets to Heathrow. They didn't go through security right away since they had a little bit of time before their flight, so they just sat in the lounge and sipped on coffees.

Harry glanced around at all of the people walking by. He wondered what they were like and where they were going. If they were travelling home like he was, or if they were beginning some adventure like he had been a few short months ago.

A few short months that felt like a lifetime ago now.

“I was going to wait until we got home,” Gemma said, looking at Harry. He glanced over at her quizzically. She was leaned over her suitcase, unzipping it. “But you just look so melancholy,” she laughed a bit, shaking her head. “Here.”

She pulled out a large flat book and handed it to Harry. He thumbed the cover of it, a simple dark blue fabric with a shamrock in the lower left corner. In the centre sat a bunch of letters in a lavish font, spelling out _Early Breakfasts and Endless Commentary._

He glanced up at Gemma with a bit of a look. “Well open it,” she urged him, waving her hand towards the pages.

He did as she instructed, looking at the first page. It was a glossy picture of him and Niall laughing at Palatine Hill. The first picture she'd ever taken of the two of them.

He glanced up at her and she just smiled at him, taking a sip of her coffee with a twinkle in her eye.

Harry continued to flip through the pages, thumbing the pictures softly as he looked at them and remembered everything that had happened when the shutter had gone off. Everything was in there, the picture of Niall smiling on the first train they'd taken together. The two of them sitting closely at the garden in the cathedral, the train in Madrid and the subsequent picture of Niall shouting at the match – which Harry laughed out loud at when he saw.

As promised, the picture of Niall and Harry smiling at Vasa Museum was in there and every other photo Gemma had taken along the way. 

“Gemma,” Harry said softly when he looked at the last page – the only picture of him and Niall that was taken in Ireland. The picture of their two hands intertwined. He was completely speechless as he stared at it and remembered it, hearing Niall's familiar laugh ringing throughout his mind.

“Do you like it?” she asked softly, leaning over with her legs crossed and her chin in the palm of her hand.

He nodded his head. Like it? He loved it. His heart was practically bursting. “How did you... when did you?”

Gemma laughed and rolled her eyes. “Well what do you think I did while you and him were off all the time? Had to keep myself occupied.”

He looked at her, shaking his head. Maybe sweet was the correct word to describe his sister after all. “Thank you,” he choked out, crying happy tears for the first time in a long time.

“You're welcome,” she said sincerely. He looked back down at the book, flipping through it from the beginning again.

“I don't want to go home,” he said softly as he experienced their trip all over again. 

“What?” Gemma raised her eyebrow.

Harry shook his head. The whole point of their trip was to explore and visit and have new experiences. He'd certainly done that and Niall would want them to keep doing that. He wanted to keep doing that for as long as he could. And they still had time. “Let's go to Paris,” he said, looking at Gemma seriously. “Mum's not expecting us home for another few weeks.”

Gemma sighed, but she stood up. “You couldn't have decided this before I bought the tickets home?” she asked, hands on her hips.

Harry shrugged, giving her a sheepish smirk that he'd used when they were children to try and get out of trouble. 

But it was obvious she understood. “I'm sure I can change these since I bought them just twenty minutes ago,” she laughed a bit, patting him on the back as she walked over to the ticket counter.

Harry smiled, looking back down at the book and back down at Niall's smiling face. This was the Niall he wanted to remember. Not the one sick in a hospital bed. Not the one laying lifeless in a coffin. And thanks to Gemma, he always would.

* * *

Paris was beautiful. The sun was shining when they got there and made for excellent weather for wandering around the city.

Harry pulled Gemma into a cafe on their way to the Eiffel Tower, stating he was hungry and that the first thing he wanted to do before anything else was eat a baguette. And an eclair. And a macaroon... well, actually three macaroons.

They stood on the second floor of the Eiffel Tower, staring out into the city below. Gemma snapped pictures, of course. Harry couldn't help but photobomb a couple of them, leaning in front of the lens right before she hit the shutter.

“Will you stop it?” she asked with annoyance. “If your greasy face touches the lens I'll never forgive you.”

Harry laughed, leaning against the rail and staring out at Paris. The city seemed to go on forever. They walked around the second floor for a while, Gemma taking pictures at every angle. She even took a few of Harry, grinning and gesturing out to the view.

They walked around until they reached the elevator to go back down. “Shall we, then?” Gemma asked, motioning towards the elevator.

“Actually,” Harry said, looking over towards the stairs. “I'd rather walk down.”

She gave him a look. “Are you mad? We literally just ate an entire cafe.”

But Harry just shrugged, hands in his pockets. “I just don't think you've truly experienced Paris until you're in the Eiffel Tower.”

She continued to gape at him. “Where exactly do you think we are right now?”

“But like,” he said, motioning towards the stairs. “ _In it_ ,” he grinned.

“Ugh,” she shook her head, but walked past him and towards the stairs all the same. “Fine.”

Harry smiled, a little bounce in his step as he followed Gemma down the steps. She was quiet the whole way, stopping only for a couple of seconds to glance at some of the info-graphics that were handing up on the metal.

Harry stopped at one point on the steps. Through all of the painted brown metal he looked up at the sky and smiled. For a moment, he felt like Niall was standing there with him.

“What are you doing?” Gemma asked from the platform about twenty steps down. “Come on.” 

Harry laughed, nodding his head as he looked down at her annoyed face. “Coming,” he said as Gemma shook her head and turned to start walking down the next set of steps. 

Harry looked upwards one last time. He smiled to himself, bobbing his head with a final satisfied nod before following her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading <3 I know this one was really sad and different than what I usually write but I'm so happy that you guys gave it a chance and enjoyed it. :) 
> 
> I'm currently working on editing this to try and publish it. So if there's anything that you didn't like about it or stood out to you as weird plot-wise, please let me know so I can address it in my re-write. You can either post it as a comment here or email it to me at sakabelle at gmail dot com. Thanks again and I hope you liked the ending.


End file.
